Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not all rape is influenced by alcohol, but some are. We can influence the ones that are alcohol induced. Just because we can't stop all rape by limiting underage kids exposure to alcohol fueled parties that doesn't mean we shouldn't limit their exposure. If we can stop some rapes from happening, or at least keep our own children out of harm's way, we should do that. Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good.
Rape is not influenced by alcohol... if it was, anyone that drinks would rape.
You won't stop rapes from happening by limiting access to alcohol, parties, or curfews. We will only reduce rape statistics by teaching children about appropriate boundaries, & educating teens about consent, coercion, rape, & encouraging them to speak up when they hear their peers making light of things they may otherwise not recognize as rape.
How many teens believe someone cannot be raped by a person they are in a relationship with, or were previously sexually active with? How many teens believe rape is only rape if the person physically fought back, or repeatedly said no? How many teens believe it is socially acceptable to get someone drunk/high so that it is possible to score? How many believe they/someone else can consent to sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol?
More than not, I guarantee it.
Honestly, I think it should be a mandatory part of learning about safe sex in schools. Not all parents can be trusted to teach their children about proper sexual boundaries.
Someone mentioned the young boy who believed the girl he kissed lied about being forced... instead of telling him girls will lie & it won't matter what the truth is, it would have helped to ask him how he knew she willingly kissed him/did not feel forced or pressured to kiss him? From that point forward the lesson he should have learned is to always ask if it is okay to kiss a girl before he kisses them.
Last edited by thethreefoldme; 03-22-2013 at 11:09 AM..
Rape is not influenced by alcohol... if it was, anyone that drinks would rape.
That's ridiculous. Not everyone who smokes gets cancer. Yet we know that smoking influences whether someone is at higher risk for cancer. Alcohol is a factor in a large number of sexual assaults.
How many teens believe it is socially acceptable to get someone drunk/high so that it is possible to score? How many believe they/someone else can consent to sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol?
You contradict yourself here. Either alcohol can influence rape or not. Make up your mind.
That's awesome! It was so sweet I almost teared up a little, which is kid of sad because it should just be the norm.
I went to parties when I was younger, and that was the normal response if a girl fell asleep at the party, if it was a guy he might get a marker to the forehead, but nobody messed with the girls. I was raised in household where women were to be respected, and I chose friends, both girls and boys who shared those values. When you are raised that way you do develop a pretty good intuition about good guys, and bad ones. The guys who were allowed into our crowd were the type of young men who treasured girls, and wanted to do things for her so she would like him back, they didn't just take something that wasn't explicitly offered.
I never had a guy touch me without consent no matter how much I drank, nor did I ever see it at any of my friends parties, there was no public sex period, anyone who did that at someone else's house would be kicked out, that would just be gross, find your own place to do that if you are a couple. None of my friends, guy or girl would let some guy take a drunk girl he didn't know very well anywhere. A lot of kids drink, and sometimes to excess, that doesn't mean they will rape, those two things are not in the same league
Rape doesn't happen because of normal sexual desire, even the horniest teenage boy can control himself enough to not rape someone. Rape is based on disrespect, it's about power, humiliation, and thinking you're so special you can just do whatever you want, that's the problem with worshiping athletes, musicians, or whomever, they start to think they don't need to ask, that girls exist only for their own amusement to be used and discarded.
That's ridiculous. Not everyone who smokes gets cancer. Yet we know that smoking influences whether someone is at higher risk for cancer. Alcohol is a factor in a large number of sexual assaults.
I didn't say alcohol does not put you at a higher risk to be raped. Maybe I wasn't clear but what I meant was that alcohol doesn't make someone a rapist -- the people who are 100% responsible for rape.
There is no contradiction.
Teens being unaware of what constitutes rape is not the same as saying alcohol is responsible for someone raping.
Nobody said alcohol is responsible for raping. What has been said is that alcohol is a risk factor in sexual assault. Keeping your kids away from alcohol fueled party does decrease the risk that they will be sexually assaulted. It does not remove the risk that your child might b sexually assaulted.
The link between alcohol and sexual assault has been well studied. It's not something I made up all by myself.
That's ridiculous. Not everyone who smokes gets cancer. Yet we know that smoking influences whether someone is at higher risk for cancer. Alcohol is a factor in a large number of sexual assaults.
You contradict yourself here. Either alcohol can influence rape or not. Make up your mind.
I did not see this as a contradiction. Her point was clearly that some teens believe if you get someone drunk enough they won't/be able to say no. So therefore it is not rape in the teens mind. Which is clearly why we need to have discussions with our children on this subject.
I did not see this as a contradiction. Her point was clearly that some teens believe if you get someone drunk enough they won't/be able to say no. So therefore it is not rape in the teens mind. Which is clearly why we need to have discussions with our children on this subject.
It is a contradiction to say that alcohol has no influence on rape and then say that kids think its ok to have sex with someone who is drunk.
I agree that we need to have discussions with our kids on this subject. But I also believe that it is important for parents of teens to do their best to keep their kids away from parties where there is going to be a lot of alcohol consumption. There is a definite link between alcohol use and sexual assault.
Nobody said alcohol is responsible for raping. What has been said is that alcohol is a risk factor in sexual assault. Keeping your kids away from alcohol fueled party does decrease the risk that they will be sexually assaulted. It does not remove the risk that your child might b sexually assaulted.
The link between alcohol and sexual assault has been well studied. It's not something I made up all by myself.
Obviously parents should try their best to keep their children out of harms way. My point was that you shouldn't stop there -- only by educating children/teens will rape culture begin to change.
Most parents assume their kids know better -- but many obviously don't. Many teens --just like the boys from this case -- believe rape is only rape if there is a violent opposition. Parents who do not specifically discuss sexual abuse in its various forms, consent, coercion in all forms with their teens are contributing to the problem far more than alcohol.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
