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Hi!
I am working on a COMM narrative project about emerging adult's (ages18-25) experience with parenting. Emerging Adult research shows that individuals ages 18-25 are increasingly delaying marriage and procreation.**However, many young people become parents and their voices are often lost in research on parenting. Therefore I am working on understanding the unique position of parenting at such age. If anyone is willing to share their story/experience I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
I had my first child when I was 23. We had been married for 5 years and had both been working full-time since we were 18, so we didn't feel especially young to be starting our family. My sister is pregnant with her first child now...she's 34 and her husband is 40. To me, that feels stranger, to wait that long to start a family.
I had my first child when I was 23. We had been married for 5 years and had both been working full-time since we were 18, so we didn't feel especially young to be starting our family. My sister is pregnant with her first child now...she's 34 and her husband is 40. To me, that feels stranger, to wait that long to start a family.
Hello thank you for your story could you please expound on your experience from marrying at (18?) (math---5years before 23)and having a child at 23. you can share as much as you would like. please feel free to send it as a direct message if you want . Again thank you
There's not a lot to really tell...I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 21. He was estranged from his family and my family was not happy about me getting married, because they wanted me to stay at home and take care of the house and my youngest sister, who was 7 at the time. Neither family had anything to do with us for a while.
When I was 21, we started trying to have a baby, but I had two miscarriages, probably because I was working 80 hours a week as a store manager. I got a job that wasn't as demanding, and then I got pregnant again. Our daughter was a preemie. I went back to work when she was 6 months old. My husband and I worked opposite shifts so that we didn't have to pay for daycare.
I got pregnant again when I was 26. I had to stop working when I was 6 months pregnant. My husband got a second full-time job. I stayed home with the kids. Eventually, he got a job that paid better so that he only had to work one job. My kids are 9 and 12 now.
There's not a lot to really tell...I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 21. He was estranged from his family and my family was not happy about me getting married, because they wanted me to stay at home and take care of the house and my youngest sister, who was 7 at the time. Neither family had anything to do with us for a while.
When I was 21, we started trying to have a baby, but I had two miscarriages, probably because I was working 80 hours a week as a store manager. I got a job that wasn't as demanding, and then I got pregnant again. Our daughter was a preemie. I went back to work when she was 6 months old. My husband and I worked opposite shifts so that we didn't have to pay for daycare.
I got pregnant again when I was 26. I had to stop working when I was 6 months pregnant. My husband got a second full-time job. I stayed home with the kids. Eventually, he got a job that paid better so that he only had to work one job. My kids are 9 and 12 now.
That is a lot to go through. How do you manage to make it all work: parenting, marriage, working?
That is a lot to go through. How do you manage to make it all work: parenting, marriage, working?
He works, I take care of the house and the kids. The kids go to online school, so they're home all day. We've thought about putting them back in regular school so I could go back to work, but online school works very well for them and we manage on one income for now. I've gotten really good at lots of things that make our home more comfortable...cooking, sewing, home repairs, yard work, cutting hair, etc. Pretty much if we need something, I learn to do it. I even fix cars and appliances in a pinch
As far as the marriage, I've been married to him 17 years, almost half my life. It's one of those things that gets easier with time. We've gone through some rocky times before...everybody does. But for those times that are rough, there are usually very good times to balance it out, and it's good to know we have each other no matter what happens.
I had my first when I was 25 and DH was 31, after we'd been married for almost 5 years. DH and I hadn't planned on starting a family at that time...to be honest, I didn't really like kids all that much. We agreed that we'd wait until we built a house (we lived in a mobile home on 5 acres of land), our business was well established, and of course not until we had a LOT of money in the bank. The hope was that I would not have to work until the child was old enough for preschool. In the interim of my pregnancy, we had financial trouble with the business and it eventually closed. I found a job when DD was 3 months old, and went back to work. Luckily, we had a GREAT babysitter who treated her like her own. There were times when we alternated our schedules...DH worked night shift, and I worked evening or day shift. I worked a lot of weekends at the time, and DD spent them at my parents' house. We were lucky we had supportive family close by. She was the only grandchild on my side, and they loved having her.
There were times when DH had to take her to work (he worked night shift at Dunkin Donuts) when our schedules overlapped. I worked 3:00 p.m. until midnight, and he started his shift at 11:00. Taking a two-year-old to Dunkin Donuts in the middle of the night wasn't the best parenting, I'll admit. I'd pick her up after I got off work, to find her sitting there in a booth eating a donut and drinking chocolate milk. She loved being at Dunkin Donuts, and was no problem, except she once accidentally sat in a bucket of donut glaze.
For the first five years of our marriage, we'd been very careful to avoid pregnancy. It took us by total surprise. Looking back, I don't see it as an "accident"...it was a miracle. Oldest DD was the perfect child in every way...intelligent, well behaved, a total joy. Years later, we tried to have a second child, with two miscarriages. My youngest was born when I was 31. My oldest was 6 at the time.
My oldest DD married at 23 and gave birth to our grandson when she was 27, so she waited a bit longer than her dad and I did, only because she and her DH had fertility issues...she would have liked to become pregnant sooner.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 11-22-2014 at 04:29 AM..
DH and I married when I was 18, he was 19. Our first child was born when I was 24, DH was 25. We later adopted our daughter when I was 30. My husband was (still is) in the military, and we had been on our own for awhile so we were more than ready to be parents. It didn't then, and doesn't now, feel like we started at a young age. We were very mature for our ages (we were both first born kids from bigger families) so I think that shaped our good start. We never struggled financially, I stayed home with the children for the most part and really we did this all without any family around since we were always on the move. We have been married for nearly 19 years now. Maybe my story is an exception, but I don't feel like our ages were an issue at all. Really, you should change your research on how having kids before establishing your career impacts your life. That's the real story and most likely why people are delaying having children.
My husband and I had our first child at 22....she wasn't planned, but wasn't really an accident either. We had another child at 24, another at 26, and our last at 30. I have been a SAHM the whole time. Our 2nd child has a lot of special needs, and required surgery and therapies for what we later discovered was autism.
I'm not gonna lie...it was hard. There was never enough money, but we did the best we could. If I had it to do over again I would have waited to have children. I feel like I went from being a child to being a parent, and never really had time to experience being an adult without responsibilities. I love my kids, wanted them young, and I think having kids is a young person's game (I am 40 now and I don't think I could handle the newborn stage all over again). But I look back now and see that I missed out on a lot. It's been rough on my marriage as well.
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