Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't understand how the thread title "interracial parenting issue" applies. I mean, the OP makes the situation sound F'd up and weird but nothing racial stands out.
So, the dad is focusing his life on the newly adopted child? This isn't at all unusual. Moms are often guilty of it too--even with biological children. Race and adoption really don't have much to do with it, except that this is a sudden addition to their family and she is at a fun age that the dad can fully embrace a two-way relationship with. Mom leaving can't be just because of this--was probably just the last straw--and mom may be having difficulty adjusting to her role/feelings/attachment issues. The parents need to rebuild their relationship--counseling is necessary.
Recommend that she try counseling--even if it just her alone at first. Since this is a coworker and not a close friend, I'd stay out of the details of it, but do encourage her to rebuild the life she was working so hard to build.
Honestly to me, it sounds more that yes the coworker is jealous, but perhaps just a thought: also very disappointed that she hasn't transcended into motherhood as she had hoped. And now she has to watch her husband transcend into fatherhood, which increases her insecurity.
^^This is exactly what is sounds like. If anything the mother in this situation sounds a bit off.
Mom sounds like she may be depressed, he signs fall pretty in line with the warning signs of post partum depression. If she in fact, is not depressed then there is certainly jealousy and there were probably some issues prior to the actual adoption.
Mom may also feel unprepared, women who have their own kids often bond with the child through pregnancy and grow closer as they have to for feeding and taking care of the baby, while at 2 the baby is still a baby- she doesn't NEED mom there all the time. Maybe she feels, in a way, useless?
these people need to see professional people to deal with post adoption stress her agency should be able to direct them. Nothing particularly racial about this situation. Same things happen in bio births too. But again stay out of this. You are not a professional capable to offering her good advice except to see REAL help.
The white father realizes he's raising a black daughter and is doing everything he can to be the best dad he can be. The white mother was in love with the idea of having a child but not the reality. She probably feels overwhelmed and resents her husband for not feeling the same way.
It's similar to women that dream of a fancy wedding but don't consider that little part called "marriage" after the wedding.
He speaks about her in such lovingly and affectionate terms (this is my 'little lady'). At Christmas he called her "his world" and how much she "changed him". To me these should be phrases used in conjunction with your wife.
I feel he's being inappropriate as heck with his "adult-like" affection for this child.
In short I think the two issues are:
Extremely misplaced, adult affection between father and daughter
First it is strange that because he calls the little girl "his world" & such that you think it is
"inappropriate as heck adult like affection"
Also you are playing a dangerous game of "Psychologist"
to decide this is "extremely" misplaced affection...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
