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I would let a kid go in a small group, but I would stay at the mall and make them check in with me every hour or so...assuming the "element" at the mall was OK.
This brings back memories. When I was around 13 or 14, my girlfriends and I always went to the mall to hang out. We went there to look for clothes, smoke cigarettes, and meet boys. I laugh about it now. We were so interested in boys back then and always looking for ways to meet them!
But I don't think I'd let my kids hang out alone at the mall until they were 15 at least, unless there was a parent nearby.
I think it depends on your childs maturity level and how long you plan on leaving them there...however I would not be comfortable doing so till about age 16 in a group situation.
My daughter has asked several times to go with her friends. She is only allowed to go if one of the parents is staying in the mall. (I know most of her friends parents). She is a great kid. Doesn't get in to any trouble other then the 14 year old attitude. She asks me why she can't go...the answer is simple...you have no money...you have no supervision....there are crazy people there...and BECAUSE I SAID SO. She also likes to go to the movies with her friends. This is ok with me as long as there are 4 of them. that way no one is ever left alone.
A situation I just ran into yesterday with her was she had a game to cheer at at 5:00. She wanted to just stay after and then go to the game at 5. I asked her what she was going to do for 2 .5 hours and she said "I dunno, walk around". Simple. The answer is NO. You are not going to just walk around school for 2.5 hours! Later on (after the crying about how mean I am) she came to me and gave me a detailed list of things her and her friend do while waiting for the games to start LOL. So, needless to say, the explanation of what she'd being doing was good enough for me so she was able to stay.
Parents (mothers especially) need to go with their gut. Its the most valuable tool IMO.
I was wondering how many parents drop their kids off at the mall. My daughter's 12 and 13 year old friends are dropped off to "hang out". The parents either leave the mall or go to the food court for awhile to wait. I am not comfortable doing this and feel like an overprotective parent, but I know that there are scary people lurking around these places. Plus, many of the kids that I see there are loud and obnoxious when there is no parent present. Thanks!
My mom wouldn't let me go to the mall with friends without supervision until I was 16. At the time, I thought she was being overprotective, but I can understand why she wanted to be there (there are a lot of creepies out there).
My daughters will be 11 soon. NO WAY would I let them go. I just recently let them go to a different store than me at the mall. Only one store, in 20 minutes meet me right back here. It was hard, but they did good. I don't think kids are really mature enough to make the best choices or know how to handle a confrontation with a pervert until they are older. Even then I don't know. Just last summer a 17 or 18 year old was pushed into her own car at Target and found 2 days later dead.
I'm still teaching them what to do in different situations. When I'm confident they know what to do we'll think about it. Probably when they are 14 or 15.
She just went to the movies with her 3 girlfriends. The parents were seeing another movie. I asked what she would do if someone (adult or older teen) was trying to talk to them while they were sitting waiting for the parents movie to end (it was 1/2 hr. longer). She had no idea. We talked about it before she could go to the movie. We need to prepair them for things that could happen before we let them go without us!
You are so right that we have to prepare them the best that we can for different situations. I try to explain to my kids how scary the world is with people who are not mentally balanced, but I am not sure that they totally get it. They are just not old enough (and they don't watch all the news that I do). There is so much potential for things to happen at a mall. For example, the shootings that have happened recently. Now, we get to worry about our kids at school and at the mall! I agree that the movie situation of kids seeing a different movie than the adult is fine as long as the kids stay in plain view of people who work there until the adult's movie is over. And also not to talk to strangers.
It seems like yesterday that I was just explaining to my kids about adults who try to lure kids with looking for a puppy that doesn't exist. They grow up so fast and it seems like the dangers increase every year! Especially when they start getting more independent.
It sounds like there are some great parents on this board. Thanks for all your feedback. It makes me feel better that I am not being overprotective, but more along the lines of cautious.
i am a 12 year old and i always want to go to the movies or something like that, but im not aloud 2 because im too young,but all my friends/people at my school do, they dont do anything at the movies because, well, its the movies and there really is no place to kiss or anything like that, they do that at the ymca, or some place like that, if you can tell ur child is responsible enough and wouldnt do anything bad, and if u have had "the talk" w/ them then let them have some freedom, but if your kids go out alot at 12-14 then more than likely they are the sluts at the school........be protective but dont let them go out 2-7 days a week.
I think if you have raised your kids to be safe and self-controlled at the mall, they will be safe and self-controlled at the mall. Not every kid is cut out to be a hell-raiser. Be sure you are comfortable with what you know about your kid's companion at the mall. Let her know that you are going to be staying at the mall, and you plan to sneak around and see if she is doing anything wrong. Try on clothes, or go to the bookstore and start a good book. If she passes the test a few times, let her go alone.
The worst that can happen is that she will meet some less savory classmates there and succumb to peer pressure. Check all her belongings afterwards for anything that might have been shoplifted, that's a rite of passage. Rent the movie "Thirteen" and watch it together.
She is not going to be shot, she is not going to be raped. She can deal with a$$holes speaking to her in disrespectful ways. Can't she?
If I knew my kid would behave, then yes I would. I would also call to check up on her or have her call me.
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The mall and movies
