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This is something I struggle with my now teen. As a child myself, I couldn't care less about fashion and just wore what I liked. My mom used to try to push certain styles on me but I wouldn't wear them.
I try hard for my kids to walk in their own footsteps and not follow what their peers are wearing/doing. It isn't that I want them to be unique as an individual but to wear or like something because they like it and not because it's the trend. At the same time, I don't want them to feel awkward/teased for not wearing the style either. Kids are so cruel sometimes. It's a hard balance and fine line to walk.
The thread on jeggings reminded me of this. Do you think it's helpful to have your kids look somewhat in style? Do you allow them to wear all trendy clothes or none of the trendy and opting for classics/long wearing etc?
ETA: This got lost in the OP somehow. I had a paragraph on how I allow my kids to buy whatever they want as long as it isn't too sexy/trashy or it looks good on them. So far it's been not too much of a struggle but I have had to steer them away from a certain trend and into something else. As my oldest gets older and more into an idea of how she wants to look, I hope it's for what she likes and not what her peers are wearing.
Last edited by momtothree; 11-18-2013 at 12:05 PM..
This is something I struggle with my now teen. As a child myself, I couldn't care less about fashion and just wore what I liked. My mom used to try to push certain styles on me but I wouldn't wear them.
I try hard for my kids to walk in their own footsteps and not follow what their peers are wearing/doing. It isn't that I want them to be unique as an individual but to wear or like something because they like it and not because it's the trend. At the same time, I don't want them to feel awkward/teased for not wearing the style either. Kids are so cruel sometimes. It's a hard balance and fine line to walk.
The thread on jeggings reminded me of this. Do you think it's helpful to have your kids look somewhat in style? Do you allow them to wear all trendy clothes or none of the trendy and opting for classics/long wearing etc?
If the children don't "fit in" no matter what they wear they have the wrong friends or there are bigger issues.
My children could be "trendy" as far as clothing goes if they wanted after they had jobs and bought their own clothing.
This is something I struggle with my now teen. As a child myself, I couldn't care less about fashion and just wore what I liked. My mom used to try to push certain styles on me but I wouldn't wear them.
I try hard for my kids to walk in their own footsteps and not follow what their peers are wearing/doing. It isn't that I want them to be unique as an individual but to wear or like something because they like it and not because it's the trend. At the same time, I don't want them to feel awkward/teased for not wearing the style either. Kids are so cruel sometimes. It's a hard balance and fine line to walk.
The thread on jeggings reminded me of this. Do you think it's helpful to have your kids look somewhat in style? Do you allow them to wear all trendy clothes or none of the trendy and opting for classics/long wearing etc?
Let them do whatever they want (as long as it isn't unhealthy and doesn't affect their academic and other basic responsibilities). The biggest challenge is the expense (money) of what they want to do.
Both genders care about fitting in - some kids care about it more than others.
If your child happens to feel the way you felt as a teen, consider yourself lucky instead of superior.
Starting in middle school, finding the courage to assert your own likes is hard. Kids if both genders will resort to a uniform of sorts to avoid the social sin of standing out TOO much. For girls it could be leggings with uggs; for boys it could be the frat/preppy look or bball clothes.
I try to help mine look the part without trashing our family's values.
I'm somewhat in the middle on it. I don't like to put too much importance on labels in either direction. That is you can make labels too important either positively or negatively. There isn't a good reason to make a kid look or feel like a big dork either just because you hate labels. Some compromise can let the kid feel he or she fits in and is in style, but you don't have to over do it either.
My kids don't go to a traditional school, so they don't have the pressure of dressing like their peers. We buy most of our clothes secondhand, so the cost isn't much of an issue. My older daughter likes good brands and she likes clothes that are a little dressy, usually. People have a hard time telling how old she is because she doesn't dress like a tween. My younger daughter likes to wear party dresses all the time and doesn't care at all about labels. She won't wear anything she thinks is uncomfortable though.
When my kids were still in a regular school, sometimes my oldest would want something trendy...a pair of boots or a particular vest. It was never anything really major.
I'm somewhat in the middle on it. I don't like to put too much importance on labels in either direction. That is you can make labels too important either positively or negatively. There isn't a good reason to make a kid look or feel like a big dork either just because you hate labels. Some compromise can let the kid feel he or she fits in and is in style, but you don't have to over do it either.
There's a student where she is only allowed hand me downs and there's quite an age difference from her to her oldest sister. (2 girls 3 boys, she is the youngest and the sister is the oldest) So for an example, all her jeans are flared/bejewled/faded. She hates flared jeans and her mom refuses to buy her plain dark blue boot cut jeans just because she doesn't like the style. I know this as the mom will tell me that her daughter has to realize it's just clothes and not a big deal. It's her character that counts and that's why she won't "give" in. Her rules, shrugs. My daughter says she is teased a little bit for her "sparkling" jeans. (nothing serious though)
I am like you though, I try to steer in the middle.
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