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I wanted to mention the puberty thing also as a factor.
I was always the youngest kid in the class but in our family we tend to develop early. At one point I was the tallest in the class and I hit puberty early. That is always awkward whether you are early or late or in-between. I was early, but if I had been held back then I would have been wearing a bra in 5th grade and would have felt even more big and awkward and ugly then I already did.
Historically we knew that my mom got her period when she was 10, so it was likely that I would develop early. That is a consideration.
My brother was held back and he was the biggest kid in school and going through puberty when most of the other boys were still puny. That gave him status but it was awkward I am sure. It also was dangerous because it was a 'thing' for boys to challenge or to provoke him as a sign of bravery. He was popular but he got in trouble for fighting.
My son had that problem too, but for different reasons. It still is a 'thing' that boys will want to prove bravery.
It is one of those things that could go either way, but consider all angles.
I wanted to mention the puberty thing also as a factor.
I was always the youngest kid in the class but in our family we tend to develop early. At one point I was the tallest in the class and I hit puberty early. That is always awkward whether you are early or late or in-between. I was early, but if I had been held back then I would have been wearing a bra in 5th grade and would have felt even more big and awkward and ugly then I already did.
Historically we knew that my mom got her period when she was 10, so it was likely that I would develop early. That is a consideration.
My brother was held back and he was the biggest kid in school and going through puberty when most of the other boys were still puny. That gave him status but it was awkward I am sure. It also was dangerous because it was a 'thing' for boys to challenge or to provoke him as a sign of bravery. He was popular but he got in trouble for fighting.
My son had that problem too, but for different reasons. It still is a 'thing' that boys will want to prove bravery.
It is one of those things that could go either way, but consider all angles.
Kids are going through puberty so early now, 10 isn't even unusual now. But its almost impossible to tell. I was "early" and tall but no one in my family was.
My 2 boys who have later birthdays and started school on time. They are now 9 and 7. I have no regrets.
Like yourself, before my oldest started Kinder, I "heard" and read all these stories about how academically rigorous Kinder was these days. I was started to worry. However, to my surprise, it wasn't academically hard at all. They have plenty of kid time and moving time built in ( science lab, music, PE, etc.). And FYI, we are in one of the top 3 districts in the Dallas area. The only homework they ever had was reading every night (they brought home appropriate reading level books each week) and going over sight words by doing activities with them (sort, make sentences, alphabetize etc).
The fact is, I don't care if my kids are the biggest, the brightest, the best leaders, etc. That just isn't my goal as a parent. I am fine with my kids facing obstacles in their lives. Life isn't easy, and I am doing them no favors by trying to make it so.
Kindergarten doesn't matter, the real question is: how do you feel about them being the youngest(or oldest) in middle school, high school and as college freshman?
I will just throw out that you also need to consider the school district you are in, would most people send a July kid at 5? We sent our July boy at 5 because he was mature for his age and academically ready. We were new to the area and had no idea that THIS IS NOT DONE. So there are 3 or 4 other summer boys in his grade but the preponderance are 9-12+ months older than he. It is a big deal to be 8 amidst boys turning 10 in December. Academically this is not an issue but size-wise and athletically it is a problem. For girls I would imagine it is similar but the differences are social, the young girls are still into pocket ponies while the older girls are getting into boys, etc. Additionally our recreational sports teams are by birthday not by grade, so being in a redshirting milieu means he plays soccer with kids who are mostly a grade below him. So not with his friends.
Now as a parent I have to admit that I kind of resent the parents who hold the kids back. Why should kids who are quite a bit older than the standard for the grade be setting the standards for the class? There were a couple of held-back kids in my son's class who were way ahead of everyone else and I couldn't really imagine what the parents had been thinking--did they just want to make sure that their kids were at the top? These kids easily could have been in their proper grade.
People can get really emotional about this topic, so I was going to avoid posting in this thread, but I feel the need to address this^^ notion of "what were the parents thinking--did they just want to make sure their kids were at the top?"
I have a "late summer birthday" boy. When I was pregnant with the child people would ask, "are you gonna wait to start him in school?" I always answered, "well, I want to get to know him first, before I decide..." We would both usually laugh, but seriously! Come on, it depends on the kid, right? Not some preconceived notion of being the biggest, smartest, fastest, or whatever.
But, yeah, we ended up holding him back. He turned 6 about 2 weeks before kindergarten. And, yes, he's always been at the top of his class academically. He could easily be in the grade ahead, academically. But...
This little boy of mine has always been a gifted communicator. You could carry on a conversation with him at 18 months old. He'd tell you his thoughts, feelings and opinions on a variety of subjects. But he's also always been a homebody. This kid--we'd be pulling out of the driveway, on our way to do something fun, and he's ask, "when are we going back home?" He's also always been the most anxious of my four children. If I prepped him too far in advance for an upcoming event or guests or holiday, he'd just work himself into so much worry that he couldn't sleep (like 2-4 yrs old) This was the complete opposite of my oldest child, who wanted to be prepped for every single expected event of the day.
I researched extensively the pros and cons of waiting for him to start kindergarten. I read as much as I could. I talked to many, many teachers and parents. I interviewed preschool teachers, kindergarten teachers, middle school teachers, high school teachers, pediatricians...and our decision came down to this: he wasn't emotionally ready to function in a kindergarten classroom for 7-8 hour a day. He didn't nap, but he needed "down time." He easily lost control of his emotions. Not tantruming. More internal. But it was quite distressing at times. Academically--he was absolutely ready. But he would have been a nervous wreck. We gave him an extra year to develop the confidence and the skills he needed to handle his emotions.
Yes, when he scores 99th percentile on every test, we question if we made the right decision. We've asked every one of his teachers and they all say the same thing: Yes, academically he could absolutely be in the "proper grade" but he would be emotionally overwhelmed.
But this is not something the parents of his classmates would ever see. So they say, "wow! He's so smart and well-spoken and mature!" (And I'm sure they're saying to themselves, or online message boards, "I can't really imagine what the parents are thinking--did they just want to make sure that their kid was at the top? This kid easily could have been in his proper grade!")
But you know what? He would still be ahead if he was in his "proper grade." Because that's what smart kids do--they learn fast. So he might be challenged for six weeks while he caught up. But then what? He'd again be ahead academically. Oh, he's big and athletic, too. And he would still be big and athletic if he was in his "proper grade." But he's happier and more confident and more at ease where he is. So I'm sorry if you "resent" me for doing the right thing for my kid, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.
My son has a Sept 4 bd (today...he's 26!!) and we have a Sept 1 cutoff. He attended preschool but his teachers suggested that I consider holding him back. I had already decided he wasn't ready because his older sister showed me what "ready" looked like. He attended a pre-k program when he was 5 and started K when he was 6. He was always one of the biggest kids in class and a smart reader who remembers everything, but he's also an overly cautious person who would rather observe things before actually taking part so it was a good decision. And after seeing all his friends at his bd bbq yesterday, some of whom he's known since 3rd grade, I can't imagine him having a better social group either.
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I always answered, "well, I want to get to know him first, before I decide..." We would both usually laugh, but seriously! Come on, it depends on the kid, right? Not some preconceived notion of being the biggest, smartest, fastest, or whatever. 
He's also always been the most anxious of my four children. If I prepped him too far in advance for an upcoming event or guests or holiday, he'd just work himself into so much worry that he couldn't sleep (like 2-4 yrs old) This was the complete opposite of my oldest child, who wanted to be prepped for every single expected event of the day.
