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Movies? Dance? Martial arts? Photography lessons? Arts and crafts? Computer programming? Plenty of things that don't involve the outdoors or a cell phone!
Those are nice too, but the OP is trying to foster a love of the outdoors in his children, and that's what my suggestions were aimed at.
Very presumptuous on your part that he doesn't. I'm sure the OP knows whether he is religious or not. Also unless you are the moderator it is not up to you to tell anyone what to post......
Op I hope my post hasn't offended you, it wasn't my intention to do so.
Where did I say he isn't? I didn't.
I said you went with an assumption that he was. Which is what you did.
A simple "if you happen to be religious, church is a great way to make social contacts" would have been more appropriate.
I happen to be Catholic, but I don't go around assuming others share my views and beliefs.
Very presumptuous on your part that he doesn't. I'm sure the OP knows whether he is religious or not. Also unless you are the moderator it is not up to you to tell anyone what to post......
Op I hope my post hasn't offended you, it wasn't my intention to do so.
Hi, I am not offended by church recommendations. We plan to make more efforts in that area. There are some very nice small and friendly ones here. Daughter has put up resistance to the youth groups at them, although in hindsight I did the exact same thing at her age and grade.
Hi, I am not offended by church recommendations. We plan to make more efforts in that area. There are some very nice small and friendly ones here. Daughter has put up resistance to the youth groups at them, although in hindsight I did the exact same thing at her age and grade.
I hear you I didn't want to go when I was a teen either. I do wish I did go after hearing my husband talk about the fun they had.
I hear you I didn't want to go when I was a teen either. I do wish I did go after hearing my husband talk about the fun they had.
I still have painful memories of being forced into a church youth group around 7th grade with kids I did not know, and the first night I was there they made us skip around the room. I wanted to disappear.
I still have painful memories of being forced into a church youth group around 7th grade with kids I did not know, and the first night I was there they made us skip around the room. I wanted to disappear.
Oh no! There are some good ones. My husband's not only had good Bible studies they also went on ski trips and camping trips. He had a lot of fun. My kids had a awesome youth leader who not only planned fun things for them to do but also did local mission trips to the inner city and also local community service.
Why would someone think it was a good idea for teens to skip around the room?
I promise not all are like that.
Those are nice too, but the OP is trying to foster a love of the outdoors in his children, and that's what my suggestions were aimed at.
The daughters aren't interested in the outdoors though. You can't make people enjoy things that they have no interest in. These activities get them off the couch and off the iPad. And photography can absolutely be done outdoors!
I sure as heck wouldn't be letting my kids tell me what to do and where we are moving. You are giving them far too much power.
This.
OP you've moved to a place with what sounds like a different lifestyle than what you were used to, from how you've described it. Whatever "worked" socially in CA may not work in Montana, and your kids may have to adjust how they try to make friends and the things they do/expose themselves to to see if they can meet more people and make some meaningful friendships. You guys made the choice to move there, you will all need to adjust and not expect MT to be like CA.
But let your daughter convince you to move to your old town, where financially you were stained? No way. That's not her decision. As harsh as it may sound, she needs to get over it and just try harder in MT. She's at a tough age and it's only been a year (or two? confused by your OP).
OP you've moved to a place with what sounds like a different lifestyle than what you were used to, from how you've described it. Whatever "worked" socially in CA may not work in Montana, and your kids may have to adjust how they try to make friends and the things they do/expose themselves to to see if they can meet more people and make some meaningful friendships. You guys made the choice to move there, you will all need to adjust and not expect MT to be like CA.
But let your daughter convince you to move to your old town, where financially you were stained? No way. That's not her decision. As harsh as it may sound, she needs to get over it and just try harder in MT. She's at a tough age and it's only been a year (or two? confused by your OP).
She's done 7th grade and is in 8th in MT, so approaching two years.
I was thinking about it and part of the issue is obvious: they were born and raised in one of the "best" places in the country for weather, and, from a child's perspective, best for easy entertainment. They grew up going to Disneyland (like once a month) and going places within an hour's drive like San Diego Zoo, Wild Animal Park, La Brea Tar Pits, amazing beaches and boardwalks, glitzy indoor and outdoor malls, and events like Christmas parties and tree lighting events hosted by in various cities. There were regular birthday parties with friends at "bounce house" specialty party places, etc, etc...
We naturally took all that for granted. Then suddenly we took it all away and replaced it with the opposite extreme. Suddenly there was, by comparison to what they knew, almost nothing to do. There are no children playing outside on our block. Streets are too rough from cold weather damage to scooter (which they used to do all the time in CA), and while for a time my eldest did explore the neighboring woods and gather animal bones, etc, beyond that and going to the library or the tiny mall there isn't much for kids that doesn't involve very intentional and planned outdoor activities with parents (hiking, nature walks, boating, hunting). Certainly some families dive into that, but many don't and there are a lot of bored, idle kids here and major problems with drug abuse (search Montana Meth on YouTube to see a documentary).
They do both go to small dance classes and our youngest goes to girl scouts, but everything is naturally on a much smaller and slower scale than they were used to. People are scarcer, have fewer resources on average, keep to themselves more, and in general everything just takes a lot longer to happen when it does at all. Plus we went from 278 days of sunshine to 151 per year, and I am convinced that weather is one of the biggest influences on human happiness in general (this can be strongly corroborated by statistics).
But as you said, we made this choice, but since I was lucky enough to have a choice at all, I want to be sure these next years of their youth are as safe, healthy and opportunity-laden as possible.
I agree with many here who suggested this could get better. There are signs my eldest is becoming a little happier and starting to make contact with the kids who seem more active and well adjusted. If that is happening, and if we made a massive family effort to truly dive in here and enjoy the amazing outdoor activities (basically, shed our California skin that had it so easy), we could emerge victorious and I could sleep at night knowing I made the right decision for them.
Since moving to MT, my two visits back to CA went like this:
Day one: Wow, it's so sunny and people are so happy and energetic. This is like a big cruise ship!
Day two: In-n-Out Burger and Trader Joe's are all a person needs for food happiness.
...
Day six: This is insane. Why are there so many people living here and why is everything so expensive? They actually build $570k "apartment homes" in the middle of a corporate center. Please don't make me go to Costco ever again. I'm sick of In-n-Out.
Since moving to MT, my two visits back to CA went like this:
Day one: Wow, it's so sunny and people are so happy and energetic. This is like a big cruise ship!
Day two: In-n-Out Burger and Trader Joe's are all a person needs for food happiness.
...
Day six: This is insane. Why are there so many people living here and why is everything so expensive? They actually build $570k "apartment homes" in the middle of a corporate center. Please don't make me go to Costco ever again. I'm sick of In-n-Out.
I don't think that moving back to California would be very good if you find this kind of stuff in only 6 days. I think you need to stay put and simply get into the things that you can do where you are.
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I didn't want to go when I was a teen either. I do wish I did go after hearing my husband talk about the fun they had.
