What to do when one in a pair of siblings is clearly superior?

[Vegabern]

Originally Posted by waffleiron1968

0/2.

These are full siblings. Would never do the 'step parent' thing. A man should take care of his own responsibilities. I am a traditionalist in this respect.

I'll be sure to let my sister-in-law she's doing a terrible thing by raising her step-son along with his father after his mother died .

[LVKim8]

Originally Posted by waffleiron1968

I wish people would not jump to ridiculous conclusions.

It was not a troll post. I am nigh-on 50 FFS and do not reply asap as I actually work for a living. I'm a humble civil servant. To those who are hypothesizing that I am taking out my own 'failure' on others - wrong, I did well academically and pretty well socially. I have a decent university education, a decent job and a decent personal life.

This is about not wanting someone to fail in life. It comes from a position of concern. We can all pretend everyone has equal abilities but that is just not true. Why pretend someone is a proverbial Joe Louis or Muhammad Ali when they are just a Bonecrusher Smith?

This is not about 'unfair treatment'. Everyone gets treated equally, some just have more self determination and the desire to make it in life. One has just finished HS and started college and the other is at the tail-end of the HS journey. Silly suggestions like 'adoption' are not worthy of acknowledgment save to the extent that they show the person who suggested it to be irrational.

I have sought strategies before to motivate a person. The individual is not without abilities: physically blessed with good height and strength, but between the ears is a vacuum or at least a vacuum as far as long term planning aspects of the mind go.

I hope my judgement is wrong but I see what I see.

But it's not your judgement a child needs, it's your support. The best way to motivate someone is the meet them where they are, inspire them to find their likes/passions and follow them while not worrying about 'measuring up' to what their parent may think is the definition of success. Also, remember there are many late bloomers out there who achieved success later in life. Michael Jordan did not make his high school's varsity basketball team (they told him was a too short), Steve Jobs was fired from Apple only to come back later and make the company great, Henry Ford struggled until he came up with the Model T at age 45. The list is endless with examples from all walks of life. Just let him know he has your unwavering support. That itself will make more difference than you know.

[Trump_Tower]

Originally Posted by waffleiron1968

2 siblings, similar age but one is clearly smarter, more diligent, more blessed as far as appearance goes and has a winning personality. A clear case of a long term winner vs someone who unless he is proverbially kicked in the butt regularly will amount to mediocrity at best.

How can anyone even give the impression of liking both equally?

How to motivate the loser?

The amount of inner contempt you have for this "loser" child is astounding. How do you motivate the loser? I don't know. Tell us how you motivate yourself!

[waffleiron1968]

Update:

One continues to thrive as always. What a champ!
The other was spoken to in real terms and has upped his game. Will get a proper education and be ok.

[kitty61]

Given that the parents of the two children are the ones who will be nurturing them, the reality of parental love in a perfect world would be to treat both as equally beautiful creations. Every single individual born has an innate capability and will contribute to our community whether in higher learning or solely through the positive influence of their presence in the lives of others.