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I have toddler twins (16 months) and have been a sahm with them up until this point. I am considering finding a job and starting my career again. I never intended to be a SAHM, but with twins and moving so much it was just more financially feasible to stay at home.
I am TORN. We checked out a daycare yesterday and I just don't know if I can do that to them. Here is my pros and cons:
Pros:
I am not that good at play...I think the daycare could teach them a great deal that I just can not.
They will have others to play with...Since we are new to the area we do not have any playdates or anything. I did join a Moms club but all of the playdates for their age group are FULL! (That was the main reason I joined!)
It gives me a chance to find myself again...to feel like a productive adult again. I worked VERY hard to get my degree and graduate with honors and have not been able to do anything with it. (I was a returning adult student...when I graduated we ended up moving around a lot thus no real job)
Cons:
I will miss them dearly.
They will get sick a lot.
One can never be sure how your child is being treated and no one can replace mom and/or dad's love.
I will lose myself even more and be less fun of a mom.
THoughts? Here is the thing...my kids are at a weird age. They can walk and such but are too little to do a lot. AND, b/c I have twins it is difficult (impossible, really) to take them to parks and such b/c one adult can't watch two toddler children the same age-they go in different directions which makes it dangerous to take them to parks. Even in the mall jungle gym...can't go without my husband b/c we need to have constant visual and again they go in opposite directions. I am hoping summer would help so we could go out in the backyard and play on the swing set...but I can't even take them to the pool by myself.
ARGH. I just don't know what to do!
I think you could take them to the pool by yourself. At our community pool there are always a million kids and adults, plus two lifeguards, and everyone sort of watches whoever is around them!!
Plus, does your local pool have a fenced in "kiddie pool" area??
I've had a very positive daycare experience with my daughter after having all of the same feeling you listed in your cons before putting her there. She's 2 now and has been there since she was 4 months old. She has gotten sick, but I wouldn't say a lot or with much more that a really bad cold. Right now she has an ear infection. You're right nobody will love your kids like you do, but if you find the right daycare provider (we went with a family daycare provider who watches a total of 5 children in her home), you would be surprised at how much they become like an aunt or even a grandparent to your child. My daughter's "Debba" absolutely adores my child. There has not been one day in the 2 years I have brought her there that my daughter has not been thrilled to see Debba or the other kids at daycare. She has been an absolute blessing in our lives. I miss my daughter everyday, but when I walk in to get her and she is excited to see me, and even more excited to show me what she's done that day, I know she's in good hands while I'm working.
I'm not trying to pressure you to go back to work, but before the onslaught of "you should stay with your children" posts begin , I wanted to be a positive voice on the side of a wonderful daycare experience. I wish you good luck in your decision and search for a provider should you decide to definately go back to work.
I also became a SAHM simply because, at the time, we realized all my income would go to daycare, so it didn't seem worth it. But, originally, I was going to go back to work at the end of my maternity leave. I loved being home with my daughter, and I wouldn't give up that experience. But having worked for so many years in a profession I enjoyed, it was an adjustment.
Once my daughter reached 3, I wanted her to have the opportunity to separate from me. I also found a home day care/preschool for her, which was the best solution for us. She loved her caregivers - a mother and daughter team, and had 7 playmates. To this day (she's 7), she talks about Miss Diane and how much fun she had with her. I would check out all options, and find something that works for you. You will be a better parent if you are happy as well.
I also became a SAHM simply because, at the time, we realized all my income would go to daycare, so it didn't seem worth it. But, originally, I was going to go back to work at the end of my maternity leave. I loved being home with my daughter, and I wouldn't give up that experience. But having worked for so many years in a profession I enjoyed, it was an adjustment.
Once my daughter reached 3, I wanted her to have the opportunity to separate from me. I also found a home day care/preschool for her, which was the best solution for us. She loved her caregivers - a mother and daughter team, and had 7 playmates. To this day (she's 7), she talks about Miss Diane and how much fun she had with her. I would check out all options, and find something that works for you. You will be a better parent if you are happy as well.
SO...when did you get into real estate? that is a path I would love to take...but can one do it part time? (I read the thread where most said you can't but I would think if you were smart about the people you represent then you could carve out a nice pc of business) I want to do it so badly...just worried about the upfront fees and such and finding business.
I am a SAHM of a 4 year old and a 2 year old...There are days I would LOVE to go back to work and be productive...have an income and just focus on adult job responsibility again...But,,,My kids are only going to be this little for a couple of years...I just can not bring myself to miss this time in their lives...It really is a short amount of time to stay home...So I have decided to stay home and enjoy them while I can. It will all be over way too soon...
Good luck with your decision...I hope you find what works best for you and your family.
I am a SAHM of a 4 year old and a 2 year old...There are days I would LOVE to go back to work and be productive...have an income and just focus on adult job responsibility again...But,,,My kids are only going to be this little for a couple of years...I just can not bring myself to miss this time in their lives...It really is a short amount of time to stay home...So I have decided to stay home and enjoy them while I can. It will all be over way too soon...
Good luck with your decision...I hope you find what works best for you and your family.
So, what do you do with your kids all day? I think that is my biggest problem...don't know what to do with them. I don't want them watching tv all day and there are only so many places to go (we go to the mall about once a week and maybe target once a week...other than that we don't have anything to do) What can one do with 16 month old kids? Mine won't sit still to color, they hate playdough (guessing they are too young?), and even though we have a TON of toys, they get bored easily. THis is my day:
7:30-they get up...have some milk watch tv
8:30-breakfast
9-10 playtime on the first floor. (but they get bored playing with the toys and I can only play with them so much...about 15 minutes playing with a truck and I am done)
10-nap...BUT they are giving this up, so what I will do between 10 and 11:30 I have NO CLUE
11:30-lunch
noon-they watch teletubbies and maybe Barney while I eat.
12:45-playtime in the finished basement with different toys. Again, bored.
1:30ish-nap. (they only nap about an hour to an hour and a half)
3-snack
4-bath and play on second floor in their bedrooms with some books. (again, bored)
5:30-daddy is home and he takes over.
HELP! I need some ideas, lol!
What do YOU need to do during the day? Maybe you can incorporate some of your stuff into their playtime. My daughter liked playing with the socks while I folded laundry, or taking the clothes out of the basket and handing them to me to fold. She LOVED (and still does) being the helper. Do they entertain each other? If they play well with their toys together, then why not just let them play and if you're bored do something else. I don't think it's necessary for you to be interacting with them 100% of the time you're with them. Learning how to play independently is just as important as you playing and teaching them things-IMO anyway. Um, what else...magnets on the fridge where a big hit at that age, that would keep her busy for a while. Go for walks-good excercise for you nice site seeing for them.
Don't feel bad about wanting to go back to work. Your kids will do FINE in daycare. And you might be surprised that they don't get sick as often as you think, because they will be building up good immunities by socializing with other kids, it's GOOD for them!
Just the fact that you are worried about it and thinking about it tells me that you're a good parent and that you will give your kids plenty of motherly attention when you are home. It's not like you're just dumping them with a sitter so that you can go and goof off.
Don't worry, it will work out. They'll be fine, and they'll probably deal with it a lot better than you will at first
thanks...
I guess I do focus on entertaining them too much. I feel like we don't "talk" a lot but b/c they have each other they tend to go off with one another, lol!.
anyway, thanks again
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, I wanted to be a positive voice on the side of a wonderful daycare experience. I wish you good luck in your decision and search for a provider should you decide to definately go back to work.
