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My son is 7 yrs old. I received a phone call from his teacher last year in Kindergarten that some toys were missing from her classroom. I questioned my 5 yr old at the time and he told the truth. I made him write a apology letter to his teacher (which was very difficult for him). He returned the toys and gave her the letter he had wrote. That was the 1st time. Since then, he is now 7, I have caught him stealing 5 other times. I have served every punishment I could possibly think of. Writing "I will not steal" over 50 times, taking the items back to the store and telling the manager that he stole it and make him pay for the item he stole. Grounding him from any outside/ inside activities. My final resort of spanking him. It made me cry worse than him. I do not take spanking a child lightly.
Yesterday I was just beside myself when I realized he had stolen $4.25 from his Jump Rope for Heart Fundraiser. What is there left to do! I feel like I've tried EVERYTHING! I was so upset I sent him to my sister's to work off her $1.20 donation, and give myself a moment to think and calm down.
Feeling like I had no other options, and this behavior must be dealt with now while he is still young, I called the Sheriff's Office and asked if a deputy could come and scare the living daylights out of him.
After he was done working at my sister's house he came home and started acting like nothing had happened. I sat back and prepared dinner not saying a word. 10 minuets go by and we hear a knock a the door. I let the officer in, and I swear I felt his heart drop to the floor.
My heart has never ached so badly, watching him cry and being absolutely terrified. I'm hoping I did the right thing, and he will never steal again.
I don't know what I'd do in that situation, and I don't know if what you did was the right thing, but I like it, once your son sees the consequences of his action and that he could get into real trouble it may set him straight. Of course you'll hear form those that never discipline their children but I commend you for taking that step.
Yes I have, and the answer he gives me and the officer that asked him why he was stealing, He doesn't know. The officer told him that wasn't a good enough answer. He hasn't come up with any new answers. I have spanked him, and the officer told him that when he was kid he would have been beaten. I was beaten as a child, and know what its like to be a defenseless person. That is not the answer.
Last edited by Concerned Aunt 936; 03-05-2014 at 11:00 AM..
Reason: add to post
Yes I have, and the answer he gives me and the officer that asked him why he was stealing, He doesn't know. The officer told him that wasn't a good enough answer. He hasn't come up with any new answers. I have spanked him, and the officer told him that when he was kid he would have been beaten. I was beaten as a child, and know what its like to be a defenseless person. That is not the answer.
You are right, beating him will only teach him to hide it more and develop better sneaking skills. If he can't verbalize a reason....try to ask him leading questions...'Do you feel powerful when you take something?' 'Are you trying to hurt the person you are stealing from?'...that sort of thing...help him figure it out. He might not really yet have the vocabulary to put his feelings into words.
You seem to be doing all the things that make sense and you are certainly not ignoring it...so don't feel bad.
One thing I might suggest is that the next time you are in a place with him that he might steal things, make him stay at your side...as it RIGHT at your side...and he must have his hands in his pockets the full time. Explain to him why..tell him you can't trust him...and let him know until her re-earns your trust his choices are going to be limited.
Best of luck to you. It seems that you are being very proactive and doing the right thing.
Agree with you. The beat down is not the answer. We've used corporal punishment in the past and it really didn't accomplish anything. The behavior continued.
I do understand what you are going through. My daughter has had issues with stealing, lying and overall honesty from a very early age. She is now 14. We are making some progress. This summer while at Six Flags, she found a wallet with $300 on one of the rides. She could have easily pocketed the money but turned it in to a ride attendant. There is hope and I was proud of her. The stealing has stopped although we still have to work on honestly and keep on top of things. For awhile, she was helping herself to the lost and found at school. We would have her return the items to the front office and go through the public humiliation of being caught.
If this continues though, perhaps look into some therapy for your son. Try to get to the root of the problem and nip it in the bud.
He seems to have impulse issues. He must have it so he takes it. At his age its fairly normal.
What is his favorite toy? Ask him how would he feel if one day he couldnt find it because someone took it? He should say he would be sad. Then tell him that is how others feel when he takes thier favorite toy, item or money.
If hes stealing because he wants to have something give him chores to earn money around the house. Have him put half what he earns in a piggy bank and the other half he can spend on anything he wants. Show him how if he saves up he gets more stuff. The part he saves... He needs to be the one putting the monry into the piggy bank right after he earns it.
At his age chores can be as small as bringing his clothes to the washer, putting clothes away, helping with dishes, sweeping up. Vacuuming etc.
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