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I would welcome it. It shows them adapting to their environment and maximizing whatever skills they have. It's not for me and it's not my choice. I would however encourage them to go in 100% and hopefully they did learn that a job worth doing is worth doing well. Maybe they could even get a little kaching for dad!
It was beyond sad. There was no suing involve. It was a live-and-learn situation. But he didn't date for years after that. Which actually worked out as he focused on getting his degree and moving on with his life. But he is a great guy and this took a piece of his heart. He felt like such a chump.
She, however, married a well-to-do fellow within the year and posts on facebook about being happy as a clam. I haven't seen any posts for some time now. Either I've been defriended or her life has taken a turn for the worse.
I think the wives putting husbands through medical/graduate/law school then getting dumped happens more often than we think. With no fault divorces and alimony being seen as gold-digging, often the wife is left high and dry. Whatever financial compensation she gets doesn't make up for the years she's lost when she could have been getting an education herself.
Did your son realize he had a right to a percentage of her projected lifetime income? A professional degree obtained during marriage is considered a marital asset if the divorce occurs shortly after education is completed. All states aren't the same, but many states do recognize this is a common problem. It happened to my sister. She supported her husband until he received his his doctorate. He divorce her soon after, but they agreed upon a settlement that included monthly payments. It wasn't alimony and they had no children. It was a financial settlement for her supporting and providing him with his professional degree.
My friend's brother is doing this now. He is supporting his high school sweetheart through medical school. I hope they stay married afterwards.
Alternately, I know someone who purposely support people's educations to collect a percentage of income later. My cousin married a woman who insisted she put him through college. She had put 2 previous husbands through college. Later he found out she was receiving a percentage of their income as a result. When he finished college, she divorced him, took him to court and ended up getting a percentage of his income. As of then, she was collecting payments from 3 ex-husbands due to settlements for their professional degrees. Who knows how many men she has married and put through college since. She's got a little scam going there.
...Hopes...A professional degree obtained during marriage is considered a marital asset if the divorce occurs shortly after education is completed.....snipped...
Well, I'm a college student and I can say I know how to get a sugar daddy. Quite frankly, if I had student loan debt, I'd probably get one. I've considered it because there are a few things sitting in my Nordstrom online shopping bag that I'd like to get. I know of a few classmates who have a sugar daddy. Some have sex with them and some don't.
And if you find sex between a 20-something and an older gentleman is disgusting, you're in over your head.
This whole arrangement sounds like the world's oldest profession to me.
A prostitute is still a prostitute even if she has only one client.
I would not have a problem with my grown child having a relationship with someone older than herself, if it was an actual relationship and not a transaction.
I wouldn't disown my kid over something like this either, we'd talk about protection and reputations and things like that and if she were truly approaching it as an adult and had thought it out carefully, I'd let it drop...and be there for her when things got messy.
Would everyone feel the same if it was the same significant age difference and the older spouse wasn't wealthy?
It's not the age difference, it's the motivation.
For my child to seek out someone for the specific purpose of exchanging sexual favors for extravagant gifts and vacations, or jewelry, or fancy wheels, or expensive clothes, or whatever other frivolous perks they were after, would mean to me that I'd failed immeasurably in guiding her to live a life of value and self respect.
I would be devastated.
Being in a bona fide relationship where one helps the other through school is not the same thing IMO. Likewise, actually being in love and having a relationship with an older partner.
I'm not sure that being married is usually part of the sugar daddy scenario, in fact a lot of sugar daddies are already married. Which brings up a whole other reason I wouldn't be "ok" with it, per the OP.
Most importantly, it doesn't bode well for the recipient in the long run. Eventually one will have to sleep at night with a clear conscience. It borders on sociopathic behavior IMO.
For my child to seek out someone for the specific purpose of exchanging sexual favors for extravagant gifts and vacations, or jewelry, or fancy wheels, or expensive clothes, or whatever other frivolous perks they were after, would mean to me that I'd failed immeasurably in guiding her to live a life of value and self respect.
I would be devastated.
Being in a bona fide relationship where one helps the other through school is not the same thing IMO. Likewise, actually being in love and having a relationship with an older partner.
I'm not sure that being married is usually part of the sugar daddy scenario, in fact a lot of sugar daddies are already married. Which brings up a whole other reason I wouldn't be "ok" with it, per the OP.
Most importantly, it doesn't bode well for the recipient in the long run. Eventually one will have to sleep at night with a clear conscience. It borders on sociopathic behavior IMO.
So you'd be fine if they were truly in love and your child still pursued school and a career. What if the older partner was filthy rich and there was no need to work? What if they preferred for your child to not have a career so they could travel extensively? What about being a SAHM or simply a SAH wife or husband who managed the staffs of the properties owned, like many wealth wives do? It sounds like you'd be fine as long as you were certain your child was truly and utterly head over heels in love and didn't have ulterior motive.
I'm not sure. But isn't it really the basis behind most marriages? We agree to be together, have sex, and I in turn will support you?
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