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We had a pit bull from before any of my children were born until the oldest was 13. He was a house pet who never hurt, nor threatened to hurt, a child or any other human being. If parents requested it, we would put him in the back yard or garage while they were visiting. That was not a problem. But for them to refuse to come to my house because of the breed of my dog (not because they were allergic, or frightened of all dogs--just because he was a pit bull) would have been offensive to me. It implies that we knew we had a vicious, dangerous beast which we were unable to effectively control, and didn't care about the safety of our own family or of visitors. None of which was the case.
By the way, I'm totally with you on the concern. I would also be concerned if, say, a family had a pool and I knew my child couldn't swim well.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut on these things. I would put the safety of the child ahead of concern over offending the other parents. There's a nice way to put your request and if they can't understand your concerns then maybe they don't have the best judgment.
We have a big mixed breed dog - we're not sure what she's mixed with because we found her on the side of the road where she'd been dumped, but she looks like she may have some boxer or some similar breed in her. She weighs 85 pounds. She is a gentle giant and LOVES kids. Loves loves loves loves loves kids. So it surprised me when my daughter, who had recently moved nearby and didn't know her well, was concerned about the kids being around my dog. My gut instinct was to protest and say, "Oh she would NEVER HURT a kid!" but I got to thinking, "we don't know that." I started thinking about how little kids try to ride dogs, or sit on them, or whatever, and our dog has literally never experienced a bit of pain in her life, the big spoiled lug. So really - we couldn't safely assume she'd be well behaved.
Consequently, we keep a close eye on dogs and kids together, and for months we wouldn't even let the kids play unsupervised around the dog, till we knew without a doubt that they were good together.
People get offended if you don't like the color orange or you prefer polka dots to stripes. My kid hates dogs. Doesn't matter if it's big, little, pit bull or poodle. If you are offended because we don't want a play date with your pet then get over it. It was your choice to get a dog, not mine.
By the way, I'm totally with you on the concern. I would also be concerned if, say, a family had a pool and I knew my child couldn't swim well.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut on these things. I would put the safety of the child ahead of concern over offending the other parents. There's a nice way to put your request and if they can't understand your concerns then maybe they don't have the best judgment.
We have a big mixed breed dog - we're not sure what she's mixed with because we found her on the side of the road where she'd been dumped, but she looks like she may have some boxer or some similar breed in her. She weighs 85 pounds. She is a gentle giant and LOVES kids. Loves loves loves loves loves kids. So it surprised me when my daughter, who had recently moved nearby and didn't know her well, was concerned about the kids being around my dog. My gut instinct was to protest and say, "Oh she would NEVER HURT a kid!" but I got to thinking, "we don't know that." I started thinking about how little kids try to ride dogs, or sit on them, or whatever, and our dog has literally never experienced a bit of pain in her life, the big spoiled lug. So really - we couldn't safely assume she'd be well behaved.
Consequently, we keep a close eye on dogs and kids together, and for months we wouldn't even let the kids play unsupervised around the dog, till we knew without a doubt that they were good together.
It's too big a risk to take lightly.
I completely agree. I'd be just as apprehensive if it was a Chihuahua, too! I don't subscribe to "it's the owner, not the breed" because in the end,they're just animals who do what comes naturally to them. What happened was I had allowed my children over there before. THEN I found out about the pit bull and that the kids had played in the yard with him. My kids were thrilled about it. So, when the mom called and asked about another play date, I told her I was uncomfortable with my children playing so closely with a strange dog, and that I should've inquired sooner if she had animals. I think because I was so friendly with her I just plain neglected to. My fault, 100%. She never even offered to put away the dog. This dog was another child. So I suggested we go out to play, etc, but she got upset. I felt terrible, it was an awkward situation. But I'd rather feel terrible and have her mad at me than take the chance.
I completely agree. I'd be just as apprehensive if it was a Chihuahua, too! I don't subscribe to "it's the owner, not the breed" because in the end,they're just animals who do what comes naturally to them. What happened was I had allowed my children over there before. THEN I found out about the pit bull and that the kids had played in the yard with him. My kids were thrilled about it. So, when the mom called and asked about another play date, I told her I was uncomfortable with my children playing so closely with a strange dog, and that I should've inquired sooner if she had animals. I think because I was so friendly with her I just plain neglected to. My fault, 100%. She never even offered to put away the dog. This dog was another child. So I suggested we go out to play, etc, but she got upset. I felt terrible, it was an awkward situation. But I'd rather feel terrible and have her mad at me than take the chance.
would you have been so apprehensive if the dog was a lab or golden retriever or beagle?? or is it the name "pit bull" that strikes such terror in your heart??
would you have been so apprehensive if the dog was a lab or golden retriever or beagle?? or is it the name "pit bull" that strikes such terror in your heart??
I think you need to look into dog bite stats. My dashounds are more likely to bite/attack than a pit.
I'd rather not get into stats. Because then the argument could be made that pit bulls are in top five of most lethal bites. But, like I said, I'd have been just as hesitant with a Chihuahua.
I'd rather not get into stats. Because then the argument could be made that pit bulls are in top five of most lethal bites. But, like I said, I'd have been just as hesitant with a Chihuahua.
I'm going to guess I'm in the minorty, at least of those who will admit it, but I never even asked about dogs.
Also seeing as how your child had already played over and survived I can understand how the mom would have been upset. A better approach would have been to allow your child to play over with instructions, to the child, that s/he was not to play with the dog.
I'm going to guess I'm in the minorty, at least of those who will admit it, but I never even asked about dogs.
Also seeing as how your child had already played over and survived I can understand how the mom would have been upset. A better approach would have been to allow your child to play over with instructions, to the child, that s/he was not to play with the dog.
Thx. I definitely dropped the ball by neglecting to ask. I don't see how giving my child instructions would have prevented the dog from possibly biting her though. I also don't understand how people who knowingly get a particular breed, that is known to have the most lethal bite, get upset that others aren't on board with it.
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