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Daughter was 12. I got her a smart phone around the end of that school year. Her friends were starting to plan things on their own, and texting is their preferred method of communication. The third time one of her friends emailed me (my kids didn't have email at that time) to share plans, I figured it was time.
The funny thing is... she rarely uses it, for anything. At one point, I got another email from one of her friends telling me to have her check her text messages, lol. More recently, though, my husband and I left the kids alone while we went to a parent event. It was nice, and kind of fun, to share a text or two with her while we were out. Kids are all different, so whatever you think works best for you and yours.
My daughter is 11 and started middle school this year. We had always said that she would not get a phone at least until middle school, and we did allow grandma to buy her one for an elementary school graduation gift in June. Several of her friends did already have phones in elementary school, but now in middle school it is true that almost all of the kids have a phone. My daughter uses her phone mainly for texting and games. She does not have any social media yet. And a good amount of her texting is with me or my husband, or with her grandma. I like her to text me when she gets home from school if nobody else is home yet. But she really doesn't even use the phone all that much, and there are days that go by when she doesn't even turn on her phone at all.
She also has a laptop computer assigned to her from the school, which she takes home every night and does most of her schoolwork and homework on. She has no textbooks - everything is on the computer. She uses that thing all the time.
My 8 year old does not have her own phone, but she does use my old phone for playing Pokemon when we go out together, and she will tell you that it is "her phone" even though that is all she uses it for. She does also have an ipad that she uses at home. It's not supposed to be just hers, but she is the only one who uses it, so it is functionally hers.
My kids got smart phones when they started going places without me. The school was terrible about getting messages to them about carpool or changes in after school pickup, so I decided I had to do it myself. Smart phone were cheaper than dumb phones. Neither has a social media account of any kind. They play games on them, which is no different than other hand-held games that have been around for a long time. We also don't have a home phone anymore, so they need a phone of some kind. They also use them for class work occasionally. ETA they also have an app for that sends messages, often last minute, about their sports teams. Necessary? No. A convenience for all of us? Yes.
There have been numerous threads on this over the years. I doubt this one will be any different.
One reason I don't think a phone is necessary yet is our school system is pretty good with communication such as school lock downs, weather events, and schedule changes they would call us with automated messages that goes out very quickly. My son was sick last year and the school contacted my wife to pick him up.
That's why I am on the fence regarding giving him a personal device until I see maturity and responsibility.
iPhone are very, very hard to put real solid protection on. They make some (like circle) but once they leave the house its over. The apps are usually cumbersome and don't always function and kids can work around them. And even more, the apps that hide what people are doing on their phones are far more advanced.
I really want to get a phone with more features like GPS, ability to have some apps and dumb phones don't have. I feel like the market is there for a more teen/tween safe smart phone, but it doesn't seem to be where the market is heading.
This is just not true. Many good parental controls are native, not external and the iphone has good parental controls. If you want a secondary app for logging go ahead but at a minimum:
1. Disable downloading apps.
2. Use parent restrictions to turn off adult websites or any website with banned language.
3. Pick any other features you want blocked like facetime or location services.
4. Make all of this passcode restricted.
My daughter is 11 years old and does not have a phone, and I currently have no intention of getting her one in the foreseeable future.
Of course, she complains. Recently I made a comment that the cost of the monthly charges on most peoples' cell phone/smartphone plans was comparable to the monthly charges on one of her sporting activities. She said she would rather have her activity. Sometimes it is a little annoying for me communicating with other parents via text message to coordinate get-togethers for the kids, etc. I would rather my daughter take care of that herself, but overall it's a lesser of evils.
A number of years ago when many other people were making comments about how old my car was, I made a comment that I could buy a new car, or spend money on high-quality summer camps for her and her sister throughout their elementary school years. Kids, of course, are influenced by what they hear from others, but in my opinion, the best thing a parent can do is interact with their kids and help them develop their minds.
If he doesn't have access to a home phone, and he doesn't have access to a cell phone, how does he talk to his friends?
My son meet his friends in school or the nearby park to play. My youngest son who is 10 says his friends are all online on Roblox the game. So I think the times have changed, more and more kids will meet their friends online like on Xbox or some type of online games. I do monitor my kids of their activities online and have time limits on their PCs.
As for phones, I have no problem giving their friends our phone numbers. If they need to call them just call me and I'll hand over the phone. I personally aren't glued to my phone all day except on the commuter train.
I hope to hold off on the smartphone for a few years yet but it is difficult when so many children my daughter's age (6) have them already. She has a GPS gadget that I can call her on because she walks to school alone/plays out but I plan on getting a 'dumb' phone (hooray for good old Nokias) in the next year or two so she can call and text friends (she'll be at the age when kids go hang out in town together or other activities without adults so a phone to arrange things means she won't be left out hopefully) but not have access to the internet.
Just buy her a cheap smartphone. Everyone in class will have one anyway, and sucks to be the only kid who can't use whatsapp, so she will start begging for one.
Just buy her a cheap smartphone. Everyone in class will have one anyway, and sucks to be the only kid who can't use whatsapp, so she will start begging for one.
Meh maybe, shall wait and see when everyone in the class gets phones. She needs to start taking better care of her belongings before she gets one anyway.
My son who is only 12 says almost every kid in his class has a smartphone so they can reach their parents.
I told my son, when I was 12. The only time I call my parents is if I was in trouble or I was hurt.
My son has near perfect attendance like me when I was his age. His generation having a smartphone is like having a best friend.
Now, I don't think it's healthy to be constantly on the web or interacting with these devices for more than 5 hours a day. I think it leads to addiction and the withdraw symptoms such as kids being disinterest in regular family activities.
My wife wants me to give him a device so he can reach us if something is wrong. I said the school has phones for free at the office. So I don't think there's a "need" to give my son one yet. Maybe when he's 16 and he regularly goes out with friends.
What do you folks think?
Here's my $.02.
Get the kid a phone. Just make sure they have an understanding of when they need to have it put away. My 16yr old- who has had hers since she was 5 - would never (for example) consider having her phone out at the table. She sits with us all of the time and watches shows/movies with us and again would never have it out. It is all in what you teach them.
As he goes into highschool he'll need it more and more. Teachers (at least here anyway) use apps to give kids homework assignment info as well as class updates, etc
In my personal opinion the only argument for NOT doing it is simply that as a parent you dont want them to have one which obviously is your prerogative. Aside from that there is no single "right" answer
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