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I dont know anything about how the prison works, those are questions you need to inquire about as those policies and opportunities vary from prison to prison.
But, I do think you should visit her. Prison is supposed to be about rehabilitation, while I KNOW it doesnt work that way, her knowing that she has people who love her and care for her despite her mistakes may make her rehabilitation a realistic goal. If you abandon her, then she may very well give up herself. Visiting her will not encourage her or make anyone believe that you approve of what she did. You arent protecting her from the police or hiding her in your house. She was tried and sentenced and now needs support more than ever so that she knows that her mistakes are not the end all be all of her life and there will be an opportunity to correct that behavior after she is released.
Wow!
That is exactly what I was going to say after reading the original post, but you said it first, and said it very well.
The literal interpretation of the word "sin" is "missing the mark." Your daughter made some errors and is now paying for those. Natural consequences. I don't know why you would question supporting her in turning her life around. She is going to need support and if you don't give it to her, she will have to look elsewhere for it.
Please don't abandon your daughter for making mistakes. Hopefully the family will also learn something through these trials and tribulations and everyone will come out better for the experience, as radical as that might seem at the moment.
I would use it as a teaching tool for your other children - but do it in a way that does not disrespect the humanity of your daughter. Say something like "X made some serious mistakes and now she has to pay for them, but 'X' is still a "good person" who just lost her way . . . "
Yes go visit her. And you can leave a small amount of money on her "commissary".
With that account, she can buy candy, personal items, and maybe cigarettes or whatever. Those items act as "currency" in a prison. Sometimes they can be used to buy "protection" and other times used for other things. But can make an inmate's life a WHOLE lot more pleasant.
And with that said, you can use that as leverage now. Say you will only place money on her account if she promises to shape up when she gets out. Say this is a one time thing - next time there will be no money!
DH used to be a correctional officer and while no PROFESSIONAL officer would turn a blind eye to abuse, I'm sure it does happen from time to time.
If you put money in her account she can buy personal items as someone else mentioned. Things like gum, candy, ramen noodles, etc.
I would go visit her. Let her know you don't condone what she's done to get where she is but she is still your daughter and you still love her. Explain the same thing to your other child(ren).
I would visit -- you haven't said what her attitude toward all this has been. Is she sorry? Is she embarassed? Is she only angry she was caught?
How often I would visit and what I would give her would depend a lot on her attitude. It should be about rehabilitation - it's not like she's some axe murderer. As long as her attitude is right, she can get past this and become a good person.
So is she in jail or a prison? No one teaches their children that it is good to participate in criminal activity. I am certain this will be a learning experience for her. Yes, I do think you should visit, not because you condone what she did, but because she is in prison, has no one familiar around her, and is probably very lonely and scared, and you want her to know that you still love her despite what she did. I am not positive but I think the money account in prison is for anything from toiletries, cigarettes, and snacks. I doubt her daily life is anything close to being cushey. We are approaching the holiday season, certainly a hard time to be away from family, and it would be nice if she had some visitors from home.
Is she in jail or prison. Those are completely different atmospheres. They each have their own issues.
I put money into a commissary account so that a prisoner I know can buy tuna (the food has practically no nutritional value), shoes (when his get worn down), long johns in the winter since there is no ac or heat, and other things that I consider necessary for his health. I also encourage him to buy some treats for himself. In the summer (in FL) since he has no AC, he will buy juice and have them freeze it for him so it is like a popsicle. It makes such a difference to have an occasionial treat.
The specifics of your daughter's location can be found online.
I do think you should visit. You can visit and let her know that you are here for her when she is released, but tell her that you do not support her crime. You can even tell her that if she does it again, your support will be gone.
It is very important for prisoners to have support and visitors. I have been told by several people inside that you can tell the prisoners who have visitors apart from those who do not. The ones who have visitors are more respected and will-liked. They are also the ones who have a better chance at turning their lives around when they get out. I don't know if these people get visitors because they are already like this, or if having visitors causes people to act better. Either way, when prisoners have visitors, that is a good thing.
I see no reason not to visit her, more so during holidays her birthday, I see nothing wrong with giving her money so she can buy items and hopefully she'll start working and earn some money.
From this and your other posts, I see absolutely no benefit in punishing her further. The girl is your daughter and while she's made serious errors in judgment, she's paying a price for them now (and forever onward) that she could probably never have imagined.
Unless she's a completely hardcore case and some kind of sociopath - and from what I've gathered that's not the case - she is most likely beaten down to the point now where you holding out on her is just over the top cruel and unnecessary. I don't see what good it does to add on to the burden she has to already bear. I'm pretty sure she's got the point and now just needs her mom.
I'm sure she'd do the same for you if the tables were turned.
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