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My hopes are that I raise my son the right way, with respect for his parents and the capability to see how much was sacrificed to raise him and make sure he turned into a success. I shouldn't have to ask him for anything. If I raised him right then he would already know the right thing to do and take care of those who have always taken care of him which is exactly the same way I am with my folks that are getting ready to retire. I'm always attentive to their needs and always offer to help them in any way that I can. Why? That's how I was raised and that is how I am raising my son.
Anyone who thinks it's acceptable for your child to be wealthy and let their parents live in a cardboard box whether they didn't plan correctly for retirement or for some unforeseen circumstance is what is wrong with society today. No compassion, no empathy, no desire to do the right thing. It's all about just looking out for yourself and too bad if you don't have the success I have.
Moderator Cut
And does the OP mean he's living in a cardboard box? I see plenty of people stepping up to help parents on the caregiving forum. Parents who were not just unlucky or ill but also estranged, or difficult or selfish or mentally ill for a lifetime etc etc etc. And most of these parent INSIST on staying in their own home long after it's practical or affordable to do so.
It's a HUGE sacrifice doing something other than throwing money at parents. A tremendous emotional and physical drain that can take a decade or MORE of your life away. That's a pretty big deal if the parents were selfish, difficult, distant all the children's lives.
Last edited by Jaded; 12-08-2013 at 12:15 AM..
Reason: Removed political comments
My hopes are that I raise my son the right way, with respect for his parents and the capability to see how much was sacrificed to raise him and make sure he turned into a success. I shouldn't have to ask him for anything. If I raised him right then he would already know the right thing to do and take care of those who have always taken care of him which is exactly the same way I am with my folks that are getting ready to retire. I'm always attentive to their needs and always offer to help them in any way that I can. Why? That's how I was raised and that is how I am raising my son.
Anyone who thinks it's acceptable for your child to be wealthy and let their parents live in a cardboard box whether they didn't plan correctly for retirement or for some unforeseen circumstance is what is wrong with society today. No compassion, no empathy, no desire to do the right thing. It's all about just looking out for yourself and too bad if you don't have the success I have.
Well said. While I'm not a millionaire my wife and I are comfortable and I would help either of our families in any way possible if they needed it. However, I don't know their financial situations so they'd have to ask for help. Right now I just have to assume everybody is fine.
Hopefully I'll raise my children to not only provide them with the tools they need to be successful, but also to give them enough love and compassion so that when they're grown they'd be willing to do the same for me.
Back when my son was growing up and working so hard and we pushed him for success because we saw a special talent in him, we always said once you are an adult and are a millionaire, you can support your Mom and Dad.
Now that boy is a man and is in fact a millionaire. We would like to believe that part of his success is a result of us pushing him to succeed. So we are in part responsible for his success.
Is it his responsibility to send us money now we don't work anymore and no employer will hire my wife and I- too old?
Back when my son was growing up and working so hard and we pushed him for success because we saw a special talent in him, we always said once you are an adult and are a millionaire, you can support your Mom and Dad.
Now that boy is a man and is in fact a millionaire. We would like to believe that part of his success is a result of us pushing him to succeed. So we are in part responsible for his success.
Is it his responsibility to send us money now we don't work anymore and no employer will hire my wife and I- too old?
It is definitely not his responsibility. However, if he is aware that you are not okay financially, I'd like to think he would do the decent thing.
My hopes are that I raise my son the right way, with respect for his parents and the capability to see how much was sacrificed to raise him and make sure he turned into a success. I shouldn't have to ask him for anything. If I raised him right then he would already know the right thing to do and take care of those who have always taken care of him which is exactly the same way I am with my folks that are getting ready to retire. I'm always attentive to their needs and always offer to help them in any way that I can. Why? That's how I was raised and that is how I am raising my son.
Anyone who thinks it's acceptable for your child to be wealthy and let their parents live in a cardboard box whether they didn't plan correctly for retirement or for some unforeseen circumstance is what is wrong with society today. No compassion, no empathy, no desire to do the right thing. It's all about just looking out for yourself and too bad if you don't have the success I have.
My feelings as well.
Both my husband and I were raised this way too. We help out family and have done that.
One caveat though---and I'm sure this isn't the OP's situation. If a family member is wealthy, I don't think that gives other family members the right to demand things. "Hey, you are rich. Send me $10,000." I've known folks who have demanding family members who have made poor choices in life and expect to be carried by the well to do one. But this is different from parents that need helping out a bit on just the day to day things in life.
Under the Chinese Confucian family system popular in many Asian societies, it would be the case. The parents sacrifice everything necessary for the child's education, and later in life the child is expected to show filial piety and support the parents, especially once they retire. I find that in America there is a strong individualistic streak to parenting, whereby the opposite occurs: the child gets a job at the earliest opportunity and then separates from the family as soon as possible. Children who stay at home too long are seen as leeches or layabouts. Each system obviously has its benefits and drawbacks, but I think that in the current economic climate the "rugged individual" path is very impractical for the majority of Americans. In the 50s a kid could leave the nest at 18 and never have to get any financial help from his parents again. He or she wouldn't even have to be particularly industrious or intelligent either, as jobs were so plentiful and education affordable. Nowadays that simply isn't the case.
I am not a parent, but I do think that children should help their parents, especially when they can no longer care for themselves. I, personally, plan to support my mother. She has been my rock, a wonderful mother, the best. I will not, however, support my father, as he has done some damaging things in the past that are unforgivable, and he refuses to get a job to pay for the underage children that he has/had. I don't reward deadbeats.
If I was a millionaire I would certainly offer to help my parents in their retirement, if they needed it, or seemed to be struggling but not actually needful. And if they didn't need it, and weren't struggling, I would at -least- foot the bill for them to go on a cruise, or come visit, or I'd take them to dinner when I came to visit. I would do this partly because of a familial obligation, because they -did- raise me with a strong work ethic, and it's thanks to them that I was able to rise above mediocrity. I would do it also partly because they're my parents and I love them, and it feels good to pamper them a little now and then. I'd do it also as just a general karmic obligation. You give back to those who gave to you.
Unfortunately I'm not in a position to help them. But thankfully, they don't need financial help. I told them as long as their estate isn't in debt and there's enough insurance money to bury them, they can spend every last dime they have if they'll enjoy doing so. I'm grateful for -their- financial assistance when it's been needed every now and then. And I know without any reservation or hesitation, that if I was ever in a position to do the same for them, I would do so.
Yes, I do think if a son is very wealthy then he should support his parents who are having financial difficulties. It would be the right thing to do anyway.
No, your kids don't owe you anything.
Their being in this world is a result of the parents actions. The consequence for that action is children.. Not to sound harsh, just being honest.
I mean, I think that if that child does become successful, I think they should look out for their parents. Not buying everything they want or catering to their every need, but making sure that are okay.
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