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I read the first 2 paragraphs, saw you had a novel written, then skimmed. You spent a significant amount of time talking about a bad relationship with your ex-fiancee, as well as your (and her) family dynamics. This has nothing to do with you being an only child, and frankly, you're blaming that for all of your issues. What does you being an only child have to do with dating a lying, extroverted woman, or that your parents want grandkids? Those are family dynamic/personality issues.
Let's keep it real. Your family life sucked and your ex-fiancee sucked. You've created a fantasy that having a sibling would have made life better for you. There's absolutely no way to know, so dwelling on it is useless. This idea that someone isn't "a good fit" for being an only child is not only preposterous, it's rather insulting. You've suggested that people should have an extra kid for purely selfish reasons for both the parents, as well as the child. People should have a child/children because they want to. If they don't want a child/children, that perfectly ok too. You're in your 30s. Stop letting people dictate what you should or shouldn't do.
Considering that you wrote so much superfluous information, I assume you really wanted to vent. However, I'm going to suggest counseling, BEFORE you attempt to have kids to please your parents. Otherwise, 30 years from now, YOUR kid will be writing this same letter, because his/her parent put ridiculous pressure on him/her.
Signed,
A well adjusted only child who has a well adjusted only child.
As others have noted, you wrote about a lot of different but all family-related issues. Like others here, I don't think your problems would be significantly changed if you had a sibling - they might even be worse! What I can suggest is to look for friends that can become "siblings by choice" - brotherly and sisterly types who would welcome a brother of choice of their own.
As for marriage and children (ideally in that order), you still have several years to find a loving wife who would be a great companion and eventually a good mother. Meanwhile, work on yourself - counseling about your family of origin and your relationships with your parents would be a good start. It's fine to be a quiet person, but you don't want to be so withdrawn that others overlook you or leave you out. Learn how to become your own person, how to build on your strengths and overcome or lessen your weaknesses. Do not let your mother's criticism weigh you down.
Once you feel more secure about yourself and have established some close friendships, then look for the lucky lady who deserves and will love you, and who is also a strong, secure person who is caring and compassionate and a good companion. If you find her and love her, and she says yes, put a ring on it, be young marrieds for a couple of years, then see about having a child or two or three.
I read the first 2 paragraphs, saw you had a novel written, then skimmed. You spent a significant amount of time talking about a bad relationship with your ex-fiancee, as well as your (and her) family dynamics. This has nothing to do with you being an only child, and frankly, you're blaming that for all of your issues. What does you being an only child have to do with dating a lying, extroverted woman, or that your parents want grandkids? Those are family dynamic/personality issues.
Let's keep it real. Your family life sucked and your ex-fiancee sucked. You've created a fantasy that having a sibling would have made life better for you. There's absolutely no way to know, so dwelling on it is useless. This idea that someone isn't "a good fit" for being an only child is not only preposterous, it's rather insulting. You've suggested that people should have an extra kid for purely selfish reasons for both the parents, as well as the child. People should have a child/children because they want to. If they don't want a child/children, that perfectly ok too. You're in your 30s. Stop letting people dictate what you should or shouldn't do.
Considering that you wrote so much superfluous information, I assume you really wanted to vent. However, I'm going to suggest counseling, BEFORE you attempt to have kids to please your parents. Otherwise, 30 years from now, YOUR kid will be writing this same letter, because his/her parent put ridiculous pressure on him/her.
Signed,
A well adjusted only child who has a well adjusted only child.
Well said!! Bravo!
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