Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My soon to be 4 year old son was diagnosed in August with ADHD since then he has been on 2 meds and the 2nd one has started to wear off its not working anymore so probably going to be on to #3 here soon which I don't want. We live in a small town so the doctor is only here 1 day a week and that's the only time he sees my son so not sure how he diagnosed him with ADHD,he won't listen when we ask about alternative solutions like maybe diet change and won't give suggestions he says we need to just find the right medicine for my son. Since the birth of our 3rd child in April my son has gotten worse with time...he loves school but is constantly getting in trouble for biting people,punching people,he screams at people if they try to play in "his" area or on "his" toys...today he literally had a complete meltdown on the way home because I refused to get him a cheeseburger....its just beyond crazy now...I don't know what to do...there are no other doctors here and I don't think the medicine thing is EVER going to work...I was diagnosed with ADHD and was switched around meds for a long time and nothing ever worked...what others suggestions do I have?I just need some suggestions or what others have done in a situation like this.
Yikes. 2 meds at 4 years of age? 5 is awfully young to diagnoses ADHD, isn't it (no expert here, just wondering.)
Can you take him to a developmental pediatrician for a proper evaluation? Even if you have to drive a ways, a second opinion would be well worth it. The behaviors you describe could be due to a whole host of things -- environment, physical problems, etc.
The clue in your message may be "since the birth of our 3rd child in April". Becoming a big brother - perhaps twice, before the age of four - is a huge change for a small child.
Is your soon-to-be-four-year-old your eldest or middle child? How does he act around and towards his siblings? Is he the only boy, one of two boys, or one of three little boys? Whatever his place in the family is, it has changed, and although I expect you tried to prepare him for the new baby as fully as possible, at his tender age, complete understanding is very tough before the happy event.
Did he attend school before the new baby arrived? How was his behavior then? Does he do well with other caregivers - grandparents, babysitters, Sunday School teachers, etc.? Does he play with children other than his siblings and those in his school? How many children are in his class at school? What is the adult-child ratio? Is there a scheduled naptime at school? How about an outdoor play period or two? How many hours is he in school? How much sleep does he get? Can you observe him in class?
Can you stand me asking any more questions?? ;-)
The hitting at school sounds as if he's trying to get more control of his environment. This behavior is common with small children in groups, who do not receive much individual attention. Structuring the day with interesting and varied activities which include both individual activity (such as art projects) and group activity (singing together, playing simple games, picturebook time with the teacher reading and showing pictures), along with supervised free play helps assure the child that they are not being overlooked. Of course, a small child is not going to be able to verbalize that they feel overlooked, or crave attention - but that's exactly what your description of what's going on sounds like to me.
In addition to structuring the day as described above, your son's teacher(s) would do well to talk with ALL of the children, in simple terms, about getting along with each other and obeying the rules. Picturebooks about friendship and going to preschool would help reinforce these crucial messages - if the school staff doesn't provide them, perhaps a trip to the library and home storytime could incorporate the same messages. Talking about what friends are may help him, and other simple activities -have him draw a picture of his friend, draw two friends playing together, act out his Teddy bears being friends, and so on - might also be timely. Let him speak for one Teddy, you speak for the other.
I'd also recommend positive reinforcement whenever possible, even if you have to stretch or set up scenarios where you can. Let him pick if he wants to wear the red or blue shirt - then praise his selection -"Oh, you like the red shirt! It's just like the pretty leaves! Good choice!" or "Wow, you picked the blue shirt! It matches the sky, good choice!" And add: "Wow, you are really getting to be a big boy - I'm proud of you! Baby (sister/brother) will learn so much from you!"
Good luck - hope some of these ideas hit the mark for your little guy.
Yikes. 2 meds at 4 years of age? 5 is awfully young to diagnoses ADHD, isn't it (no expert here, just wondering.)
Can you take him to a developmental pediatrician for a proper evaluation? Even if you have to drive a ways, a second opinion would be well worth it. The behaviors you describe could be due to a whole host of things -- environment, physical problems, etc.
I can try that the doctor suggested seeing a child pysch so going to try that but I will also try and find a Developmental Pediatrician. Yes to me its very young it seems to me the teachers just don't want to have to deal with such a hyper child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek
The clue in your message may be "since the birth of our 3rd child in April". Becoming a big brother - perhaps twice, before the age of four - is a huge change for a small child.
Is your soon-to-be-four-year-old your eldest or middle child? How does he act around and towards his siblings? Is he the only boy, one of two boys, or one of three little boys? Whatever his place in the family is, it has changed, and although I expect you tried to prepare him for the new baby as fully as possible, at his tender age, complete understanding is very tough before the happy event.
Did he attend school before the new baby arrived? How was his behavior then? Does he do well with other caregivers - grandparents, babysitters, Sunday School teachers, etc.? Does he play with children other than his siblings and those in his school? How many children are in his class at school? What is the adult-child ratio? Is there a scheduled naptime at school? How about an outdoor play period or two? How many hours is he in school? How much sleep does he get? Can you observe him in class?
Can you stand me asking any more questions?? ;-)
The hitting at school sounds as if he's trying to get more control of his environment. This behavior is common with small children in groups, who do not receive much individual attention. Structuring the day with interesting and varied activities which include both individual activity (such as art projects) and group activity (singing together, playing simple games, picturebook time with the teacher reading and showing pictures), along with supervised free play helps assure the child that they are not being overlooked. Of course, a small child is not going to be able to verbalize that they feel overlooked, or crave attention - but that's exactly what your description of what's going on sounds like to me.
In addition to structuring the day as described above, your son's teacher(s) would do well to talk with ALL of the children, in simple terms, about getting along with each other and obeying the rules. Picturebooks about friendship and going to preschool would help reinforce these crucial messages - if the school staff doesn't provide them, perhaps a trip to the library and home storytime could incorporate the same messages. Talking about what friends are may help him, and other simple activities -have him draw a picture of his friend, draw two friends playing together, act out his Teddy bears being friends, and so on - might also be timely. Let him speak for one Teddy, you speak for the other.
I'd also recommend positive reinforcement whenever possible, even if you have to stretch or set up scenarios where you can. Let him pick if he wants to wear the red or blue shirt - then praise his selection -"Oh, you like the red shirt! It's just like the pretty leaves! Good choice!" or "Wow, you picked the blue shirt! It matches the sky, good choice!" And add: "Wow, you are really getting to be a big boy - I'm proud of you! Baby (sister/brother) will learn so much from you!"
Good luck - hope some of these ideas hit the mark for your little guy.
He is our middle child he has an older sister and younger sister now.He is sometimes nice sometimes mean to both of them. His sister even though she is only 2 years older is much bigger than him but he is very tough and can hang with her,he just snaps when she takes something from him he doesn't even give anyone a chance to correct the problem he just goes in to freak out mode,like tonight I took a top to a container away because he wanted to ride it down the stairs he freaked out and threw himself on the floor and just pitched a fit for 15 minutes.With his little sister its like he is 2 different people he can be sweet as can be calling her by her nick name,playing with her,giving her the bottle,toys etc...and sometimes when he is riding beside her if he was told no or didn't get his way he may pinch her and I have caught him punching her before...its like jekyll and hyde with him and to come to think of it he is the same way with his older sister as well..Sometimes he tries to help her and is really nice and sometimes he just snaps...He has always been a hyper child much more high strung than his older sister so we allow him to be outside from the time he gets home from school until it gets dark or supper is ready and he loves it...plays in the dirt with his tractors and trucks doesn't harm a fly.He did not attend school before the baby came no this is his very first year and I was hoping it was just an adjustment period he needed but its actually gotten worse since he has been in school.He is VERY defiant towards everyone and refuses to do things he doesn't want to do unless he is in his good mood and if you try to make him he will just stand there and pout.Before he went to school he was high strung but didn't seem as angry at everyone.He has started this whining voice whenever he gets mad and NOTHING anyone says will change it...we can't even bribe him with anything he just has to calm down himself.No he is the same way with teachers and his grandmother now his grandpa won't take the little attitude and he is calmer around him most of the time but not all. No he only has his siblings and the kids at school. Sometimes he does play with my aunt's grandkids or his cousins a few times a year on holidays and he seems fine then. We have a friend who has a 4 year old and they have never gotten angry at each others they are really nice with each other.There are 17 kids in his room and 2 teachers.Yes there is a scheduled nap time and half the time he won't lay down and half the time he will...the teachers have stopped trying to make him because he creates a scene,he is in school from 7:45 until 2:15 every day,M-F he is in bed by 9 and up at 7 85% of the time he ends up in our bed and sleeps throughout the night.Yes they have told us we can observe him in class and they have had one of their people do it as well and he shared the report with us. My wife is supposed to go watch him with their person early next month..Right now he is on Adderall and its now worn off...not sure what to try next..I thought about the Feingold diet but not sure..he gets no soda,he rarely drinks milk and I know those are 2 things that can have an affect...I don't want him to end up in a behavior class the rest of his school years because he can't control his emotions and actions..to me he acts like a 2 year old rather than a almost 4 year old when he goes into his meltdowns...he picks at his skin,its just very frustrating to not have a doctor actually care to look into what's wrong with him..oh and they did say he has low zinc I tried him on some gummie vitamins that had that in it but I didn't notice a difference.
Will have to get back when time permits, but try putting him in bed at 8:00 instead of 9:00 and see if that helps. If he's not napping at school, he's not getting enough sleep for his age.
Also, since he was entered in school when the baby arrived, he may view it as some sort of banishment rather than a natural stage...he's had a lot of change, and seventeen children in his class is a lot of kids, when he has only been around his big sister (and now the baby) previously.
By all means, keep an eye on him when he's around the baby, to keep her safe. You also mentioned his older sister "taking things from him" - is she being corrected for this? At six, she's old enough to know better and is probably doing it to get a reaction from him.
Just a thought - do your two older children watch much television?
Don't bribe him into "being good" - that will make things worse in the long run. Reward good behavior, try timeouts - one minute for each year of his age, on a "thinking stool" or something of the kind. When he acts up, tell him he must be very, very tired, and that means he will have to go to bed right after dinner (he may actually be tired, if he's on alert all day at school and not getting to bed until 9:00 p.m.) so that he'll be able to behave better.
The tv is on but they don't really watch much except on the weekends and then its cartoons. Yes his sister gets corrected when she acts up and takes things. I wish I knew what kind of doctor I could take him to to see if they can give me some more info on what might be the problem...I am not sure what kind he needs to see maybe a neuro doctor of some kind to run some tests he has seen a Pyschologist and she didn't report anything abnormal but maybe its because she isn't around kids much I don't know...I just don't think its ADHD I think its something else...another thing is he barely eats and he NEVER runs out of energy...he could go and go and go...but the docs say he is normal....his sister was never like this...
Oh I forgot today my wife caught him hitting himself in the head! I have no idea where he learned this or WHY he would that...it scares me because I know there is something wrong and I don't think its ADHD...I was diagnosed ADHD and I have a lot of aspects of Aspergers syndrome but have never been diagnosed with it...Any idea on what kind of doctor I can take him to do maybe figure something out would help a ton!
Time for a second opinion. You need to find another doctor because those with ADHD have extreme behavior problems which I've had first hand experience to.
When I was in Grade 8- I use to sit next to a kid with ADHD, he didn't take his medicines one day and he end up slamming my head into a desk causing a concussion.
Well I can only give you our experience, since diagnosis over the internet is impossible and of course I'm not a doctor.
Our son has the hyper impulsive type of ADHD. While some may think 4 is too young for a diagnosis our son was diagnosed at 5 but I knew from the early toddler years that this was not a normal kid. He scored 100% on both evaluations he was given.
Our son takes Intuniv for his ADHD, he doesn't do well on stimulants probably because he doesn't have focus issues just the crazy hyperactivity and impulsiveness. A lot of what you're writing about sounds familiar, the energy and the touching other kids in particular.
So the Intuniv works ok but we are what our sons Kindergarten teacher calls "boot camp parents." I am on him constantly. We do a reward and punishment system based on his behavior at school each day. We do role playing. We have a posted schedule each day. I have my 5 year old in four days a week of martial arts. I also have him in extra science and math tutoring because his gifted brain is as hyper as his body. He takes 2 mile jogs with my husband on the weekend. We have fully eliminated food dyes, artificial favors and most preservatives.
I always chuckle a little when posters suggest things like time outs. Time outs work great for a typical kid, but an impulsive child is just as impulsive 5 minutes later. We tried everything under the sun the above suggestions have gotten us to a point where our son is doing ok. Academically awesome but behavior is ok. I might die from exhaustion before he makes it to adulthood, but be will get there darn it
Get an eval from a child psychiatrist and or a developmental pediatrician. I wouldn't leave this stuff to a normal ped. Good luck!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
