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Never thought of it that way lurtsman. How is anyone to know they won't have some major catastrophe and eventually rely on government assistance?
Another reason for her not to waive arrears.
They don't know, which is a major reason to do the best we can to save up and be ready for it. If she had a couple million in the bank, she would have a very strong safety net against bad things happening. It doesn't sound like she has much of a safety net though. If she does everything in her power to take care of herself and her kids and still needs a government hand out, I have no problem with my tax dollars supporting that. IMO, she should make sure she gets the money she earned first, and then if things go poorly, anyone who has no sympathy is an ***hole. It just isn't feasible for her to be doing her best to watch out for her future self while also allowing this man to skip out on his debts.
It makes me sick when custodial parents say this. My girlfriend used to say it all the time about her child support, which was pretty substantial. The noncustodial parent's child support is not intended to fully support the children. BOTH parents are supposed to be supporting the children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I'm a female. My girlfriend was just that---a girlfriend. Not a romantic relationship.
Sorry, I misread your post and thought that it was your (ex) girlfriend that was complaining about your substantial child support payments (which confused me because I had thought that you were a woman).
My brother, who is retired, kept noticing this younger man who was often at the public library during the day when my brother was there. One day my brother decided to talk to him and the man explained that he used to be an executive making a huge salary, but his wife divorced him and the day that the courts awarded child support (forhis three children) he quit his job and was now basically homeless by choice (that was why he was in the library so often). He told my brother that he would never get another legitimate job (but often accepted cash for odd & short term jobs) thus he "would never have to pay his wife child support".
.
This is an urban myth. My Uncle, is a family court judge. Every single day he tells deadbeat dads that if they don't get a job, they will go to jail. He doesn't calculate child support by current salary but by income tax returns from the past five years and W2s from employers. He subpoenas from employers all time. Even the fathers who were legitimately unemployed had to get a job, pay support, or go to jail. Again this is calculated by their earning potential.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli
Oh I wasn't aware that retirement means you spend all your time in a library LOL. Probably closer to the truth is that this is yet ANOTHER urban myth and the conversation with this mythical man in the library never happened -- it just makes this story sound "better". LOL
The state went after my ex-husband and we agreed to a lump sum of 1/2 of what he owed because that was cash in hand and our son was ready to go to college and that allowed for him to have a second hand car to take to college which otherwise, we couldn't have done. At one point, my ex told me he was going to marry a woman with two young children and she wanted me to sign paperwork saying that I would never try to collect child support for our son from him. I didn't sign. She wouldn't marry him. Everyone came up short when the father didn't pay the child support so the mother owes the children and herself to collect his money. Could he be threatening violence and revenge if she doesn't let him out of his legal obligations? They do that sometimes. That and sob stories, oh poor law-breaking irresponsible father.
I have a friend with two children. Both are over 18. My friends ex was court ordered to pay child support after their divorce but only paid for a year or two. (Should have paid for 10-11 years)
The ex's employer has recently been served with orders to garnish wages. The ex has asked my friend to agree to terminate child support since the kids are past child support age.
I said 'No way!'. My friend struggled for many years raising the kids as a single parent. I suggested that the payments be put in savings for the kids or retirement for my friend.
Just seems crazy to me to waive the support that should have been paid all those years. Any thoughts?
She covered his share all those years, that money is hers. She should collect.
This is an urban myth. My Uncle, is a family court judge. Every single day he tells deadbeat dads that if they don't get a job, they will go to jail. He doesn't calculate child support by current salary but by income tax returns from the past five years and W2s from employers. He subpoenas from employers all time. Even the fathers who were legitimately unemployed had to get a job, pay support, or go to jail. Again this is calculated by their earning potential.
Yes, this story really couldn't happen.
I have a friend with an ex who did exactly what germaine2626 described. He never went to jail. I doubt he is the only one who gets away with it.
I have a friend with an ex who did exactly what germaine2626 described. He never went to jail. I doubt he is the only one who gets away with it.
I am sure there are plenty of deadbeats that get away with not paying child support. I hope the custodial parents will fight for child support as it is important for the child to have the support of both parents and the child deserves it! Too bad some parents think otherwise. Being a single parent is hard but it is really hard when the other parent doesn't pay support.
I do believe that what goes around... eventually comes around.
At one point, my ex told me he was going to marry a woman with two young children and she wanted me to sign paperwork saying that I would never try to collect child support for our son from him. I didn't sign. She wouldn't marry him.
It's so common for stepmothers to not want their spouses paying child support. It's mindboggling how women can have children and want to short change their spouses other children. She had some nerve wanting this settled before the wedding, especially since I'm sure she was collecting child support for her two children. Talk about being upfront about being a gold digger. I know your ex isn't a catch, but I think you are all lucky he didn't marry someone like her. It's bad enough he didn't pay child support, but imagine how much worse it would have been if she had been your children's stepmother.
I do believe that what goes around... eventually comes around.
I've seen some sweet justice in this regard. Most recently, my girlfriend's ex hid all of his income and had the child support dropped from over 2k to $68/month. He owned a business he built during his first marriage, and his second wife helped him hide is income via putting all of his assets and his business in her name. She later divorced him and he had NOTHING. Not just not having a penny, he had no job since she stole the business from him. His first wife took great pleasure in this because he deserved it. Granted, she probably wouldn't have been happy if she was still getting 2k/month, but it was easy to enjoy his suffering since she was only losing $68/month.
I've seen some sweet justice in this regard. Most recently, my girlfriend's ex hid all of his income and had the child support dropped from over 2k to $68/month. He owned a business hebuilt during his first marriage, and his second wife helped him hide is income via putting all of his assets and his business in her name. She later divorced him and he had NOTHING. Not just not having a penny, he had no job since she stole the business from him. His first wife took great pleasure in this because he deserved it. Granted, she probably wouldn't have been happy if she was still getting 2k/month, but it was easy to enjoy his suffering since she was only losing $68/month.
I know that it is bad of me but I laughed out loud!
It is something like the comeuppance of the second wife who had an affair with her current husband when he was married to his first wife and now he has an affair with a third woman while he is married to her.
Sometimes Karma really works.
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