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What about this do you not get? Her son is doing exactly that - respecting her wishes. He's not sharing a bed with his gf in OP's house. That he's not staying at her place at all isn't a sign of disrespect.
Did I say he disrespected her? Why do you keep putting words into my posts? The point is she shouldn't change her convictions or moral code for the sake of getting along, but she's going to have accept the consequences of doing so.
So its sheltering to encourage your children not to have premarital sex? Again this is one reason why children out of wedlock is much more prevalent then it was a few decades ago.
How is allowing a 26 year old with a long term, live-in GF to sleep in the same room "encouraging" the children?
Personally I think he's being passive aggressive and he knows where his parents stand and I'm pretty sure he knew this before he decided to shack up with his girlfriend.
Once again, the term "passive-aggressive" does mean a person refuses to go along with someone else's demands.
"Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, sarcasm, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible."
The son is not expressing hostility indirectly, procrastinating, failing to accomplish tasks for which he is responsible... None of this.
Mom said he can only spend the night if the girlfriend sleeps in a separate room. Son says no thank you.
By pretty much saying its okay despite what the parent has been teaching them.
No, all it says is "your brother is an adult and makes his own decisions. This doesn't make it ok for you teenagers." She could even say exactly that. 26 is not 16.
By pretty much saying its okay despite what the parent has been teaching them.
It is obvious that your morals are in line with the OP's. What if it wasn't so cut and dry for you? What if the GF was Christian and the OP's family was Muslim, and the OP believed that all women needed to cover their heads. Should the OP be able to make the GF cover her head in her house? What would it say to the children if she didn't?
Once again, the term "passive-aggressive" does mean a person refuses to go along with someone else's demands.
"Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, sarcasm, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible."
The son is not expressing hostility indirectly, procrastinating, failing to accomplish tasks for which he is responsible... None of this.
Mom said he can only spend the night if the girlfriend sleeps in a separate room. Son says no thank you.
Nothing passive aggressive about this.
Agreed. He is being very clear that he does not wish to follow this particular rule, and he is being respectful of the rule by not staying there.
IMHO, passive-aggressive would be agreeing to his parents rules, sneaking his girlfriend into his room after everyone is in bed, and making sure his parents are....um....very aware that she's there.
It is obvious that your morals are in line with the OP's. What if it wasn't so cut and dry for you? What if the GF was Christian and the OP's family was Muslim, and the OP believed that all women needed to cover their heads. Should the OP be able to make the GF cover her head in her house? What would it say to the children if she didn't?
If that's her house and her rules, then yes. But as I said before the OP would have to deal with the consequences.
It is obvious that your morals are in line with the OP's. What if it wasn't so cut and dry for you? What if the GF was Christian and the OP's family was Muslim, and the OP believed that all women needed to cover their heads. Should the OP be able to make the GF cover her head in her house? What would it say to the children if she didn't?
One doesn't even need to go that far so as to present an alternative reality here - what if the mum was visiting the son instead? Would she expect the gf to hoof it to the couch for the duration of time of her visit?
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