Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is being a stay at home Dad still frowned on by society? Is it becoming more common? I had a conversation with my Dad and he thinks "the Man's job" is to go out and work, and support the woman. Any man that does not do this is not a real man. I was shocked he thinks this way, but he is older (almost 80), and maybe it was unheard of in his generation. But still, I guess I thought if one or the other can stay home, not have to put a child in daycare, have someone there for when a child is sick, teething, Dr appt's, etc. is a good thing, even if it is "dad". Heck, I would gamble some men would be better at it then their wife's depending on their personality.
Just looking for various perspective on this - young and older alike!
I don't think it is frowned on, as long as both parents agree with the arrangement. It could obviously be problematic if both parents want to stay home.
I have known couples where the dad stays home and the mom works, but it is because the dad can't or won't hold a job, and someone has to earn a living, so mom does it. It is only problematic if all parties are not in agreement, and those particular moms were not in agreement.
I know quite a few SAHD. Obviously there are more women who stay home, but the SAHD is growing in numbers. The families seem quite happy about it.
A few the dad is older than the mom and pretty much retired. Sometimes the mom has a high paying job like being a doctor/lawyer etc....
I think middle class people are figuring out that having one parent staying home is not such a hardship, and in many ways makes your life easier. You might live in a cheaper house or drive old cars, but the cost and hassle of childcare is not there.
The person with the higher paying job works and the other takes care of the kids. It's not really a gender role as much anymore. I think that's a good thing.
I suggested it to my sister, because she has a much better job than her husband and they're expecting their first child this summer. She said even if her husband has to work at McDonalds (not where he works now, just her worst case example, I guess), she'd rather he do that even if he only made enough to break even on daycare. I tried to explain to her that that it's not just the money, but the quality of care and the time to bond with your child. She said she didn't get married to support a man, and also that she thought he'd do nothing but play with the baby all day and she'd get stuck cooking and cleaning when she got home.
But still, I guess I thought if one or the other can stay home, not have to put a child in daycare, have someone there for when a child is sick, teething, Dr appt's, etc. is a good thing, even if it is "dad". !
I know plenty of SAHDs in our area and there is nothing weird or wrong about it. Who cares which parent stays home? As long as it was something that was mutually agreed upon by the family and that is what works for them then I say go for it.
I really disagree with the sentiment in the OP that says having one parent stay home is a good thing "even if it is dad". When are people going to stop looking a fathers as the second choice parent? They are not the back up, the babysitter, the plan B. They are an equal parent and can (and should) do whatever the Mom would do as a parent. Why wouldn't you love to have either parent stay home with your kids if it was possible? I wish we could do that, but we need both incomes in our family.
I agree with your Dad. Supporting the family is a man's job. Taking care of the home and the children is the wife's role. If a man isn't making enough to allow his wife to stay home with the kids, he needs to work harder.
Putting your child's best interest first is always right
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
I suggested it to my sister, because she has a much better job than her husband and they're expecting their first child. I tried to explain to her that that it's not just the money, but the quality of care and the time to bond with your child.
I agree with your Dad. Supporting the family is a man's job. Taking care of the home and the children is the wife's role. If a man isn't making enough to allow his wife to stay home with the kids, he needs to work harder.
That's pretty sexist. What if the wife has a lucrative career that she enjoys? She should abandon it no matter what just because she's a woman?
I agree with your Dad. Supporting the family is a man's job. Taking care of the home and the children is the wife's role. If a man isn't making enough to allow his wife to stay home with the kids, he needs to work harder.
The 1950's are calling. They want you back!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Putting your child's best interest first is always right
