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I just got in from the water park and noticed two disturbing incidents of relatively young kids (probably under 10) poking fun of fat adults on the lazy river to their face. While kids will often just blurt something out, the parents didn't seem to correct the kids. Had I said something like that, my mother would have been after me!
Would you discipline your child for publicly insulting a fat person?
You apologize to the person in question.
Make your kid apologize.
Take the kid home and let them know you are leaving "before the fun is over" because they were insulting to another person.
Then give them a punishment.
I agree but with a slight modification.
The water park that we go to is a three hour drive away from our house and it is also a fun outing for my husband and me and the other children. So we would probably give the child that made the comment a lengthy time-out (at least 60 minutes) or make them wait in the car or something like that rather than punish the rest of the family by immediately leaving.
Of course, this would not happen because our children would not say things like that (except maybe when they were just 2 or 3 and still learning appropriate social skills).
Shame on the 10 year old for saying something and double shame on the parents for ignoring it.
I am an overweight woman and I know that those type of comments can be very, very hurtful especially when the parents encourage their child by not correcting them or asking them to apologize.
The water park that we go to is a three hour drive away from our house and it is also a fun outing for my husband and me and the other children. So we would probably give the child that made the comment a lengthy time-out (at least 60 minutes) or make them wait in the car or something like that rather than punish the rest of the family by immediately leaving.
Of course, this would not happen because our children would not say things like that (except maybe when they were just 2 or 3 and still learning appropriate social skills).
Shame on the 10 year old for saying something and double shame on the parents for ignoring it.
I am an overweight woman and I know that those type of comments can be very, very hurtful especially when the parents encourage their child by not correcting them or asking them to apologize.
Of course you have to run your family as you see fit. But IMHO, Timeouts are non-effective (BS).
A kid who insults an adult and is given a "timeout" is not going to even remember that TO during the following 4-5 hours when they are enjoying themselves.
I also think that when a parent make the excuse that they and the other kids are enjoying yourselves - and so wouldn't want to leave, they are again enabling a child that needs to be punished. And, no, I don't believe a parent is going to stand watch over them so they don't sneak in some entertainment while being punished... while the rest of the family is scattered out enjoying themselves in the park.
Will a parent actually stand their kid out in the sun and say stay here for an hour? Or will they just say, play by yourself - in that cool part of the pool? Probably all is forgiven and forgotten - especially by the kid who did it, within 15 minutes and no lesson learned.
If a kid were to do that, leaving immediately puts it into the minds of everyone in the family that the behavior is not acceptable.
Again, I think you need to run your family as you see fit, but I don't believe a TO at an amusement part is effectual.
The water park that we go to is a three hour drive away from our house and it is also a fun outing for my husband and me and the other children. So we would probably give the child that made the comment a lengthy time-out (at least 60 minutes) or make them wait in the car or something like that rather than punish the rest of the family by immediately leaving.
Of course, this would not happen because our children would not say things like that (except maybe when they were just 2 or 3 and still learning appropriate social skills).
Shame on the 10 year old for saying something and double shame on the parents for ignoring it.
I am an overweight woman and I know that those type of comments can be very, very hurtful especially when the parents encourage their child by not correcting them or asking them to apologize.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blktoptrvl
Of course you have to run your family as you see fit. But IMHO, Timeouts are non-effective (BS).
A kid who insults an adult and is given a "timeout" is not going to even remember that TO during the following 4-5 hours when they are enjoying themselves.
I also think that when a parent make the excuse that they and the other kids are enjoying yourselves - and so wouldn't want to leave, they are again enabling a child that needs to be punished. And, no, I don't believe a parent is going to stand watch over them so they don't sneak in some entertainment while being punished... while the rest of the family is scattered out enjoying themselves in the park.
Will a parent actually stand their kid out in the sun and say stay here for an hour? Or will they just say, play by yourself - in that cool part of the pool? Probably all is forgiven and forgotten - especially by the kid who did it, within 15 minutes and no lesson learned.
If a kid were to do that, leaving immediately puts it into the minds of everyone in the family that the behavior is not acceptable.
Again, I think you need to run your family as you see fit, but I don't believe a TO at an amusement part is effectual.
Thank you for you comments. But since our children are now adults, and we never had to face that issue the question is moot.
Maybe other parents do not follow through when they say that they will punish a child we always did.
I was trying to think of an example and could only think of one. Although, it only happened once we have had one of our children wait in the car by themselves without their food (where we could see him from the restaurant windows) while the rest of us finished our meals because that child was being loud. If our son is being loud why should that mean that the rest of us do not get to eat our food? (of course, we probably couldn't do that today as someone would call CPS on us).
BTW, the time out in the water park would have been in the shade, in a boring place, and have been under the watchful eye of one of the parents who was sitting a reasonable distance away.
These should be conversations parents should have with their kids at a young age. When my daughter was just 2, there was a woman who was well over 300 pounds, and she pointed and said in her loud toddler voice (as there is no volume control at that age), "She's fat!" Since then, we've had conversations as we meet new people that are different.
There is a disabled young man at our local drive-thru window. The first time I saw him, I stopped just shy of the window to say to the kids, "don't say anything about this boy and we'll talk about it after we get our food." That turned into another conversation about how not everyone is the same. My kids were 2 & 5 at that moment.
We were at the swimming pool last weekend, and there was a lady missing an arm. I was proud of my daughter (now 7 1/2) for not pointing and making comments, but she quietly asked me if I noticed.
It's not hard to raise polite kids, but it must start with the parents. If the parents have no respect for others, their kids won't be able to show respect either.
These should be conversations parents should have with their kids at a young age. When my daughter was just 2, there was a woman who was well over 300 pounds, and she pointed and said in her loud toddler voice (as there is no volume control at that age), "She's fat!" Since then, we've had conversations as we meet new people that are different.
There is a disabled young man at our local drive-thru window. The first time I saw him, I stopped just shy of the window to say to the kids, "don't say anything about this boy and we'll talk about it after we get our food." That turned into another conversation about how not everyone is the same. My kids were 2 & 5 at that moment.
We were at the swimming pool last weekend, and there was a lady missing an arm. I was proud of my daughter (now 7 1/2) for not pointing and making comments, but she quietly asked me if I noticed.
It's not hard to raise polite kids, but it must start with the parents. If the parents have no respect for others, their kids won't be able to show respect either.
The thing is, children who are 2 years old are repeating words and actions that she has seen her parents say and do.
So in reality Mom & Dad should be punished for teaching a child that young it is okay to say out loud
"She's fat"......
How does a child at at age know that someone is fat? This is not something that comes naturally, it is a learned statement.
Last edited by CSD610; 06-14-2015 at 06:07 PM..
Reason: Had to correct one word.
The title of this thread includes the words "fat person" so the OP doesn't consider those words to be an insult. But there does not seem to be any clue of what the actual insult was, nor how it related to those words. In any case, the first thing to do would be to find out where they heard the insult. Maybe kids at their school were insulting another kid that way. The parents should ask enough questions of their kids to find out if that other kid gets routinely bullied, and how much these kids participate in that bullying. Parents have to be like lawyers, but they need a lot more competence than most lawyers have.
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