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This may come as a surprise, but sometimes kids deliberately make stuff up or unconsciously confabulate. What might be his motivation (consciously or unconsciously) to do so? Does he want you to forbid him to go to that house? Does he need you to talk to him about drugs?...
I know they do. I have one like that so it's no surprise. He had never been that type. I had to pull out of him the reason he came home and seemed upset as he went to his room and said he didn't want to talk about it. He knows all about drugs, but just not how deals are done, lol.
If something made your son uncomfortable and something or your feelings sense something isn't right trust your instincts. Obviously don't gossip about them or accuse them of doing drugs or selling them.
If your son's friend invites him over either just say no, you don't have to explain why or have your son say let's come to my house instead. If you need some excuse have your son say that the smell of cigarettes smoke really bothers him.
If something made your son uncomfortable and something or your feelings sense something isn't right trust your instincts. Obviously don't gossip about them or accuse them of doing drugs or selling them.
If your son's friend invites him over either just say no, you don't have to explain why or have your son say let's come to my house instead. If you need some excuse have your son say that the smell of cigarettes smoke really bothers him.
..... In any event, my 10 year old doesn't feel comfortable playing at their house and we don't feel comfortable with it either. The boy is more than welcome at our house any time and comes over often. What I was wondering was how my son should respond to the boy when he is inevitably invited back to his place because, "I suspect your parents might do drugs" doesn't seem like the appropriate answer and he is worried about what to say so I thought I'd ask for some feedback.
I think this is one of those situations where a little white lie may be justified to avoid going to the house but still save face and maintain the friendship. You and your son might say that your son appears to have been having some kind of mild allergic reactions to "something" unknown in the house or possibly out in the yard after each time he has been there.
An example is - Itchy eyes, itchy skin, tickly throat, slight shortness of breath, that sort of thing. Nothing visibly obvious or too physically distressing but still not something that you want to risk getting worse with repeated exposure.
There are any number of unidentified things that can cause allergic reactions so you wouldn't have to pinpoint exactly what allergen you think might be the culprit. You said there are cigarette smokers in the house so a specific brand of cigarettes, or cigarettes ashes and fine ash dust floating in the air could be considered a possible allergen and it's a feasible explanation to fall back on to avoid going indoors.
Back in the 1970's,I would garner a wonderful friendship with a new girl.at school. She was hilarious and smart to boot! Sadly her home life was bizarre. Her stunningly attractive mom was a coke head. She had a revolving door of men. She was a single parent. Had I even told my parent....That would have been the end of our friendship. It would be yearsssss later that I would come to find out just how much our friendship meant to her. She was an only child...Seeming to raise her mom..And not really have a soul to rely on.
You bet I knew of the moms drug use...And it would be 16 yrs later that I would be sitting in a rehab for my own disease.
Would I want this experience for my kids? Yes and no. Yes for the friendship.....And no for what path such drugs lure you into.
At ten I knew 'of 'drugs...( City raised)...
Speak openly about this with your son..And if it means anything..Your son may be that positive friendship the neighbor boy needs.
"we are trying to figure out how to address it when he is inevitably invited"
You'd be surprised how many people literally never return the invitation, but also, I'd just politely decline repeatedly. "No thanks, we're doing something later, but your son is welcome to come over. Oh no, it's no problem, he just prefers to play here."
No need to mention drugs. Your son isn't comfortable. Even if it's not drugs, he should trust his instincts and they should respect that, end of story.
Listen to the people here. Obviously you're son saw something he wasn't comfortable with over there even if it wasn't necessarily a drug deal. I wouldn't let him go back there, there's no need for it. Obviously something doesn't add up, whatever it might be.
the other kid may have said something to your son? All the beer cans lying around the house would be a red flag to me. I would be concerned if my son was visiting a home with drunks around, more so then some pot heads. Drunks have a habit of doing some crazy crap , without a care in the world.
If your son does not want to go over there, let him choose. Is there another friend around, or a park to hang out at. I
I highly doubt there was actually a drug deal going on with the words "drug deal" spoken. LOL
That being said, if your kid is uncomfortable, then it's perfectly fine to just host the friend at your house and politely decline invitations for your son to go there. If they're lax about knowing where their own 10 year old is, then I probably wouldn't want my kid going over there anyway.
People don't talk like that when doing a drug deal. If the words "drug dealer" were used, it probably wasn't about a drug deal. It was probably gossip about so and so being a drug dealer or something like that. Try to find out more about the exact wording of the conversation if you really want to get to the bottom of it.
I agree 100%.
I used to be addicted to heroin and bought dope every day for over a year, I can honestly say I never ever used the word drug or drug dealer in any phone conversation, usually no term is used, the person he is calling knows what he wants already, usually the only thing discussed is where and when to meet and how much you want to spend, and normally there are many ways to disguise those things in a phone conversation.
Below is a how a typical drug deal goes...
Buyer calls or texts...hey whats up, I need $50.
Dealer....................Yes, meet me at burger king parking lot in about an hour
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