Neighbor posted 10 second video of my child on Facebook (teenagers, baby, wife)
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See, the thing is, I have a bunch of kids, and I wouldn't film one of their little friends at my house and post it to Facebook. That's not "sharing memories"
If something funny happened while the kids were playing I might take pictures or videos and send it to the parents--because their kid and my kid are being funny. I would never bypass the parent and announce to the world: "look how funny/creative/super-duper artistic I am taking these videos of kids!"
Not everyone does things exactly the way you do nor should they.
My school regularly tweets pics of our students doing interesting things. As a teacher I frequently take pictures of the students at events. And I do not (nor does the school) get parental permission first.
As a parent I have frequently shared images online with othe parents of our kids and I don't ask permission if they're already posting images of their own child as was the case with the OP.
Interesting that you cannot see the differences in these situations.
Are you "non-paranoid" people deliberately obtuse? In nearly every "non-paranoid" person's post there is a glaring avoidance of other people's legitimate concerns and responses. And a willful ignorance to real issues that actually occur. And a blind insistence on their one point-of-view.
Or are you all trying desperately to normalize something that is not normal?? The protestations seem awfully passionate for something most people don't worry about...
I have dealt with thousands of parents through teaching and coaching and I am very comfortable that your stance is the one outside of the norm. Most parents who are sharing their child's images on social media (LIKE THE OP) are not expecting permission to be asked when friends and family do the same.
I'm not clear on what you're talking about. It appears that you didn't even take a minute to read the thread to which you are responding in. The mother never asked the neighbor to take the video down.
So when you ask why didn't he take the video when the mother asked, I'm not sure why you're making up a hypothetical response on the neighbor's behalf. It seems a little ill-placed and a horrible way to conclude that someone is creepy.
I suggest you stick to the facts rather than making stuff up.
This was cleared up when I deleted that post yesterday... I am so over being attacked for nomenclature by supporters of creepy guys videoing their neighbors children without permission.
Stop attacking...Make a point about why you support this sense of entitlement over someone else's child and debate your rationale.......
This was cleared up when I deleted that post yesterday... I am so over being attacked for nomenclature by supporters of creepy guys videoing their neighbors children without permission.
Stop attacking...Make a point about why you support this sense of entitlement over someone else's child and debate your rationale........
Here's the thing: while I don't think the child is any real danger over a ten second video (especially when this kid is already on Facebook) I do believe in general it is always better to ask parents permission before you post anything. Its not legally required but it's polite. In that sense I agree with you.
But calling him "creepy"? the OP never once raised such alarms, she made it very clear this was a guy goofing about his sports team rivalries. What justification do you have for making this guy out to be evil? People are disagreeing with you about the level of risk involved and the etiquette of asking parents first in this day and age of ubiquitous social media. They're not advocating for child molesters. Youre putting words in people's mouths.
The largest danger to kids from others posting their pictures on social media is loss of privacy, not kidnapping or molestation. The child might grow up and be embarrassed or annoyed the pictures are out there. That or an embarrassing picture might go viral or get turned into a meme. I get why some parents might get paranoid about that. I think the risk is tiny but people can make their own decisions.
This family is not running from a stalker or anything so that's not an issue here. There is no reason to act as if folks who disagree with you are degenerates advocating for depraved behavior.
This was cleared up when I deleted that post yesterday... I am so over being attacked for nomenclature by supporters of creepy guys videoing their neighbors children without permission.
Stop attacking...Make a point about why you support this sense of entitlement over someone else's child and debate your rationale........
I will jump in, and hope this doesn't get more out of hand than it already has.
As long as you continue to paint this broad brush that all guys who dare to use their camera outside their own limited social circle, or even more so use them inside their own social circle filming/photographing their OWN CHILD'S FRIEND, as being "creepy," people like whomever you are referring to are going to call you out on it. Let me ask--why do you say "creepy guy?" Is it because the guy is in fact a guy, and would you make the exact same characterization over a female doing the exact same thing and call her a "creepy girl?"
If you would NOT characterize the girl as "creepy," then congratulations, you're promoting sexism. If not, then you're still wrong for the other reasons. Either way, you're wrong. People who see me taking photos of whatever in public calling me "pervert," especially if they wouldn't do the same thing if a woman was doing it, they're being every bit as much the sexist pig as the disgusting man telling a woman working in a traditionally male-dominated occupation like auto mechanic "go back in the kitchen where you belong." They are being no different. Gender aside, if photography is "creepy," there are a lot of "creepy" people in the world, and I'm PROUD to be one of them.
This "sense of entitlement" you are referring is the freaking LAW. The girl was in PUBLIC--maybe her yard, but in plain view just the same. In those cases, you have no right to privacy legally. None. Period. Not only that, I assert you SHOULDN'T have this right, because it's ridiculous to be in plain sight of other people and suggest they need your consent to take your photo, especially if they're not all in your face being paparazzi-esque about it. This is a new thing this idea that people are supposed to ask for permission first and it makes absolutely no sense at all.
"It makes me uncomfortable?" TOUGH, and WHO CARES, and GOOD that many people don't. They shouldn't have to. Maybe I'm uncomfortable seeing a woman wearing purple, does that mean all women should stop wearing people because I choose to make a big deal out of nothing? Where does it stop, al of this thing of people being "offended" and "uncomfortable" over the tiniest of things?
While in general it's good to respect other people's feelings, sometimes they're being ridiculous and need to be told so. People who think all photography in public has to stop because "MY CHILD" is in it are thinking the world revolves around their child and their paranoia, and one should not be compelled to respect something so delirious, especially so long as the snappers in question aren't acting like the paparazzi trying to relentlessly chase people down who have taken great pains to be avoided, and in fact most of us are decent in that way. They need to be told how silly they're being. I fully believe, based on my much more limited experience, that "lbk0714" is right in saying that the great majority of people are OK with such photography that isn't "in your face" paparazzi-esque, especially amongst family and friends and classmates at school etc. I have no doubt it's "par for the course" and very un-weird.
THEY and the laws as they are now, such is what should be "setting the stage" for how photo snapping and such occurs. The 2% who make a mountain out of a molehill, they're fully in their rights to how they feel. In like manner we're fully in our rights to tell them they're being ridiculous. It's like a bridge, they can get over it, or they can move to Amish country and leave the rest of us "creepy guys" alone so we can enjoy a normal life without all of this unnecessary drama. They'll be happier, and so will we.
Here's the thing: while I don't think the child is any real danger over a ten second video (especially when this kid is already on Facebook) I do believe in general it is always better to ask parents permission before you post anything. Its not legally required but it's polite. In that sense I agree with you.
But calling him "creepy"? the OP never once raised such alarms, she made it very clear this was a guy goofing about his sports team rivalries. What justification do you have for making this guy out to be evil? People are disagreeing with you about the level of risk involved and the etiquette of asking parents first in this day and age of ubiquitous social media. They're not advocating for child molesters. Youre putting words in people's mouths.
The largest danger to kids from others posting their pictures on social media is loss of privacy, not kidnapping or molestation. The child might grow up and be embarrassed or annoyed the pictures are out there. That or an embarrassing picture might go viral or get turned into a meme. I get why some parents might get paranoid about that. I think the risk is tiny but people can make their own decisions.
This family is not running from a stalker or anything so that's not an issue here. There is no reason to act as if folks who disagree with you are degenerates advocating for depraved behavior.
I find the guy creepy, that is my opinion. I think you are attaching your own personal meanings to that word.
google it.
Not everyone does things exactly the way you do nor should they.
My school regularly tweets pics of our students doing interesting things. As a teacher I frequently take pictures of the students at events. And I do not (nor does the school) get parental permission first.
As a parent I have frequently shared images online with othe parents of our kids and I don't ask permission if they're already posting images of their own child as was the case with the OP.
The OP said nothing about any of that information being shared in the 10 second video.
Additionally, she has also admitted there are images of this child all over her and her husbands Facebook, and they are friends with this neighbor meaning he has likely seen that their child is already on social media.
Why would burglars or vandals be on Facebook looking for videos of children playing at the neighbors house?
For that matter why would a kidnap for ransom be triggered by discussion of a sports team?
I don't see how that's "reaching" when I'm just pointing out possibilities other than child molestation...? I mean, a lot of that is basic Internet safety: you don't know whose cousin is a drug addict looking for an empty house to rob, or which 6 degrees of separation FB "friend" holds some sort of grudge. Hypothetically the seemingly benign conversation in a 10 second video could reveal a ton of personal information. I don't know why criminals do what they do, but why wouldn't potential burglars be on Facbook? But I do think you are really reaching to pretend like no crimes are ever a result of information shared on Facebook. You say you're a teacher and a parent and yet you've never heard these basic Internet safety tips? Or of someone's house being robbed after they posted, say, the length and dates of their vacation??
Hypothetically, what if the OP and her husband, while posting pictures, are meticulous about not showing their location/address, or the child's name, age, school, etc etc?
I have dealt with thousands of parents through teaching and coaching and I am very comfortable that your stance is the one outside of the norm. Most parents who are sharing their child's images on social media (LIKE THE OP) are not expecting permission to be asked when friends and family do the same.
Do you honestly not see the difference here? Between a video in a group setting such as school or a sports field, and a video of an unrelated child in a private setting? Even if you're ok with, you don't see the difference?
And I think it's interesting that you automatically discount MY experiences--which are just as valid as yours. As a mother of four who also has worked in schools, I've "dealt with" a lot of folks, too. And, I am confident parents in my area would be uncomfortable with the neighbor taping their kid and posting it to all of Facebook. This afternoon, if I filmed my neighbor's kid--not a group of kids, just that kid--in my yard, and posted it on MY Facebook page, my neighbors would think that was weird. It's not normal here.
{snip} This afternoon, if I filmed my neighbor's kid--not a group of kids, just that kid--in my yard, and posted it on MY Facebook page, my neighbors would think that was weird. It's not normal here.
Quite a few people around here would find it weird too. Guess what--tough on them. ***I*** think it's normal, and it's legal. That's good enough for me. WHO CARES what they think? It's like a bridge, they'll get over it. What, has everyone become Amish all of a sudden?
Last edited by shyguylh; 01-17-2016 at 09:12 AM..
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