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If this is the case, it's more of the radical information about "nipple confusion" and just CRAP like that these poor new moms read about and think actually exists. Give the baby a pacifier if he needs to suck more--but no, pacifiers are EVIL in the minds of all these "experts" on baby care. I know plenty of kids that used pacifiers or "gasp" sucked their thumbs..none of them continue to do so in college however....
Common sense is the best parenting advice anyone can take....one size doesn't fit all and if you have a baby that needs to suck for comfort, a pacifier is better than feeding him constantly...
Well, I can't agree with you. You can offer platitudes like common sense is great and one size doesn't fit all. Or you can provide information. And while there are zealots on every topic imaginable, that is no reason to ignore the actual decent information.
Pacifiers are not evil. But they are a risk to breastfeeding. If the goal is to breastfeed your baby, if the rewards are desirable and the efforts are acceptable, understanding the risks is just smart. While nipple confusion is a stupid term, since the baby is probably not confused, is not crap. It is documented to happen. While many women successfully nurse and allow their babies to use a paci, the truth is you just don't get to know if it will cause a problem to YOUR nursing relationship unless and until it does. Most of us have enough trouble getting the nursing relationship going without wanting to have to correct unnecessary problems that arise from our own ignorance.
The issue that the OP brought up was concern for supply. That really has next to nothing to do with comfort sucking. For my part, a paci definitely was not better than feeding constantly. Having to return the stupid thing to his mouth was a giant pain compared to putting him in a sling and going about my business.
But then this is the internet. People are always looking for a problem that doesn't need solving.
Last edited by Jaded; 01-09-2014 at 08:59 PM..
Reason: Word change
Hmmmm, having worked in child health and obstetrics since the early 1980s as a nurse and midwife I haven't come across these droves of poorly informed nurses. Sure there are a few I have encountered along the way, but they are by far the minority. The negativity to nurses is nothing new, but reflects more upon the critic IMO.
OP I think you are being a wonderful grandmother, talk to your daughter, and continue to offer her support and buffer her from critics.
I don't even think that there was a negativity to nurses in this thread. Just using claim to authority to support bad advice.
I don't even think that there was a negativity to nurses in this thread. Just using claim to authority to support bad advice.
Oh, puh-leez!
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Oy. Then I hope your office has an LC giving decent nursing advice.
In response to me, as if my advice wasn't "decent".
Quote:
Originally Posted by DitsyD
In my experience, two children, pediatric nurses always push formula over breastfeeding. Luckily, there was a lactation expert also on staff that managed to get "No formula, no pacifier" put on the charts.
Why feed formula if the infant's PEDIATRICIAN is satisfied with the baby's weight gain?
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v
Sorry, but the absolute worst advice I got was from nurses and nurse practitioners. While I was able to give my son bottles occasionally at first, it eventually ended breastfeeding for me because I produced less milk when I gave a bottle of formula. Then he developed a total preference for the bottle and refused anything else and it was over. That was about 11 months and I still feel guilty for not making it a little longer. If I hadn't started using formula, I would have, but I went back to work and didn't really have a choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v
If it makes you feel any better, I didn't find "breastfeeding activists" any more helpful than the medical community. It was all just interference, when interference was not needed. I also don't think anyone was anti-bfing, just sort of ignorant, and also a bit prejudiced against older moms.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Yah. That is what the nurse at my pediatrician said too. YOu can guess how well that worked out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas
Not to nurses, necessarily, but to the medical profession in general that took childbirth and breastfeeding out of the hands of the women who had "been there, done that", and, in general, starting handing out advice when they had no idea what they were talking about.
Today there are many medical professionals who are more enlightened about such things, to be sure, but there are still plenty of holdovers from the old times. I know this from talking to people who have recently had babies and they are still being advised to put rice cereal in tiny (a few weeks old) babies' bottles to make them sleep through the night.
And the parents/grandparents say, "They're doing just fine!" Well, wait until they get in their 40s and then see what kind of digestive or weight problems they have, and THEN you can determine if they're doing "just fine!"
How condescending!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliss2
I don't understand why some of you are up in arms that some of us had horrible experiences with some nurses and bad advice. It certainly does happen, and it hurts us. I still remember the utter disappointment I experienced from the professionals that let me down. To them I was just another patient, to me, it was years of emotional pain, like it or not.
I'm not in healthcare, I'm in law enforcement, and while I do a darn good job personally, that's not to say that some people have done wrong and have hurt people or caused fear/mistrust. When that personal experience is met with denial or minimized, all it does is reinforce the shut-up-deal-with-it attitude that people are unfortunately subject to. If I met someone who had been given a bad attitude from a know-it-all cop, the first thing I'd like to think is that they should file a complaint, I'm sorry for such shameful treatment, how can I help you feel better about those who are employed to help and not hurt you/??
Good for you. IME, most people will stick up for their peers, but there are always some who'd like to undercut everyone else. When people complain about "Nurse A" to me, I usually say, "I'm sorry", then get on about MY business with them.
********
FWIW, a lot of the "old wive's tales" around today come from women who had "been there, done that". When I was a public health nurse, it was a constant battle with the new moms to get them NOT to give babies cereal in bottles (at any age), solids at an early age (say, before 4 months), and a lot of other stuff because their support group of moms told them "it's just common sense" that the baby needed that stuff.
In response to me, as if my advice wasn't "decent".
Well, in my opinion, it wasn't. You don't seem to be aware of nipple confusion or bottle preference. That is not good advice. Despite being a nurse, it was bad advice. That is my opinion.
If this is the case, it's more of the radical information about "nipple confusion" and just CRAP like that these poor new moms read about and think actually exists. Give the baby a pacifier if he needs to suck more--but no, pacifiers are EVIL in the minds of all these "experts" on baby care. I know plenty of kids that used pacifiers or "gasp" sucked their thumbs..none of them continue to do so in college however....
Common sense is the best parenting advice anyone can take....one size doesn't fit all and if you have a baby that needs to suck for comfort, a pacifier is better than feeding him constantly...
That may have been YOUR decision with YOUR baby, but if THIS mom doesn't want to use a pacifier and would prefer to comfort nurse, there is certainly nothing wrong with that.
My first baby wouldn't take a pacifier or a bottle - nothing but mama for her. A lot of people were all doomsday about that at the time, but it worked out fine for me. My second child did take a bottle and a pacifier, which was much more convenient for the daycare provider for sure, but I found that I did not want to use them when I was available to supply "the real thing". Personally, I found the pacifier to be a very slippery slope in terms of both my attention to my baby and my milk supply (due to decreased nursing). If baby fussed but would be appeased with a pacifier, I could easily put off attending to her and nursing her. I found myself using this opportunity more frequently, but then regretting it later because I felt like the pacifier allowed me to slip into a type of lazy parenting that I didn't want to be doing. After about a month, I decided that I didn't like the kind of mother I was when a pacifier was an option, so I brought them all to daycare and we no longer used them at home. That was MY choice, based on MY behavior when the pacifier was around. I'm not saying that everyone should make the same choice, but I'm sure there are all sorts of reasons why families do or do not choose to use pacifiers.
If THIS mother has chosen not to use a pacifier, for whatever reason, and chooses to nurse for both nutrition and for comfort, there is no reason to think there is anything wrong with that. Please keep in mind that a pacifier is a plastic substitute for a breast, not the other way around. I'm not sure where you get off saying that a pacifier is "better" than nursing for comfort sucking for anyone other than yourself.
Well, in my opinion, it wasn't. You don't seem to be aware of nipple confusion or bottle preference. That is not good advice. Despite being a nurse, it was bad advice. That is my opinion.
Really? You could tell all that from one post on CD?
We're not talking about a two day old or even two week old baby here; he's two MONTHS old. "The proof of the pudding is in the eating". There are MANY babies who nurse successfully at both breast and bottle. Some have parents who have posted here. Here is a good article on "bottle preference", which also says that nipple confusion is most common in newborns. Low Milk Supply -- Bottles
This article suggests waiting 6 weeks to give a bottle to avoid nipple confusion. Nipple confusion in the breastfed child
Here is another article about nipple confusion: When Supplementation of a Breastfed Newborn Is Medically Necessary - FamilyEducation.com
If breast feeding were the delicate process that can be disrupted by the least little thing as some people on this forum claim it is, society would not have gotten this far. We would have died out.
Really? You could tell all that from one post on CD?
We're not talking about a two day old or even two week old baby here; he's two MONTHS old. "The proof of the pudding is in the eating".
OP if you are still reading and still interested. The proof is not in the feeding. The proof is in
- weight gain
- diapers
- if the baby seems satisfied afterward (though it can be hard to tell whether or not something ELSE is bothering them that this one is often not even mentioned).
I didn't use a pacifier - I tried, actually, but my son wanted no part of it - but I agree that it's about common sense and just knowing what is right for you and your child. Whether its breastfeeding activist experts or medical professionals, it often ends up just interfering with a new mother figuring out for herself what that is. It's also so hard for people to accept that what is right for one person is not the same as what is right for someone else. Everyone wants everything standardized, one size fits all. Because of all that, finding one's personal "compass" with a newborn is so very difficult and often discouraging.
Did you feed your baby 20 minutes out of every hour??
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive
That may have been YOUR decision with YOUR baby, but if THIS mom doesn't want to use a pacifier and would prefer to comfort nurse, there is certainly nothing wrong with that.
My first baby wouldn't take a pacifier or a bottle - nothing but mama for her. A lot of people were all doomsday about that at the time, but it worked out fine for me. My second child did take a bottle and a pacifier, which was much more convenient for the daycare provider for sure, but I found that I did not want to use them when I was available to supply "the real thing". Personally, I found the pacifier to be a very slippery slope in terms of both my attention to my baby and my milk supply (due to decreased nursing). If baby fussed but would be appeased with a pacifier, I could easily put off attending to her and nursing her. I found myself using this opportunity more frequently, but then regretting it later because I felt like the pacifier allowed me to slip into a type of lazy parenting that I didn't want to be doing. After about a month, I decided that I didn't like the kind of mother I was when a pacifier was an option, so I brought them all to daycare and we no longer used them at home. That was MY choice, based on MY behavior when the pacifier was around. I'm not saying that everyone should make the same choice, but I'm sure there are all sorts of reasons why families do or do not choose to use pacifiers.
If THIS mother has chosen not to use a pacifier, for whatever reason, and chooses to nurse for both nutrition and for comfort, there is no reason to think there is anything wrong with that. Please keep in mind that a pacifier is a plastic substitute for a breast, not the other way around. I'm not sure where you get off saying that a pacifier is "better" than nursing for comfort sucking for anyone other than yourself.
Eating around the clock, 20 minutes out of every hour is not healthy for anyone involved....it establishes poor eating habits for the infant and is exhausting for the mother....
Did you feed your baby 20 minutes out of every hour??
Eating around the clock, 20 minutes out of every hour is not healthy for anyone involved....it establishes poor eating habits for the infant and is exhausting for the mother....
My first child was a frequent nurser and there were periods of time when it felt like the only thing she wanted to do was nurse. Twenty minutes out of every hour was common in those early months. Her nursing marathons seemed to coincide with growth spurts. We got through it without any issues. If mom is ok with it, then it is ok.
My first child was a frequent nurser and there were periods of time when it felt like the only thing she wanted to do was nurse. Twenty minutes out of every hour was common in those early months. Her nursing marathons seemed to coincide with growth spurts. We got through it without any issues. If mom is ok with it, then it is ok.
Same here. My daughter went through a period of nursing about every 45 minutes. I asked the doctor about it and he said to give her water in a bottle and make her wait 2 hours between feedings. I tried that once and lasted about 5 minutes.
That pattern didn't last very long and I survived it.
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