Morning routine has become absolute hell (cartoons, baby, clever, children)
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Put her to bed in the clothes she's going to wear the next day. Better happy and wrinkled....
I've thought about this. No one cares if her clothes are wrinkled. Still, it wouldn't address the root issue at hand. It would definitely make things easier though.
The one thing that worked for me is to talk about what's coming up the night before. Both you and your wife should build up your daughter's self-pride, bringing up a compliment someone gave her earlier. Tell her you know she's a big girl that handles her responsibilities well. As a previous poster said, have her lay out her clothes and all her stuff. Walk her through her routine and what is expected of her. (One of my daughters would get very excited about wearing a new barrette, for example. Or perhaps they can bring something special to show classmates - anything to make her more enthusiastic and take the focus off the dreary task of getting ready.)
I often would tell my kids that if they got ready on time, without a fuss, I'd take them for a sundae after school. Or, we would go to the grocery store and let them pick out their favorite ____. These little "bribes" gave them something to focus on and look forward to. Don't worry, it doesn't mean that you'll be stuck rewarding her for expected behavior - you'll see how verbal acknowledgments will soon be enough.
Kids can be temperamental and every now and then they'll slip back into moody morning behavior - it's never perfect.
As a former teacher, I'm afraid we'd have to discuss calling child protective services if someone put on a scene like that in our school. I don't recommend it. It's just too dramatic.
Seriously? It's not abuse, and it's not neglect. There would be absolutely no reason to call CPS.
OP, try some of the other advice. Also, make sure not to put a winter jacket on her with a car seat as it isn't safe.
I have taken my pre-school children to day care partly dressed. It usually only takes twice. After that, if they don't cooperate in the house, they will at least get dressed in the car. Usually, for me, it's carrying them in without shoes. The teachers tell the child "you can't go outside and play if you are barefoot", and the kid puts the shoes right on. (Definitely wrap her in a blanket if you have to).
I also like the idea of offering her more autonomy. My son INSISTED on picking out his own clothes and dressing himself, from the time he was about 11 months old. So I let him. We have the occasional situation where he's wearing shorts, a sweater, and sandals on a cold day, or all his warm clothes at once on a hot day. I just bring a change of clothes to leave in his cubby. Since he is in charge of his clothes on 98% of the days, he is more receptive on the few occasions I make him change (no, you can't wear that shirt that you just pulled out of the dirty clothes basket; no, you can't wear painting clothes to church).
This, too, will pass...it is just very frustrating until then.
As a former teacher, I'm afraid we'd have to discuss calling child protective services if someone put on a scene like that in our school. I don't recommend it. It's just too dramatic.
That type of thing (a child coming in pajamas because they refuse to get dressed) happens a couple times a year at my school in 4K, and sometimes in 5K. However, I wouldn't recommend sending the child to school naked. Normally it only happens once per child and never happens again because the child is so embarrassed.
I had one parent send their child in pajamas wrapped in a blanket for an entire Wisconin winter to my early childhood special education classroom because he refused to get dressed for Mom and especially refused to put on his coat. When he arrived at school we told him one time and he would get completely dressed all by himself including shoes & socks. When it was time to go home he put his coat, hat boots and mittens on totally by himself as soon as we asked him to get ready. Mom was a big "push over". he would say "No" one time and she would give in to him.
Solution-moved their car seat into their room, got them dressed, buckled them into it all. Drug the car seat into the front room, breakfast was buckled in. moved them to car.
Gave them a choice of doing it that way, or going back to the other way. They wanted the other way.
Another suggestion, is when she is all or mostly dressed put on a wide belt buckled in the back or a vest that zips in the back or overalls on backwards or an oversized footed sleeper OVER all of her clothes & shoes. She won't be able to strip before she goes to school and the extra vest, belt, overalls or sleeper can be taken off when she arrives. Get a coat that can be zipped in the back as well.
Some kids just go through a phase where they love to strip.
ugh, Im Mr Mom in the AM for my 2 girls this last 8 years, youngest is 5 now...few things to try is lay out more than one option for her to wear, and let her pick, making her feel as it's her call... and be sure to praise her if she picks.. also need to do rewards if she does good and take away if she is not... their has to be goals and penalty's .. sucks at first but once on track it's smooth sailing... been their done that..
Is her behaviour typical? Can anyone offer any words of wisdom for this situation?
It is for kids who want control. Is she smart? Give her some power (let her pick out her clothes and make decisions.) Some kids just need to have control over what happens to them. Which means you have to yield some of YOUR power.
Tell her, "You're the boss for three days." (Let her know she's grown up enough for a trial period. It does wonders with kids who like control.) "We leave at the same time but you pick out what you wear and how you get ready. Let's see how you do." She might just surprise you.
And make sure she knows you think she's doing a great job if she comes through. Kids who need control are often insecure. The yelling makes it MUCH worse for them because the person they need to make them feel secure is screaming in their face. More power to her. Less for you. (And less for you to worry about in the long run. Win, win.)
Last edited by DewDropInn; 01-29-2014 at 04:57 PM..
I feel your pain.
I often would tell my kids that if they got ready on time, without a fuss, I'd take them for a sundae after school. Or, we would go to the grocery store and let them pick out their favorite ____. These little "bribes" gave them something to focus on and look forward to. Don't worry, it doesn't mean that you'll be stuck rewarding her for expected behavior - you'll see how verbal acknowledgments will soon be enough.
Kids can be temperamental and every now and then they'll slip back into moody morning behavior - it's never perfect.
Yes, bribes worked for us to get through this stage with my son last year - I would tell him that if he got ready quickly he could play with the phone/iPad in the car. Only had to do that for a bit until he got used to it, once getting ready became into a routine he started doing it automatically with no bribes etc. Good luck, I know how annoying that stage is!
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