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Before we had kids, we both agreed that we didn't want gaming systems in the house and stuck to that for a long time, but as we have lived with the reality of having 11 and 7 year old boys, that policy has gradually been modified somewhat. We still don't have (and don't want) an Xbox, Xbox Kinect, Playstation or Wii U, but we have permitted Nintendo DS (largely for long car trips and flights) and a regular Wii that the 11 year old bought from a neighbor in a garage sale. And we just spent a reasonable amount of money to get a decent desktop that doesn't crash all the time from the graphics on some of the games. My husband and I have laptops and smartphones, but there are no Ipads or Ipods in the house.
We have always said we are ok with you playing games at your friends' houses, but we are not fans and we don't want to have to police the use of a system in our own home, therefore no system at all. But I have to say that I agree with the comment that someone made a ways back about gaming being part of the social currency with young boys. To be honest, my perception of gamers had always been one of lonely, silent, vacant looking boys staring at a screen image of their character wasting people with big guns. I'm sure it's probably not too hard to find kids like that, but I have been pleasantly surprised at how social gaming is amongst my son's group of friends. While they are playing they frequently talk to each other on Skype and the phone or on the game's messaging system if they are on a server. When they are physically together in a group, they play as a group/s on a variety of devices, all yelling and laughing, and someone's always doing a running commentary on what's happening. Much like when I was with my friends at the same age, minus the gaming. I love that the urge to stay social and in the same physical space remains intact and I think mobile devices are really changing the landscape in that regard.
We changed our position for a couple of reasons. One was that we were worried about setting up a "forbidden fruit" syndrome, desperately wanting something you can't have, in part because you can't have it. More significant was recognizing the role that gaming played with friendships and the very real sadness of being unable to fully participate. Finally, our son was doing everything that we asked of him - good grades, competing in two sports, (largely) helpful around home, polite and well-mannered, curious about the world.
Hadn't quite finished when I posted accidentally. Just wanted to say that it's challenging as a parent to determine the appropriate role of technology in your child's life. We struggle with it every single day. It's a very fluid area and though we started with a blanket "no gaming systems" rule, 10 years on we find we now need a more thoughtful approach that advocates balance and moderation in all things. You may, or may not, find the same thing.
Also, we host a Minecraft server so our sons and their friends can play in a controlled environment. We don't have Call of Duty and the younger one is not allowed to play it, but I don't restrict the older one from playing it at friends who have it (not many do). I'm not thrilled about him playing it, but it's not very often. Quite a few friends also have Halo, but we don't. Mostly at the moment he is into old-school games - Jurassic Park Operation Genesis and StarCraft, the original version from 1998! No computers Monday-Thursday, other than for school.
I was basically raised in a "no video game household or no TV household" during the 90's. I never had a console system and there was one complete POS 19'' TV from the 80's and I absolutely hated growing up this way. Not the entire child hood experience, just the no video games part. Slightly off topic, but this did cause me to to end up reading like a fiend (probably between 20,000-30,000 pages a year in middle school).
My point is, I would go to my friends' houses after school and on weekends and all I wanted to do was play on their systems because I couldn't do that at home. As such, with the exception of during the summer (because I had a pool), rarely did I invite friends friends to my house to just hang out because as far as I was concerned there was really no point to come over except as a staging point to go do something else (ride bikes, go play catch, etc).
I have noticed when they do watch TV, it is hard to transition them away from the TV.
Of course. You limit their time with something they enjoy. (If they hated it they'd walk away from it on their own.)
My guess is once they're old enough to visit friends without you being there they're going to be GLUED to the tube. See post #114.
Personally, I think there's a lot of GREAT television out there. You just pick out the good stuff and turn off the junk. Right now PBS is showing a series on the history of the National Parks that is absolutely wonderful. Beautiful photography. Wonderful narration. Lots of John Muir. (My hero.) I've never figured out the "My kid won't watch TV!" parents. I think TV can be a fantastic educational tool. But then I'm not exactly a media snob. My family has always enjoyed spending quality time together with Bugs Bunny and a big bowl of popcorn.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 09-05-2013 at 02:08 PM..
We have a Wii system. The kids don't really play it anymore--they are bored with it. I will not get an XBOX. My 9 year old has a really hard time with the time limits I try to set for games so I just don't want to deal with the arguments and negotiations. He is allowed to play XBOX at his uncle's house when we go over there. I would much rather they play outside. We focus on getting them into outdoor activities and sports. I encourage them to play outside a lot with other kids in the neighborhood. I do allow one hour of screen time per day if all chores are done and homework is completed. This includes TV. My oldest plays Minecraft. They have Kindles. They are only allowed to use those on the weekends with time limits. I probably won't ever take electronics away completely but they need to understand it is a priveledge and they can only use in moderation.
I really admire families who don't have tv or video games in their homes. I think it is great. My hope is that if we keep them involved in other things they won't want to sit around and play games. I am one of those horrible, mean parents who believes video games are too violent and toxic.
I was basically raised in a "no video game household or no TV household" during the 90's. I never had a console system and there was one complete POS 19'' TV from the 80's and I absolutely hated growing up this way. Not the entire child hood experience, just the no video games part. Slightly off topic, but this did cause me to to end up reading like a fiend (probably between 20,000-30,000 pages a year in middle school).
I was (and am) a Avid reader. . .and an avid gamer. Though these days I find it easier to do Audible (i.e. at the gym, in car) to find time.
Just pointing out. . .that gaming and reading aren't cannibalistic to each other
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