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If you are disappointed that your kids stare at their devices all day when all of nature is outside, do away with the devices. Provide a model yourself, by disconnecting from the various goggle-boxes and looking up at what is around you.
The upcoming one, when Selective Service will apply to women as well as men.
You do realize that all 18 year olds still have to register, don't you?
Do you really think that from now till the end of time the United States will never again have to resort to conscription to fill out the army?
The point I was trying to make, of course, is that people find themselves thrown into situations where they have to cope with adversity. Coddling kids so they never have to do anything uncomfortable against their will is not in my opinion the way to create adults who can cope with adversity.
I still don't think we know why your daughter isn't fitting in. The best I can tell is that she's not into sports. I was never into sports, went to plenty of smaller/rural schools but still found places to fit in.
Sounds to me like she's holding on to CA too much to see the possibilities of friendships where she is.
She may also have brought a "California girl" attitude with her to Montana and the kids don't like the vibes she gives off....like, maybe, "this hick town" or something to that effect.
Sounds like a bad move to go back to CA, IMO. Her old friends have grown, changed, moved away, etc., and I can promise you it just wouldn't be the same after two years. The suggestion to put her on a plane and let her go back to visit someone in the summer is a good one.
Decent middle or upper middle class neighborhoods with good schools aren't cheap in CA and that could mean the girl living in a cramped apartment would be teased about it if her classmates found out. Ask me how I know LOL.
Her friends have probably changed and moved on, but even if best case scenario they haven't, wanna bet some would drop your daughter like a hot potato as they get older and more status/wealth conscious?
One big disappointment for me moving to MT was I expected my two girls to become enamored by "big" nature here as I am. Despite my best efforts to coax them into doing outdoor activities, they are not. Everything to them seems to be boring, or scary, except staring at electronic screens and shopping. Maybe I'm discounting the unconscious influence it has on them but my impression is they are "over it".
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It's just that there comes a point as a parent that after two years I'm still having to argue and threaten them into simply enjoying nature, and it just seems like what's the point?
Don't give up. Kids retain a lot more than you think, even if they "hate it" at the time. It might have been easier if they already liked outdoorsy things while you were in California, but that ship has sailed. You have to try to come up with activities that they would find fun, which might end up being something you might not think is fun. ATV'ing? Horseback riding? Competitive shooting? Just something to set the hook and get them outdoors, then maybe they can expand into different activities. These could even be done in conjunction with other families, to kill two birds with one stone.
The upcoming one, when Selective Service will apply to women as well as men.
You do realize that all 18 year olds still have to register, don't you?
Do you really think that from now till the end of time the United States will never again have to resort to conscription to fill out the army?
The point I was trying to make, of course, is that people find themselves thrown into situations where they have to cope with adversity. Coddling kids so they never have to do anything uncomfortable against their will is not in my opinion the way to create adults who can cope with adversity.
Again, what upcoming draft? You know something no one else knows?
Yes, I am well aware that once a person reaches 18 that they must register for Selective Service. There's whole generations of people who registered who were never selected....there was no draft!
We haven't used the draft in 40+ years! We've been in conflicts and wars since and not used the draft.
There's a huge difference between having to live somewhere as a teenager and the government pulling your card shipping you off to war! Good grief. Plenty of people grow up with a great deal of adversity and still struggle to cope with adversity as an adult. Every situation and person is different.
Don't give up. Kids retain a lot more than you think, even if they "hate it" at the time. It might have been easier if they already liked outdoorsy things while you were in California, but that ship has sailed. You have to try to come up with activities that they would find fun, which might end up being something you might not think is fun. ATV'ing? Horseback riding? Competitive shooting? Just something to set the hook and get them outdoors, then maybe they can expand into different activities. These could even be done in conjunction with other families, to kill two birds with one stone.
Movies? Dance? Martial arts? Photography lessons? Arts and crafts? Computer programming? Plenty of things that don't involve the outdoors or a cell phone!
Sounds to me like she's holding on to CA too much to see the possibilities of friendships where she is.
She may also have brought a "California girl" attitude with her to Montana and the kids don't like the vibes she gives off....like, maybe, "this hick town" or something to that effect.
Sounds like a bad move to go back to CA, IMO. Her old friends have grown, changed, moved away, etc., and I can promise you it just wouldn't be the same after two years. The suggestion to put her on a plane and let her go back to visit someone in the summer is a good one.
Exactly, more then likely her attitude is keeping her from making friends.
Exactly, more then likely her attitude is keeping her from making friends.
It sounds like you might be assuming what we did, that somehow social groups are the same everywhere and by that we mean the same economic level, the same access to free time and activities, and with parents who can afford to let them do all that.
When you go from a largely middle class county of two million people where the median income is $75k to a town of 20k with a median income of $40k in a state whose entire population totals only one million, options shrink.
I'm starting to believe given her gregarious nature (she is well liked at the school and knows dozens of kids) that this is more or less the norm here. This is my thinking based on two years of observing her other friends and events like birthday parties and public activities.
There are just a lot of people here struggling to make ends meet. Her best friend can barely ever get out even on weekdays or weekends because her parents cannot afford babysitters, so they rely upon her. Many of her school friends think she is rich, which I find amusing because we're anything but.
So the contrast is just so massive that we're struggling to fill a void that would not exist if this had been all she'd ever known.
It's similar to the weather. When you go from a place that has 278 sunny days a year to 151, that is a profound change with lifestyle consequences that mere attitude adjustment doesn't nullify.
All that to say, yes we did miscalculate. But as others have pointed out in this thread, the experience has built character.
Well apparently you don't know that you don't start suggesting churches without knowing if the person is religious. Or at the very least preface it with "if you are religious churches are a possible way of meeting people.
Very presumptuous on your part.
So it did need to be said.
Very presumptuous on your part that he doesn't. I'm sure the OP knows whether he is religious or not. Also unless you are the moderator it is not up to you to tell anyone what to post......
Op I hope my post hasn't offended you, it wasn't my intention to do so.
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