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I am quite close to a lovely young lady who is entering her senior year of high school. She gets average to slightly above average grades, is involved in two high school sports (co-captain on one team) and has had a summer job at a local camp the last few years. She is a great kid, smart, well mannered, kind. But has no interest in any post high school plans.
She is already taking 2 college courses per semester at a local community college through a program at her high school and does well but does not like being on a college campus because she is away from all of her friends for part of the day.
Each time any one brings up the college search she refuses to discuss it. Doesn't want high school to end and has not seemed to be investigating any schools for future plans. She will take the SAT this summer but no interest in selecting schools to apply to.
Some of her friends seem to be thinking the same way but they do seem to be making some headway into making some college plans. I asked about how her guidance counselor is helping but get vague answers.
It baffles me that she has no interest in post high school plans. At her age, I could not wait to get out of the house and spread my wings and live away from home. My mantra when I was selecting schools was to be far enough to be away from home, near enough to come home with the laundry. I went to college 2 hours away from home and came home once every 4-6 weeks or so to see family and friends when they were home too. Nearly all my classmates went to college and we all shared the same sentiment - could not wait to get away from home.
Is it a "thing" with this generation of kids that they don't want high school to end and have minimal interest in making post high school plans? I am just figuring that her peer group will eventually make plans and go off to college late next summer and when Sept 1 2019 rolls around she will look up and realize her summer camp job is over and all of her friends are gone and maybe she better figure something out. Better late than never and maybe by waiting she will making a more well thought out decision.
Are other parents of high school juniors and seniors facing the same thing? Do you force them to make decisions or do you just wait it out and let them come to it when they are ready? I just don't get it.
I am quite close to a lovely young lady who is entering her senior year of high school. She gets average to slightly above average grades, is involved in two high school sports (co-captain on one team) and has had a summer job at a local camp the last few years. She is a great kid, smart, well mannered, kind. But has no interest in any post high school plans.
She is already taking 2 college courses per semester at a local community college through a program at her high school and does well but does not like being on a college campus because she is away from all of her friends for part of the day.
Each time any one brings up the college search she refuses to discuss it. Doesn't want high school to end and has not seemed to be investigating any schools for future plans. She will take the SAT this summer but no interest in selecting schools to apply to.
Some of her friends seem to be thinking the same way but they do seem to be making some headway into making some college plans. I asked about how her guidance counselor is helping but get vague answers.
It baffles me that she has no interest in post high school plans. At her age, I could not wait to get out of the house and spread my wings and live away from home. My mantra when I was selecting schools was to be far enough to be away from home, near enough to come home with the laundry. I went to college 2 hours away from home and came home once every 4-6 weeks or so to see family and friends when they were home too. Nearly all my classmates went to college and we all shared the same sentiment - could not wait to get away from home.
Is it a "thing" with this generation of kids that they don't want high school to end and have minimal interest in making post high school plans? I am just figuring that her peer group will eventually make plans and go off to college late next summer and when Sept 1 2019 rolls around she will look up and realize her summer camp job is over and all of her friends are gone and maybe she better figure something out. Better late than never and maybe by waiting she will making a more well thought out decision.
Are other parents of high school juniors and seniors facing the same thing? Do you force them to make decisions or do you just wait it out and let them come to it when they are ready? I just don't get it.
It's not a thing in my community.
I have always thought the dual-enrollment plan during senior year is a mistake, and she may be thinking that "college" is what she sees at her community college.
At least she's working and involved in stuff, but she may be TOO ensconsed in her comfort zone. Once sports are done, she will have a LOT of time on her hands. Either way, it will work itself out. Not everyone has the same plan, and she obviously still needs to think about hers some more.
At the very least, I'd be taking her on some college visits.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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I think it's always been a "thing" with some kids. There is a group from my high school who never left town (I guess most went to college, but nearby, and then got back as soon as they could). They still have the same friends, and same grudges as they did in high school. And get them talking, and they're talking about band camp still, or winning at football.
What are her favorite subjects in school? What has she excelled at, if anything? The college-selection task could be presented as an opportunity to study a favorite subject in depth.
Some students drag their feet at this task. A few are doing college searches in their junior year, others don't get motivated until their senior year. Have her closer friends made any choices? Her parents could find out where her friends are going, or where they're planning to apply, and suggest she could follow a couple of her friends to the same school, so she won't be alone. If her grades are mediocre, she won't have a lot fo choices, anyway. It sounds like she's never really been interested in academics, as much as the sports & social side of schooling?
A year is a long time to a teen. Somewhere later in the year, she will start to think more about the future.
One thing for sure. College is expensive and if I had a kid who was indifferent to college, I wouldn't pay to send them. That would be a huge waste of money.
Suggest to her that if she enjoys high school so much, she might consider a teaching credential and getting a job teaching high school.
By the way, only the most desirable universities close enrollment early, and they only accept the top students. If she has no desire for college, there is no reason to apply in September. After she graduates, she can find some junior college that will take her.
I was the same way actually. Well, I did have a plan after high school, but i do get it. Adulthood is hard and not all it's cracked up to be.if she's having a good childhood, which i did, its hard to let go. But, yes kids should have some sort of plan.
I have always thought the dual-enrollment plan during senior year is a mistake, and she may be thinking that "college" is what she sees at her community college.
Why is that? My son took advantage of it (not through a community college) and began his university years with 42 credits behind him. He was then able to devote time to research projects that propelled him into his current PhD program. And here in GA, those dual enrollment classes are free, which can save a lot of tuition dollars over the next four years.
I only know of two boys who didn't have their college plans set before graduating high school. They both ended up enlisting once their friends all left.
Are other parents of high school juniors and seniors facing the same thing? Do you force them to make decisions or do you just wait it out and let them come to it when they are ready? I just don't get it.
As a parent it is our responsibility to ensure that our children are being brought up to be self sufficient adults. This "girl" will be an adult soon. The parents should have laid down the rules many years ago and if they didn't they are part of the problem!
And as far as I am concerned, once high school is over you either go to college or you get a full time job and pay your own expenses (meaning move out).
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