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Don't mention it again to your daughter. She's very unlikely to start a conversation about it; she only says that she likes it because she doesn't wish to disappoint you. Let it quietly pass out of your lives.
Maybe she really likes the snack (food is powerful - especially sugar), and maybe she is able to feel a part of things while actually being on the sidelines. Either way, you can probably find a better activity. There's no need to point out to her that the girls were excluding her, as she might not have even noticed - yet.
When I was in Brownies we paid weekly dues: a dime. (This was when candy bars were 15 cents.) There was no other fundraising. We sang songs, played games, did crafts, and went on hikes.
In Juniors the only fundraising I remember was the annual cookie sale, with no pressure to sell a huge number. In sixth grade I sold 106 boxes, and that was the most anyone in my troop had sold the entire three years of Juniors. We also paid dues. It might have been 50 cents.
But if you ask her, she says she really likes it and wants to stay in it. She's 7 by the way, so what do you do?
In all honesty, I think it's kind of lame and the troop is nothing like the Brownie troop that I was in for 2 years growing up. We did really cool crafts, Xmas caroling and other community service. We joined very late in the year last right (May), bu me suggesting it. We moved out of state and into school mid year, and I "thought" this would be a way to meet other girls. Two of her classmates from last year are in the troop. She would occassionally talk to them when we first joined, but a few of the mothers seemed a little "cliquish" always referring to themselves as the "originals" since this troop started 2 years earlier. We weren't even in the school then.
Fast forward last week we had our first meeting. My daughter talked about being excited to see one of these girls at the meet. We found out 3 girls from last year dropped and 3 girls took their place all whom are "friends" with other girls in the troop. They ran in, sat the table and it was like they were always in the troop. I watched as all the other girls chatted away, and mingled, and my DD sat there quietly, at the end of the table, noone talking to her, just staring at me. I felt so bad, I sort of wanted to say, "Let's just leave." The girl who she couldn't wait to see pretty much ignored her the entire time talking to her other friend, and I would see my DD try to say a word to her every so often. Literally the hour consisted of 30 minutes of snack time, yes 30 minutes then 30 minutes of coloring. My daughter can do this in her living room with her sister. I mean, I wasn't around long enough last year to see if the whole year was run like this, but the few meets we did attend, with the exception of 1, it was ran that way.
So I asked her afterwards if she likes Brownies and said we don't have to come back if she doesn't want and she responded very quickly that she "really likes it." So do I the parent go by what she says, or her behavior? Next meeting I will be hit up for dues galore and already got fund raising to do. So rather not waste money..
What would you do?
You're basing your decision on one session?
Do this instead. Leave your daughter there while you run an errand. Do this several times. Wait two months and then see what she says. If the other girls aren't talking to her, perhaps put a bug in the ear of the troop leader.
But if you let your daughter quit the minute she doesn't fully love something, she'll pretty much quit everything from athletics to music to school and everything else.
By the way, the title of this thread states that your daughter doesn't like it, while the post itself says the opposite towards the end. Maybe YOU don't like it and you're projecting your feelings onto your daughter.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 10-03-2018 at 02:09 PM..
okay from the Op said the moms are a little cliquish well the apple does not fall far from the tree so I think these girls will end up being cliquish and this is not something you want your daughter involved in . Because cliques can turn into mean girls real quick . I would take your daughter out of this if she is not enjoying it and let her find her own thing . this does not sound like her thing at all . Good luck .
Don't mention it again to your daughter. She's very unlikely to start a conversation about it; she only says that she likes it because she doesn't wish to disappoint you. Let it quietly pass out of your lives.
For a seven-year-old, this is what I would do as well. See if she even brings it up again. She might think she likes it because she likes the idea of what she thought it would be like, even though it's not the reality. If you don't mention it, though, she might just forget about it. Look for something else to keep her busy. I don't know if you belong to a church or if you are interested at all, but many of them around here have programs on Wednesday evenings that the kids seem to like a lot (and anyone can go, you don't have to be a member). That could make a good substitute if you are in agreement with the belief system.
Kids exploited to sell cookies and popcorn is what it boils down to.
Not true of most girl scout troops, but in girl scouts everything depends on the leader. My granddaughter started with Daisies and her troop started camping in their very first year. On their first camping trip it was cold and we thought they would not want to go again, but the girls loved it and have continued to camp and do service projects and crafts ever since. It helped that the leader encouraged the girls to include everyone.
They did sell cookies, btw, but the money they made from that was used for trips to different places, so they were happy to sell at the time. Also, the money that council got from cookie sales helped with scholarships for girls who could not pay for activities and we had at least one or two girls who needed that.
Your daughter wants to give it a try, so let her go to several meetings. Give her a chance to fit herself in.
If the group is dull, I suggest that you volunteer for the occasional session. What talents do you have? Offer to come to one session and direct manufacture of paper plate black cats, or demonstrate pumpkin carving (for Halloween). Or give a class in how to make pipe cleaner reindeer, or give a class in decorating holiday cookies.
It sounds like the troop does nothing, so you provide the occasional interest.
Find another troop that's been around a long time with experienced leaders who take it seriously. And don't stay for the meeting UNLESS YOU ARE VOLUNTEERING TO HELP WITH AN ACTIVITY!
(signed, former leader, Troop 3999)
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