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My child goes to a (private) school where there is a "Virtue of the Month" award.
Something weird happened last month...
My child was not given the award - NO BIG DEAL! However, at the end of the day in the car pick-up line, the teacher came over in a covert way and told me she wanted to give my child the award "but couldn't". She didn't specify the reason. She went on to tell me that she "secretly" gave my child the same award without other kids seeing because she "thought she deserved it the most".
I did notice, however, that kids who have received the award publicly are the kids of Board members and/or big donors. Coincidence???
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think I am so naive/stupid to not know that this sort of thing happens, but I am shocked and surprised that it is so blatant. Anyone else have a similar experience? I had been thinking about switching schools prior to this incident for the same reason (preferential treatment to Board members and their families), so should this example be enough of a "deal breaker"? Am I over-reacting?
It might be a nice change to switch her to a different kind of school. Too much of this type of nonsense could eventually cause her to lose some motivation to excel. I'm sure she'll be fine and maybe even learn some "life lessons" if you keep her where she is, but on the other hand it might be really beneficial for her to experience a school environment where awards are based on merit and accomplishment.
My child goes to a (private) school where there is a "Virtue of the Month" award.
Something weird happened last month...
My child was not given the award - NO BIG DEAL! However, at the end of the day in the car pick-up line, the teacher came over in a covert way and told me she wanted to give my child the award "but couldn't". She didn't specify the reason. She went on to tell me that she "secretly" gave my child the same award without other kids seeing because she "thought she deserved it the most".
I did notice, however, that kids who have received the award publicly are the kids of Board members and/or big donors. Coincidence???
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think I am so naive/stupid to not know that this sort of thing happens, but I am shocked and surprised that it is so blatant. Anyone else have a similar experience? I had been thinking about switching schools prior to this incident for the same reason (preferential treatment to Board members and their families), so should this example be enough of a "deal breaker"? Am I over-reacting?
You won't avoid these award ceremonies by switching to public school, unfortunately. They got so out-of-control that I told the principal I was keeping my kids home on award days. This was in spite of the fact that my own kids were frequently recognized. I watched one teacher recognize every single student for something, except one poor boy left sitting alone while the rest of the class made their way to the stage. I must say though, Virtue of the Month is a new one for me!
I was glad to see the monthly public award ceremonies disappeared in middle school.
Yes, generally speaking, my child receives a "decent enough" education. Every teacher my child has had at that school has been nothing but caring, nurturing, and kind. I actually felt really bad for the teacher because I could tell it pained her to tell me her news and that she didn't really have a choice in the matter. It would be hard to switch schools at this point because this would mean taking my child away from friends.....
You won't avoid these award ceremonies by switching to public school, unfortunately. They got so out-of-control that I told the principal I was keeping my kids home on award days. This was in spite of the fact that my own kids were frequently recognized. I watched one teacher recognize every single student for something, except one poor boy left sitting alone while the rest of the class made their way to the stage. I must say though, Virtue of the Month is a new one for me!
I was glad to see the monthly public award ceremonies disappeared in middle school.
I think this really depends on where you live. Around me you never see school awards of any kind until Middle and High School when they are earned academic achievements. The only exception I've seen is in some of the poor performing urban schools. They will have awards like "Student of Month" as an incentive to get kids to stay in school and focus on education. But then again my kids have never received an unearned medal or trophy for any sport they've been associated with, so I must live in a parallel universe.
My child goes to a (private) school where there is a "Virtue of the Month" award.
Something weird happened last month...
My child was not given the award - NO BIG DEAL! However, at the end of the day in the car pick-up line, the teacher came over in a covert way and told me she wanted to give my child the award "but couldn't". She didn't specify the reason. She went on to tell me that she "secretly" gave my child the same award without other kids seeing because she "thought she deserved it the most". I did notice, however, that kids who have received the award publicly are the kids of Board members and/or big donors. Coincidence???
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think I am so naive/stupid to not know that this sort of thing happens, but I am shocked and surprised that it is so blatant. Anyone else have a similar experience? I had been thinking about switching schools prior to this incident for the same reason (preferential treatment to Board members and their families), so should this example be enough of a "deal breaker"? Am I over-reacting?
Nope. It's likely not concidence. The same thing goes on at public schools - the smaller the school - the worse it is, in my experience.
Here's what I decided when my son was in elementary school ~ if you can't beat them, join them. I joined the executive board, showed my face at the school all the time and he definitely reaped the benefits. Sad, isn't it?
I thought those days were over in high school - but he just had the worse athletic experience of his life (senior year) and I wonder . . . I didn't volunteer for anything; I didn't suck up to the new coach; I didn't give much to the Athletic Boosters Association as we have been incredibly busy visiting colleges and doing all that. Coincidence that he got no awards and was overlooked for pretty much everything - even though he was one of their top 5 performers? I think not.
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