Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh dear Lord. She's from a completely different culture than you, and it may very well be cultural. If my sisters-in-law were home I'd ask them, but they aren't home. Realize that this isn't your kid, and the mom and dad get to do what they want as long as they aren't abusing or neglecting the kid. This is at least the second time you've complained about how the mom is parenting her kid, but it doesn't matter what you think.
I don't think stating concern and asking for others' experiences or knowledge of this practice equate with "complaining", and the OP stated her concern with due respect to the child's mother. While keeping the baby's hands covered hardly equates with abuse or neglect, I do think new first-time parents often can benefit by grandparents' experience and wider knowledge of child development, and it would not be inappropriate for the OP to tactfully inquire about the hand-covering and state her concerns.
I, too, would be concerned.
Since the baby is in the Philippines, obviously his hands are not covered because of cold, and trimming his nails would eliminate the accidental scratching concerns. Babies often suck their thumbs in the womb, but more importantly, they use their hands to explore their immediate environment and learn about their world as soon as they are born, so it looks as if keeping babies' hands covered is either a cultural tradition, as you note, or is done for the convenience of the caregiver.
Whenever I see the term "self-soothe" I want to gag. Give it a rest - the kid will be fine, hand covers or not. The latest thinking on something like that is just the latest over-hyped fad. Leave the mom alone.
He's not binded down, he just has covers. He can still suck and play with his hands, it'll just be very wet. He'll have plenty of time to explore, learn how to self soothe, etc.
OP- I would say nothing to the baby's mother. She didn't ask for input. You're the one who brought it up.
She did note that it is only going to be for another month. That will go by quickly. Keep in mind she is thousands of miles away in another culture. She has her own family, immediate and extended, plus friends and neighbors. For her to be doing this, there is usually some expectation on the part of people around her that this is the way to go.
I'd just let it go. The child isn't going to be harmed by it. It's not forever, just another month. The baby will be OK. Please don't worry, the baby will be fine.
The baby is going to be raised in a different culture. Many things are likely to be different than the way Americans expect. This is one of those times in life where you just go with the flow as you're going to have absolutely no control over anything. Your place in the baby's life is going to be the very distant grandma and that's it. Voice your concerns if you feel the need. Just remember that the mom and her family will be making all the decisions.
Last edited by willow wind; 02-16-2015 at 01:48 PM..
My one-month old grandson is still in the Philippines but his Mom sends pictures and videos. Everyone has his hands still with those little covers. When I asked if he was still scratching himself she said she was going to keep them on till he is 2 months old. I haven't said anything to her but I remember being told they needed to suck on their hands and fingers to learn to self soothe and that eye hand coordination starts early so kids need to see their hands. Wondering if this is cultural or a new thing?
And I won't say anything to her. I simply asked for information on what others think or are being told. I find it interesting the people who jump down a poster's throat for simply asking a question.
And BTW she HAS asked for my advice. She was having trouble nursing and not getting much support at home. She knew I successfully nursed my son for almost 3 years even after having to leave him in the hospital for almost 2 weeks because he too was premature. She asked for advice and encouragement. I helped her find a lactation expert in Manila who came to her house. She has sent me articles and asked what I think. When she asked me what my feelings were about circumcision I told her that was something she and my son would have to work out between themselves but in the end I had some trouble with waiting to do it when he was 8-10 years old IF THEY WERE GOING TO DO IT AT ALL. I'm
very sensitive to our cultural differences and respect them. And while he will always be half Filipano, the plans now are for him to be raised in America with as much Filipino influences possible under the circumstances.
We didn't allow our kids to use their hands to self-soothe, because it just encourages thumb-sucking as they get older, which causes teeth and gum problems.
No, thumb sucking does not cause teeth and gum problems.
I had one thumbsucker and one pacifier baby and one who never used either. The thumb sucker and paci babies never needed braces...perfectly straight, aligned teeth.
The one who never sucked thumbs, pacifiers, or fingers needed braces...wears his retainer every night...they still move.
OP, the baby will be fine. Do NOT criticize the new mom and her decisions. This is HER and your son's baby...SHE along with your son get to decide how to raise him. So unless they ask for advice, mums the word.
Whenever I see the term "self-soothe" I want to gag. Give it a rest - the kid will be fine, hand covers or not. The latest thinking on something like that is just the latest over-hyped fad. Leave the mom alone.
She isn't doing anything detrimental to the baby. If the baby was fussing and visibly unhappy I could see your concern. Now however she is choosing to keep the hands covered. Let it be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Tell us what you really think. 
