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I had my last child at 43. I felt fine! Definitely was more mature than in my twenties/thirties. The "baby" is turning 20 and husband and I are delighted with our family of six. I don't look older than most of his friends' parents, but life experiences are definitely very different; dealing with care of elderly parents and their deaths, marriages of older siblings, etc. You have to do what is best for you.
We had our daughter when my wife was 38 and I was 42. So we were late to the parent game.
Sure we don't have the energy of younger parents, but on the other hand we do have more resources to devote to her as we have more financial assets and income available
And like emm74, I had a lot of life experiences and travel before having a kid - including living internationally.
My son and his wife put off starting a family until they were both over 30. He is going to be 34 this year, I think she is about the same age, maybe a year younger.
They are trying now but in the course of researching how long they could put it off, found that she already has a 30% lower chance of becoming pregnant in her early 30s than I did when I had my son at age 26.
The biological clock is real, and it is ticking. More and more women ARE putting motherhood off until they are in their 30s - and more and more of them are finding out they have screwed the pooch and they passed up all their opportunities. The risk of infertility rises pretty steeply after age 30, as well as all other facets of pregnancy becoming riskier and harder. By the time a woman hits 40, she has a 5% chance of getting pregnant.
And another poster mentioned energy - yes. Kids are energy vampires. Before my son was born, I had plenty of energy. Afterwards - HE had it all, LOL!
It's increasingly tough to get established and financially able in one's 20s to have children for a variety of reasons. I'm 32. I didn't get my first "career track" job until I was 28. The days are gone where two 18 year olds can get married, work their way up, and have kids a few years later.
OP, a friend of mine had 3 kids spread over about 12 years; the first one--when she was a grad student in her later 20's, the last went off to college when the mom was about 60. She was unfazed at being a mom through her 50's. Being a mom in no way stopped her from traveling; she just took her kids along with her. Most of her travel was to China, for study or work/research, so her kids grew up having a familiarity with Chinese. There were at least two all-year stints in China, too. Kids don't have to slow you down.
Does your company offer any options for staffing a foreign office temporarily? That would be one way to fit travel into your life, with a child, if your spouse would be able to go along.
I’m a single, almost 30, female, and lately have been giving myself a hard time about not having a child by now. My “plan” was to have kids by the time I was 30 so they could leave the house at an age where I won’t be in my 50s and so I could retire early to travel the world. Well, life wanted me to instead land a dream job at a Fortune 100 Company and these last several years have been about growing within the company (which I’m definitely not complaining about).
I guess I’m wanting to get thoughts from others who had children in their 30s and the pros/reasons of why you are glad you waited. This subject has been really getting to me as all my FB friends seem to be having children all at once and I just saw a commercial where the average age of a woman to have her first child is 28.
I don't know if you're married or not or have a partner. I always thought I'd have a bunch of kids, because I LOVE children. They're just fun little people. But 35 rolled around and I didn't have a serious relationship or really want one and I realized my life was pretty full without kids. I don't want to make the sacrifices I see as necessary to be a good parent; and I also think two parents are optimal. But I enjoy my single and child-free life quite a bit. I like things just the way they are.
You talk about your plan. I'd say chuck it and figure out what works for you NOW at this moment in your life. If you do some soulsearching, you might not even want kids.
I find the OP funny as most everybody I went to high school with in California seems to have waited until their early to mid 30's or later to have kids. Here in Texas people certainly start younger. I once dreamed of being a young mother to a large family, well, that ship has sailed -- to Tahiti. I'm now working with the opportunities I actually have.
I was told I could not get pregnant without in vitro at age 32. We decided we'd be the happy childless couple.
Boy, were the doctors wrong. I fell pregnant naturally for the first time at age 36, and realized that I wasn't happy about being childless after all.
It takes a minimum of 2-3 early miscarriages before they test you for reasons why, because it's much cheaper to put women through a ton of emotional pain than it is to test everybody's blood. It turns out I have a genetic blood clotting disorder to go along with my Graves' Disease and PCOS (i.e. my hormones/endocrine system are totally messed up). 1 in 20 white women have the disorder I have, and there are a host of other clotting disorders they test you for as well. I believe the aftermath of my radioactive iodine treatment for Graves' in my late 20's (gained 50 pounds in 2 years without changing diet, PCOS onset) led to my infertility problems and caused me to stop ovulating for several years. As I slowly dropped the pounds and my body returned to "normal," so too did my fertility.
I've fallen pregnant naturally and easily 6 times, this last time at age 40. I lost the first two due to untreated blood clots in the placenta, had one chemical, one empty sac, and one where my lining was too thin after implantation. I'm 17 weeks along now, and all of my doctors have been extremely optimistic about this pregnancy from the very first scan.
I'm certainly not suggesting you wait until you're 40, but I don't think you've waited too long at all! I have a lot of extra health challenges you probably don't have.
Somebody asked me if I have thyroid disease - I do, I mentioned it by name in my post. Graves' Disease is a kind of hyperthyroidism, and since my thyroid was removed, I am now clinically hypothyroid.
The US average age for women to marry for the first time is 27. That means almost half of all women get married for the first time when they are older than 27. You are still in the median range for marriage - hopefully kids come after.
I’m a single, almost 30, female, and lately have been giving myself a hard time about not having a child by now. My “plan” was to have kids by the time I was 30 so they could leave the house at an age where I won’t be in my 50s and so I could retire early to travel the world. Well, life wanted me to instead land a dream job at a Fortune 100 Company and these last several years have been about growing within the company (which I’m definitely not complaining about).
I guess I’m wanting to get thoughts from others who had children in their 30s and the pros/reasons of why you are glad you waited. This subject has been really getting to me as all my FB friends seem to be having children all at once and I just saw a commercial where the average age of a woman to have her first child is 28.
Had my first child at age 33 and second at age 35. My sister had hers at 40 and 42, respectively. There are no pros or cons to waiting or not having the opportunity to have them sooner. The AVERAGE is an average for a reason - there are women much younger than 28 and much older than 28 having kids.
I'll bet a few of your married mom friends look at your life and think, "Wow - she has really done fantastic things and has an amazing career. I never get to do exciting things like her."
I have a few friends my age (late 40s) that are single, never-married, no-kids, career-minded women and they have great lives. One travels ALL THE TIME and even recently took a 5-week trip to travel to all 50 states. I was so jealous reading about her travels and told her next time she does it I want to hop on and do part of it with her if I'm able to.
I think the important thing to remember is the grass is not always greener on the other side.
I remember dating 30-something women. The relationship was like they superglued a brick to the gas pedal. No, I wasn’t looking to get married after dating 30 days with kids 9 months later. I felt like I was one of their life’s checkboxes they had to check.
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