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I agree with Cinder. I work with abused and neglected children and of all the children that have encopresis (soiling) almost 99% of them have been sexually abused. If she always had accidents then that would be different, but the sudden onset is alarming. Also the change of behavior is distressing. Please check this out as soon as possible. I hope this isn't true in her case.
Sounds like she's been holding and not going #2 when needed. She probably has a blockage and "stuff" is getting around it. She also has probably lost the feeling of knowing when to go. This happened to my son in K. I took him to his peds and he had x-rays taken. He had us start him on Miralax and also give him fiber gummies. I feel your pain. We couldn't go out on the weekends for about a month without him spending the time in the bathroom and having accidents. We later figured out his wonderful K teacher wasn't allowing him to always use the restroom when needed.
Sounds like she's been holding and not going #2 when needed. She probably has a blockage and "stuff" is getting around it. She also has probably lost the feeling of knowing when to go. This happened to my son in K. I took him to his peds and he had x-rays taken. He had us start him on Miralax and also give him fiber gummies. I feel your pain. We couldn't go out on the weekends for about a month without him spending the time in the bathroom and having accidents. We later figured out his wonderful K teacher wasn't allowing him to always use the restroom when needed.
Before you immediately blame the kindergarten teacher it may be something else at school.
Perhaps the 4K classroom had an individual bathroom in the classroom and this year she has to use the giant bathroom, down the hallway, with the loud flushing toilets and the scary echo.
Or the kindergarten class is more "exciting" and she does not want to miss any of the fun by leaving to go to the toilet.
Or she has to use the giant bathroom and big kids or handicapped kids (possibly with aides) are in it and she is not used to that.
Or the kids are encouraged to use the bathroom at recess time and during free choice time and she would rather play.
Or the class now goes as a group to the bathroom and she is embarrassed because it takes her much longer to poop, than the girls just urinating, and the entire class is waiting for her to finish.
Or the class size is much larger but they still just have the one small bathroom to share, so she needs to wait longer for her turn, so she ignores her bodies signals.
Or any number of other things.
Frankly, these are very common at the kindergarten level, especially the first two that I listed.
I have no answer about the soiling issue, but please don't resort to punishment (as per your post). No matter what's happening that can't help the situation. There are so many reasons this might be happening, and I think others have covered those well.
yes I would say a specialist is in order and one who does certain test for sexually abused children . I was reading a book and they mentioned that is a sign ....
I did. Shes never alone with any other adult except her Mom and I other then at school and all her teachers are female.. not worried about that.
This might be it. TMI ahead - but i noticed when she does soil her pants its never a large quantity.. more so just mush. I asked her the last time she had a full poop and she says she doesnt know.
But you would think the DR would have took a look at that - Her mother took her not I so i will have to ask.
She also doesn't have accidents at night when sleeping... just during the day.
We moved when my daughter was 4. She started holding in her stool, squeezing her legs together so that she didn't have to go, having accidents with small amounts of watery stool. It turned out that she was only comfortable pooping on the potty at our old apartment, so she had decided not to poop anymore. I took her to the doctor and he said there was something that could be done if we couldn't get it unblocked, but to try laxatives first. We tried milk of magnesia and prune juice and neither of those helped. Glycerin suppositories did the trick.
If you try treating your daughter with laxatives, this needs to be on the weekend. Having a big bowel movement at school, especially the uncontrollable kind that laxatives can cause, might cause her more problems emotionally.
The other times my kids have had bathroom problems, it's been because of bathroom issues at school. My oldest had a teacher who wouldn't let her go when she needed to, then she'd have an accident and I'd have to take her clean clothes at school. It happened once a week until I found out that they were telling her she couldn't use the bathroom. I told her after that if she needed the bathroom and they said no, to just go ahead and go to the bathroom, then go to the school office and tell them what happened and I would take care of it. I had to go to the office once because of that, and I explained that she was having a bathroom accident once a week and that I thought it was unsanitary and damaging to her self-esteem, and so on, and after that the teacher let her use the bathroom when she needed to. My other daughter had a problem where she'd be wetting her pants on the school bus...by then I knew enough to ask what was wrong with the bathroom at school, and it turned out that the little boys were walking in on her when she was in the bathroom attached to the kinder classroom. I talked to the teacher and after that she would send the kids in pairs, one to stand outside the door while the other one went, and that took care of the problem.
If you think your daughter has been holding in her stool for a long time, don't give her any kind of fiber supplement and don't feed her rice or applesauce until the problem has passed, those will only make it worse.
Before you immediately blame the kindergarten teacher it may be something else at school.
Perhaps the 4K classroom had an individual bathroom in the classroom and this year she has to use the giant bathroom, down the hallway, with the loud flushing toilets and the scary echo.
Or the kindergarten class is more "exciting" and she does not want to miss any of the fun by leaving to go to the toilet.
Or she has to use the giant bathroom and big kids or handicapped kids (possibly with aides) are in it and she is not used to that.
Or the kids are encouraged to use the bathroom at recess time and during free choice time and she would rather play.
Or the class now goes as a group to the bathroom and she is embarrassed because it takes her much longer to poop, than the girls just urinating, and the entire class is waiting for her to finish.
Or the class size is much larger but they still just have the one small bathroom to share, so she needs to wait longer for her turn, so she ignores her bodies signals.
Or any number of other things.
Frankly, these are very common at the kindergarten level, especially the first two that I listed.
Agreed. My youngest son had a medical problem in K because he did not want to stop doing what he was doing in class to go to the bathroom and was holding it too long.
Bottom line: There are a LOT of possible causes here, and it needs professional evaluation.
We had this suddenly start happening to our 4 year old daughter many years ago. We had no idea why the sudden change in attitude and behavior. After a few weeks of consternation, we finally found out what had happened.
At her daycare she had asked to go to the bathroom while everyone was out on the playground. Her teacher let her back into the classroom and our daughter went into the bathroom. And promptly got accidently locked in. Being four years old, she did not know how to unlock this particular door, and so she stood in there screaming, crying and pounding on the door. But since everyone was outside on the playground, no one heard her.
When the recess was ending a few minutes later, the teacher realized that DD had not ever come back outside, and went to investigate - find our tearful daughter upon opening the bathroom door. The teacher had not told us about the incident because initially our DD recovered quickly in class - and by the end of the day it was as though it never happened.
Except. It led to a fear of bathrooms (even at home) that remained for a good 2-3 years before she finally worked it out. The result? Constant accidents until she was in 2nd grade. At one point she was holding it so long that it began leaking out in fluid form, against her will. What a mess. We took her to the pediatrician immediately, and she determined that our daughter was completely blocked. We went on huge doses of Miralax and a lot of fiber foods for about a week, per our pediatrician's detailed instructions, and got her cleaned out. We insisted on open communication and honesty with her about her situation, and put her on a daily schedule that MADE her go sit on the potty even for just a couple minutes every couple hours. We never yelled if she had an accident, so as not to make it potentially worse.
In the end, she slowly improved - but it took a long time. Even now she sometimes holds having to go until the last possible minute and tends to leave the bathroom door cracked so it can't close (even though at 12 years old she obviously knows how to lock and unlock). In public she will only use bathrooms that do not have doors to enter the bathroom - only alcoves.
I share the story to show that it is not always sexual abuse that causes this situation. It could be other things.
]Before you immediately blame the kindergarten teacher it may be something else at school.[/b]
Perhaps the 4K classroom had an individual bathroom in the classroom and this year she has to use the giant bathroom, down the hallway, with the loud flushing toilets and the scary echo.
Or the kindergarten class is more "exciting" and she does not want to miss any of the fun by leaving to go to the toilet.
Or she has to use the giant bathroom and big kids or handicapped kids (possibly with aides) are in it and she is not used to that.
Or the kids are encouraged to use the bathroom at recess time and during free choice time and she would rather play.
Or the class now goes as a group to the bathroom and she is embarrassed because it takes her much longer to poop, than the girls just urinating, and the entire class is waiting for her to finish.
Or the class size is much larger but they still just have the one small bathroom to share, so she needs to wait longer for her turn, so she ignores her bodies signals.
Or any number of other things.
Frankly, these are very common at the kindergarten level, especially the first two that I listed.
In my son's case it WAS the K teacher. I didn't say it was the teacher's fault in his daughter's case. It's common more in boys (at least that's what I've heard from the school nurses)from K-2. All the same it could (holding it for whatever reason) be what's happening to her.
We had this suddenly start happening to our 4 year old daughter many years ago. We had no idea why the sudden change in attitude and behavior. After a few weeks of consternation, we finally found out what had happened.
At her daycare she had asked to go to the bathroom while everyone was out on the playground. Her teacher let her back into the classroom and our daughter went into the bathroom. And promptly got accidently locked in. Being four years old, she did not know how to unlock this particular door, and so she stood in there screaming, crying and pounding on the door. But since everyone was outside on the playground, no one heard her.
When the recess was ending a few minutes later, the teacher realized that DD had not ever come back outside, and went to investigate - find our tearful daughter upon opening the bathroom door. The teacher had not told us about the incident because initially our DD recovered quickly in class - and by the end of the day it was as though it never happened.
Except. It led to a fear of bathrooms (even at home) that remained for a good 2-3 years before she finally worked it out. The result? Constant accidents until she was in 2nd grade. At one point she was holding it so long that it began leaking out in fluid form, against her will. What a mess. We took her to the pediatrician immediately, and she determined that our daughter was completely blocked. We went on huge doses of Miralax and a lot of fiber foods for about a week, per our pediatrician's detailed instructions, and got her cleaned out. We insisted on open communication and honesty with her about her situation, and put her on a daily schedule that MADE her go sit on the potty even for just a couple minutes every couple hours. We never yelled if she had an accident, so as not to make it potentially worse.
In the end, she slowly improved - but it took a long time. Even now she sometimes holds having to go until the last possible minute and tends to leave the bathroom door cracked so it can't close (even though at 12 years old she obviously knows how to lock and unlock). In public she will only use bathrooms that do not have doors to enter the bathroom - only alcoves.
I share the story to show that it is not always sexual abuse that causes this situation. It could be other things.
Good luck, OP.
Poor girl. When and how did you finally find out about the bathroom incident?
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