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True -- they're babies for such a very short time, I never understand the rush to get them on their own.
Somewhere after age two, they outgrow the "family bed" and prefer having their own space but why not just savor the time you have with them? So the baby wants to cuddle with parents for a bit more time, soon they won't.
Sleep doesn't have to be made into a big issue, it doesn't have to involve discipline.
Agreed! I'm so glad we were already resigned to co-sleeping by the time our youngest was born; he was one of those delightful babies who had such a strong gag reflex that he would throw up if he cried to long.
That isn't an accurate interpretation of the article at all. Sleeping with a newborn on a couch is not considered safe co-sleeping. Babies are LESS at risk of SIDS (which is NOT the same thing as suffocation due to co-sleeping unsafely) if they are sleeping with their breastfeeding mama than if they are sleeping in another room. The mother's breathing helps to regulate the baby's breathing, and she is aware of her baby constantly, even during sleep. This is how it works with mammals, which we are.
That isn't an accurate interpretation of the article at all. Sleeping with a newborn on a couch is not considered safe co-sleeping. Babies are LESS at risk of SIDS (which is NOT the same thing as suffocation due to co-sleeping unsafely) if they are sleeping with their breastfeeding mama than if they are sleeping in another room. The mother's breathing helps to regulate the baby's breathing, and she is aware of her baby constantly, even during sleep. This is how it works with mammals, which we are.
That was the death knell for us. It was not really good sleep. For either of us.
Co-sleeping is a common practice worldwide: The rate of SIDS is lowest in cultures that traditionally share sleep, such as Asian. While there could be many other factors contributing to the lower incidence of SIDS in these cultures, all the population studies I've seen have come to the same conclusion: Safe co-sleeping lowers the SIDS risk.
Quote:
Co-sleeping is as safe as the conditions you practice: For obvious reasons, parents under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or medications that interfere with normal sleep patterns should never have their baby in their bed. Other safeguards to employ:
Sleep in a king-size bed if possible, to give everybody enough room.
Be sure there are no wide crevices between the mattress and the guardrail or headboard that your baby's head could sink into.
Never allow infants to sleep in the same bed with siblings or caregivers - they may not have the same awareness of a baby's presence that parents do.
Don't fall asleep with your baby on a surface that isn't firm, such as a couch or a beanbag chair; she could suffocate by getting wedged between the cushions.
Many parents have resolved co-sleeping worries by using a bedside co-sleeper: a crib-like bed that attaches securely to the side of your mattress. This allows you to have your own sleeping space on your bed, while your baby sleeps within arm's reach for easy nursing and comforting.
Also note that toddlers are not at risk for SIDS anyway. Most deaths from SIDS occur between 2 and 4 MONTHS of age. 90% occur when the baby is less than 9 months. Once a baby can roll over on his or her own, the risk is no longer very great.
OP - just noticed your comment that you "bring her out a couple of times a week, so she's getting out and being active." By this, do you mean that she's getting outside twice a week? If so, that's far from enough for a toddler. She should have active physical outdoor time daily for several hours, unless the weather is really bad.
Please clarify if I am misunderstanding you about this - thanks. It may well be a factor in her sleep habit problems.
As a full time working mother my children, as toddlers, weren't outside for hours every day but they were outside everyday (except when it was a hard rain or below zero) at least an half hour or an hour each and every day. If the weather was bad we played with balls or ran around in our basement.
Some children need a lot of exercise and fresh air to be sleepy at night. You may want to try this. It would also be a good opportunity for Dad to spent time with DD at the park, playing with a ball in the back yard or slowly walking with her while she rides her big wheel down the sidewalk in your neighborhood. That will also give you time away from DD to rest and recharge your batteries.
Exactly this. Glad some others are here on the site to explain co-sleeping to those who don't understand it.
It is very, very natural if you are tuned into your baby. Women have been sleeping with their babies since biblical days. Just like all mammals sleep with their babies. It is much more safe than leaving a baby alone.
Now for mothers who are not naturally tuned in to their babies or who smoke or drink (or who sleep with people who smoke or drink), that's another matter altogether.
But, as the poster said below, the issue then is suffocation.
However, safe co-sleeping (having a firm mattress, not having any gaps, not using blankets or pillows, etc.) is safe when done correctly. There is tons of information out there that directs mothers on how this is done. Please study the literature on the dos/don'ts before you do it to ensure that it is done safely.
Also, as I said before, the literature says for mothers to sleep next to baby (mother-baby-wall), and that baby is NOT to sleep next to dad bc dad is not tuned into baby. This last part is about biology not sexism. We are just wired a way that most dads are not. Hence the reason that we produce bmilk just from hearing baby cry. We are tuned in.
For mothers who do not feel comfortable co-sleeping, don't do it. I am not trying to talk anyone into anything just saying that there is nothing wrong with it. All the evidence and many eons of nature support it.
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Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy
That isn't an accurate interpretation of the article at all. Sleeping with a newborn on a couch is not considered safe co-sleeping. Babies are LESS at risk of SIDS (which is NOT the same thing as suffocation due to co-sleeping unsafely) if they are sleeping with their breastfeeding mama than if they are sleeping in another room. The mother's breathing helps to regulate the baby's breathing, and she is aware of her baby constantly, even during sleep. This is how it works with mammals, which we are.
I just read the article for which you provided a link and it is clear to me that you have not done much studying on safe co-sleeping. Do you know that EVERY site that discusses safe co-sleeping says that mothers are to NEVER sleep with their babies on the couch? That is universally agreed upon. As such, I think that the authors of this article may have been well aware that the mother was outside of the bounds of safe co-sleeping but perhaps were feeling sorry for her so they did not mention in the article that sleeping on the couch with baby is universally spoken against.
I wish that this mother had followed the guidelines on safe co-sleeping. I think that the problem with anything is that most people do not research, they just do. For example, I still have a relative putting baby down on stomach - two years ago. With all the research and she is college-educated. All of the research on SIDS and she is putting baby down on stomach. Oh well.
Research is the key. However, this article unfortunately makes a general statement on co-sleeping using an example of an action that is PROHIBITED for safe co-sleeping.
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Originally Posted by cindersslipper
The big deal is this -
We have had coroner after coroner issue warnings about co-sleeping and how dangerous it is for babies.
SIDS has virtually disappeared in Australia with one exception - babies who sleep with their parents.
I just read the article for which you provided a link and it is clear to me that you have not done much studying on safe co-sleeping. Do you know that EVERY site that discusses safe co-sleeping says that mothers are to NEVER sleep with their babies on the couch? That is universally agreed upon. As such, I think that the authors of this article may have been well aware that the mother was outside of the bounds of safe co-sleeping but perhaps were feeling sorry for her so they did not mention in the article that sleeping on the couch with baby is universally spoken against.
I wish that this mother had followed the guidelines on safe co-sleeping. I think that the problem with anything is that most people do not research, they just do. For example, I still have a relative putting baby down on stomach - two years ago. With all the research and she is college-educated. All of the research on SIDS and she is putting baby down on stomach. Oh well.
Research is the key. However, this article unfortunately makes a general statement on co-sleeping using an example of an action that is PROHIBITED for safe co-sleeping.
*sigh*
There is no such thing as "safe co-sleeping"
To ensure our research in the field of sudden and unexpected death in infants remains current SIDS and Kids has formed a National Scientific Advisory Group (NSAG) which has members from across Australia. This group also consults with international experts when required.
SIDS and Kids Safe Sleeping Message: 1. Sleep baby on the back from birth, not on the tummy or side 2. Sleep baby with head and face uncovered 3. Keep baby smoke free before birth and after 4. Provide a safe sleeping environment night and day 5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve months 6. Breastfeed baby if you can
To ensure our research in the field of sudden and unexpected death in infants remains current SIDS and Kids has formed a National Scientific Advisory Group (NSAG) which has members from across Australia. This group also consults with international experts when required.
SIDS and Kids Safe Sleeping Message: 1. Sleep baby on the back from birth, not on the tummy or side 2. Sleep baby with head and face uncovered 3. Keep baby smoke free before birth and after 4. Provide a safe sleeping environment night and day 5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve months 6. Breastfeed baby if you can
Did you go to the second page of your PDF? It details how to cosleep safely. It says that the vast majority of SIDS deaths take place when the mothers smoke, and "Most studies have shown no increased risk from babies bed-sharing with non-smoking mothers." Then there is a list of circumstances which makes it unsafe. Cosleeping in itself is not unsafe; cosleeping unsafely is.
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