parenting styles conflict - attachment parenting theory.

[Stagemomma]

Originally Posted by dad2015

I was always under the impression that a child would bond me even further with my wife but lately I feel we've grown apart due to conflicting ideas of what good parenting consists of.

My wife is a strong believer in the theory of 'attachment parenting' she's read countless books on the subject and claims it's scientifically supported by studies.
While I admittedly haven't read any of the books she's read I feel like some of the aspects of it, can't possibly work the same for every child.
My wife cannot bring herself to hearing our 2 yr old daughter cry for any reason.
She's been co-sleeping with us in our bed since she was 3 months and although my wife tries to put her to sleep on her own crib now, 4 out of 7 nights she still ends up sleeping with us. This aspect has, I feel, taken a toll in our sexual lives and our quality of sleep.
I'm by no means a flawless father myself, so I won't pretend that all our problems are because of her parenting style. I just feel our constant arguments over our child's upbringing is taking a heavy toll on our relationship.

This might sound selfish but I also feel somewhat left out by the mother-child bonding. Our child isn't even as interested in me as she's in her mother.

I was that mom. My husband could have written your post. I wish I could tell you what to do but I don't know. I do know that I was unaware just how left out my husband felt. He drifted further away from me and our family until he broke it entirely.

You could probably pick up a couple of those books and see what they say about remaining bonded to your spouse and how to keep that sex life going. It is very likely your wife just doesn't care much about sex right now. Maybe you could find some ways to help her feel that again.

I don't think attachment parenting was the cause, but my youngest had severe anxiety and couldn't fall sleep by herself for years.

[blistex649]

Originally Posted by Stagemomma

I don't think attachment parenting was the cause, but my youngest had severe anxiety and couldn't fall sleep by herself for years.

That's so mean. Why would you set her up for that, and allow her at all to fall sleep on her own? You should have slept with her until she initiated when she wanted to fall asleep by herself (it doesn't matter what the age is). Sorry, don't mean to pick at that, but the thought of such severe anxiety for years is sad to think about.

[mainebrokerman]

if you hold a young bird to keep them from falling.....they will never fly

I find it ironic...many of the good intentions of parents... backfire into anxieties / dependence issues.....self-centeredness... and have very low self-esteem /low confidence..

if you want kids to have high confidence ...be comfortable in their own skin.. not run and cry facing any adversity...then let them walk on their own... don't be their own crutch …

set parameters and boundaries and stick to them...

ive seen too many kids still sleeping with their parents because mommy allows it and the kids has separation issues going to school ….and that manifests into learning disabilities ..

parents... need to separate their own ghosts from their childhoods …...and not overcompensate on their own kids....