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My thought on this is that I am a human being and when a wrong has been done to me, I deserve and demand that it be made right. I am worth that. So are you. But, if you don't think so what can we do?
And we are all a learning experience for kids just by being out in public with them. Isn't that how you learned things?
An apology doesn't "make it right", nothing can "unsay" a hurtful thing. In fact we taught our kids not to say "that's okay" when someone apologizes, rather "thank you for apologizing" because sometimes "sorry" doesn't make it "right".
She's not spoiling for a fight or wanting to be a "teachable moment" for someone else's kid. That seems perfectly reasonable.
You are posting about people needing to be kinder to overweight people and are jumping on another poster for her views and experience. SHE doesn't want an apology, it embarrasses HER, your agreement or how YOU feel is irrelevant.
An apology doesn't "make it right", nothing can "unsay" a hurtful thing. In fact we taught our kids not to say "that's okay" when someone apologizes, rather "thank you for apologizing" because sometimes "sorry" doesn't make it "right".
She's not spoiling for a fight or wanting to be a "teachable moment" for someone else's kid. That seems perfectly reasonable.
You are posting about people needing to be kinder to overweight people and are jumping on another poster for her views and experience. SHE doesn't want an apology, it embarrasses HER, your agreement or how YOU feel is irrelevant.
Why wouldn't you expect that poster to do the same if your child had reason to apologize? She doesn't have to accept the apology, that's up to her. But children should be taught to offer one, and I'm having difficulty understanding anybody who thinks that's a bad thing.
Why wouldn't you expect that poster to do the same if your child had reason to apologize? She doesn't have to accept the apology, that's up to her. But children should be taught to offer one, and I'm having difficulty understanding anybody who thinks that's a bad thing.
It truly is very odd.
It's not reasonable to allow people to treat you badly and do nothing. That is so strange to me.
Yeah like when I took my kids on a cruise to Vietnam and China and my 11 year old said "why are there so many Asians here" in the loudest voice you've ever heard.
Fat Shaming is CRUEL and unnecessary and the child is usually repeating what he's heard from adults.
End of.
Coming from an 11-year-old who was on a cruise to ASIAN countries, that was deliberate, smart-assy behavior (POSSIBLY to mask some feelings of uncertainty or insecurity, but saying it so loudly was meant to hurt and was wrong, wrong, wrong). And it requires the type of lightly smart-assy response that registers with pre-pubescents, such as: "Oh, you mean the Asians who actually LIVE in this part of the world? Why, I think I heard that they were asking one another what YOU are doing here!" And then I would have explained how rude, inappropriate, and ugly "Ugly American" syndrome and racism are.
I hope that by the end of the trip, he developed some cultural awareness and appreciation. You gave him a great gift by taking him so far out of the country!
For what it's worth and, generally speaking, instructing kids to tell others, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" or "I'm sorry I hurt you" reinforces the kids' power in the situation and presupposes the other person's reaction and emotions, even though the kids may not realize it at the time. Words matter.
It's better to be straight-forward, which also puts the onus on the kid entirely. "I'm sorry I said what I did. It was wrong." Or similar, depending on the age of the kid. And prior to issuing the apology, ensure that the kid does realize why it was wrong so that he or she IS sorry and not offering one of those lame, "my parent is making me say this so I can have ice cream later" apologies.
Yeah, if the affected person doesn't want an apology, interrupt the kid immediately and move on. Make sure you take care of the transgression, though. Judging people on appearance, heck, social conformity on appearance at many levels is getting worse and worse. Parents should be on this from a young age. Social control and status achieved through bullying in person and on social media are critical problems.
An apology doesn't "make it right", nothing can "unsay" a hurtful thing. In fact we taught our kids not to say "that's okay" when someone apologizes, rather "thank you for apologizing" because sometimes "sorry" doesn't make it "right".
She's not spoiling for a fight or wanting to be a "teachable moment" for someone else's kid. That seems perfectly reasonable.
You are posting about people needing to be kinder to overweight people and are jumping on another poster for her views and experience. SHE doesn't want an apology, it embarrasses HER, your agreement or how YOU feel is irrelevant.
Why wouldn't you expect that poster to do the same if your child had reason to apologize? She doesn't have to accept the apology, that's up to her. But children should be taught to offer one, and I'm having difficulty understanding anybody who thinks that's a bad thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
It truly is very odd.
It's not reasonable to allow people to treat you badly and do nothing. That is so strange to me.
Forcing people to apologize when they don't mean it is an empty action.
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