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I have spent the majority of my adult life at family gatherings down the hall, upstairs, in a bedroom; with an either nursing or sleeping baby.
I would never expect the world (or dinner, party, holiday, etc ..) to revolve around me & baby. Besides; it's a set-up to fail. Unfamiliar places, people, noises & routines=not a good nap. Not a good nap=very fussy baby. You have to pick your battles.
What? You've never heard of a grandparents asking that their grandchild be removed from the main room of the party/celebration? What if the baby is screaming & crying "it's lungs out" and no one else can hear each other talk? What if the baby is a light sleeper, are all of the other adults and children be expected to whisper and tiptoe in the main room of the party so that they don't wake the baby? And, what about if the baby has a messy dirty diaper? Are all of the other party quests supposed to be expected to "watch and enjoy" when the diaper is changed right in the middle of the living room floor? (don't laugh, I've seen new parents do that numerous times).
It is not like the grandparents are discriminating against the baby, it is that the host and hostess (who happen to be grandparents of one of the guests is making the party/celebration a fun event for every one of their guests not just one guest (the baby).
There were 20 plus people, including several families that came from out of state, and rarely see each other, at yesterdays July 4th celebration. Do you really think that the "rights" of one new born baby trumped the rights, and confort of every other guest?
Its a baby for gods sake and a member of the family. if my baby was screaming yes Id take it outside to calm the situation down.. but grannies I know dont seem upset or bothered by their own grandchild crying...and would help out..
yup! In my home we are not age discriminate or annoyed by the sounds of a little one. Sure we want to respect the cooing sounds of a drifting baby. But "ORDERING" a Guest to leave an area is rather harsh.
I have guided the ones with walking legs to feel free to meander and re join in another area ...but the little one is welcomed to drift off and enjoy our banter....
Our family though is made for drifting babies ...they enjoy the sounds of voices ...to the little ones...silence equals abandonment..and the little ones do so enjoy feeling secured.
The comfort of the guests is the responsibility of the hosts. If a guest needs to be counseled, that's the responsibility of the hosts. If the hosts feel a guest's actions are acceptable, that's still the responsibility of the hosts. If a guest feels the host is wrong, the guest can complain to the host. If he still disagrees with the host, he can leave.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,633 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk
The comfort of the guests is the responsibility of the hosts. If a guest needs to be counseled, that's the responsibility of the hosts. If the hosts feel a guest's actions are acceptable, that's still the responsibility of the hosts. If a guest feels the host is wrong, the guest can complain to the host. If he still disagrees with the host, he can leave.
You sound like a hotel manager. ;D
This is a family.
The dynamics are different. There are favorites. There are people who are annoyed more easily than anyone else. There are people who won't notice that it's an inconvenience, or feel the mother was glaring at them.
So the parent corrected them and you are complaining about that too.
Can’t please all the people all the time or some of them any of the time. If things are so annoying, why does the OP even go?
And I call BS on the grandparents always wanting to host. They probably host because no one else steps up to give them a day off. Hopefully they’ll wise up and start to insist other people take a turn. Going to someone’s home multiple times a week, never reciprocating, and then complaining that things aren’t to your liking. Just Wow.
The dynamics are different. There are favorites. There are people who are annoyed more easily than anyone else. There are people who won't notice that it's an inconvenience, or feel the mother was glaring at them.
People who "annoyed more easily than anyone else" are themselves the primary annoyance. The fact that it's not a hotel means "the customer is always right" does not apply.
It would be a poor host who would allow the least tolerant guest to control everyone else's activities, whether home or hotel. The difference is that the family host doesn't have to be tactful while telling off the intolerant family guest.
Can’t please all the people all the time or some of them any of the time. If things are so annoying, why does the OP even go?
And I call BS on the grandparents always wanting to host. They probably host because no one else steps up to give them a day off. Hopefully they’ll wise up and start to insist other people take a turn. Going to someone’s home multiple times a week, never reciprocating, and then complaining that things aren’t to your liking. Just Wow.
Error. Yet another fail post. No one goes there multiple times per week.
Everyone lives in same town. See each other several times a week. Unfinished basement packed with boxes. 95 degrees with ridiculous humidity outside. Family room only area for everyone to congregate
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme
Error. Yet another fail post. No one goes there multiple times per week.
You see each other several (aka multiple) times a week in a place with an unfinished basement packed with boxes, but that’s not the Grandparents home? Yeah, sure.
You see each other several (aka multiple) times a week in a place with an unfinished basement packed with boxes, but that’s not the Grandparents home? Yeah, sure.
Having a hard time today?
I fail to see how 3 families living in the same town that see each other every week automatically are at one location EVERY SINGLE TIME they see each other...
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