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I thought I had... What else do you consider to be pertinent?
No, you keep dropping bombs with each new post.
There is obviously WAY more going on here than we can help with. You really need to find a family therapist. You are her mom, and you are obligated to do what you can to help her.
She doesn't seem to be that serious anymore, from what the therapist and I can see. Why would I get her admitted somewhere? Also what do you mean by "she doesn't see it as abuse at this time"?
Ok, if she's not serious about suicide now then don't have her admitted anywhere.
I was responding to where you said this...
Quote:
I asked her therapist and she told me that she sees signs of possible abuse, but my daughter doesn't believe she has been.
Ok, you said you 'know' she's not sexually active - you don't really know that without a doctors exam -
There's not an 8 year old boy on the planet that hasn't been interested in a woman's breast... I'm sure his forearm, as mine did, gets a work out. I looked at dad's hidden playboy's - he's one up on me in that he got the live version....
Your daughter's doctor broke the law when they told you what she told them. Doctor / Patient stuff - which to me, is crazy...
Let it go. If you and your daughter talk about this, let her know that her body is hers, and nobody has the right to do anything to it without her fully wanting it done - and when she is of age. I'm sure she's very aware of the birds and the bees - but you can't over educate our youth - or else our babies are having babies....
To those who are saying the therapist broke the law when telling Mom...
In spite of Tumf's "attaboy" fantasies, the boy was sexually abused in this situation, and in many states therapists are required by law to report abuse. The therapist may have committed an ethical violation by circumventing law enforcement and thinking that telling Mom would get something done without involving the gov't.
Part of me -- the daughter's mom part -- says to leave it alone and simply treat it as an episode of childish sexual exploration. At this point, I'm sure she understands that it is inappropriate and wouldn't do it again.
The other part of me -- the son's mom part -- would want to know. I think. 8 years old is too young, in my world, to be invited to be touching girl's breasts. I think I would want to know simply to be aware of it and be on the lookout for any other behaviors that might indicate a kid with an unhealthy age-inappropriate interest in sex.
LanaMomtana, as a Christian myself, please let me gently remind you that "God helps those who help themselves." Get yourself into family therapy, and if she doesn't want to go, too darn bad, she's going anyway. Consider how your own attitudes towards gays may be adversely affecting your daughter, who certainly seems to be struggling with her sexual identity. The suicide attempt was, I'm sure, a frightening and sobering episode for you.
To those who are saying the therapist broke the law when telling Mom...
In spite of Tumf's "attaboy" fantasies, the boy was sexually abused in this situation, and in many states therapists are required by law to report abuse. The therapist may have committed an ethical violation by circumventing law enforcement and thinking that telling Mom would get something done without involving the gov't.
Either way, it's FUBAR.
This. The daughter molested the 8 year old. That is serious.
If that boy was my kid and I found out some other adult knew what happened to him and never told me, I'd go ballistic.
OP the therapist put you in an impossible spot because I know your instinct is to protect your daughter, especially if she was recently suicidal. But that boy needs help. How do you know what kind of warped views about sex and women's bodies he has now? How do you know, God forbid, what he's doing to other little girls as we speak, or what he will do in the near future? How do you know how he feels about himself? What if he's suicidal soon?
You HAVE to do something. If you need to see the therapist to figure out to prepare your daughter, or just the best possible way to proceed, then do so ASAP. But you HAVE to tell that boy's parents soon, no matter how hard it is IMO. You have to.
I feel so sorry for everyone in this situation. Family therapy may be important.
Sadly, I believe this sort of stuff happens between children much more often than we want to believe. I was made aware of a situation of people I know well just recently. It came out when the perpetrator "confessed" to a friend something that took place years before, the friend told a parent, and CPS got involved 6 years after the fact. It was a horror show for all.
Good luck OP. I hope you get the guidance you need.
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