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it's been people raised by parents who rely on doctors and legal drugs all the time.
parents who use a lot of alcohol even if reliably employed.
people who beat thier kids, abuse or neglect them.
people who put thier kids on drugs for "behavioral disabilites", fake adhd, etc ( ie misdiagnosed kids who are abused and reacting to that)
I don't know where you live, but in my community, drug addicts are raised by drug addicts (or addicts of some other kind). You are just more likely to notice the upper middle class addicts who surprise you, not realizing that there are plenty of poor folk who are addicts raising addicts.
I don't know where you live, but in my community, drug addicts are raised by drug addicts (or addicts of some other kind). You are just more likely to notice the upper middle class addicts who surprise you, not realizing that there are plenty of poor folk who are addicts raising addicts.
Like it's been stated thru this thread, no parent or parenting style is completely immune from losing a kid to addiction.
My opinion, the recurring theme with addiction is hopelessness. When a kid, rich, poor, 2 parent, or broken home etc.. starts to feel his current situation is hopeless or incapable of any improvement. I believe the process of a slow motion suicide begins. Then the intended ansethetizing effort of drug use & addiction becomes difficult (and/or impossible) to escape (?) I think sometimes pessimistic parents can create an environment of hopelessness, but not necessarily.
Tragic..
From what I've seen, addiction is an equal opportunity slayer -- poor, middle, or upper- class , black, white, brown, Asian, male or female, immigrant or native-born, gay or straight -- anybody can fall victim to addiction for any number of reasons, many of which have been mentioned here. (And I don't beleive it's just bad parenting.)
But what I've also noticed is that recovery is not equal. It is, in fact, very class-based IMHO. The most lasting recoveries I have seen are usually among a very specific set of parents: those who recognize their kid's problems early and take them seriously; and those who have the resources to invest in long-term rehabs rather than just the 30-day version. As one of those parents told me, "He was there for three years, they treated his mental health issues, and he actually got to see what normal was like." Those places, unfortunately, take money that poor folks, and even many upper-middle class folks just don't have.
There is no guarantee that the addict, under any circumstances, will ever recover. And there are success stories as well of people who never have any long-term care (except for AA or NA) and recover. But from what I've seen, long-term comprehensive rehab and sober living houses for follow up raise the odds for a successful recovery a lot.
Like it's been stated thru this thread, no parent or parenting style is completely immune from losing a kid to addiction.
My opinion, the recurring theme with addiction is hopelessness. When a kid, rich, poor, 2 parent, or broken home etc.. starts to feel his current situation is hopeless or incapable of any improvement. I believe the process of a slow motion suicide begins. Then the intended ansethetizing effort of drug use & addiction becomes difficult (and/or impossible) to escape (?) I think sometimes pessimistic parents can create an environment of hopelessness, but not necessarily.
Tragic..
Of course no parent is immune. However, parents can play a key role in seeing that their kids stay away from drugs. Education about drug abuse is key, but that should be a given. All the above reasons that our kids might want to try drugs should also be addressed. Even more so I would think. However, don't let it get started to begin with. Who are your kids friends? Where are they hanging out? Are they hanging out at the after school party house, or are they at band/sport practice? Are they going to a park where drugs are sold? Who are the dealers at school? Believe me, I wasn't always so hard on the parents. After all, I was a parent myself and lord knows we all make mistakes. But, now that my kids are grown and after our many conversations, my views have shifted.
I live in Appalachia. Meth and opioids are huge problems here. I grew up in a working class community. With some exceptions, the people I knew growing up who had drug addicted parents or relatives had far higher odds of becoming addicts themselves than those who grew up in a clean household.
Also, for what it's worth, the "visibly addicted" seem fairly confined to the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum. I know this is a stereotype, but go into any Walmart around here and you'll see quite a few people with the visible meth signs. Drive across town and go into Target and you probably won't see anyone like that.
The people who visit this Parenting thread, are probably self-selected "good parents." Bad parents are probably busy doing bad things.
The thing is that no one will ever admit to raising bad kids or kids with substance abuse issues. Who are the parents raising such kids? Do you know any of these parents? There are a LOT of them, all over the U.S. (not sure about the world - I think the U.S. is by far the worst in terms of drug addicted people).
Are any of these parents your friends or relatives?
Do any of them live on your street?
Wow. Just wow.
For starters, the one drug addict in my extended family has siblings that are doing just fine. One of them owns several successful businesses.
Do you not know anyone whose kid despite upbringing drifted into trouble through life?
You sound like you're very young and naive if you've not run across people that have had kids that struggled with drugs, alcohol etc. sometimes due to mental issues and none of it due to their "parenting".
I'd work on opening your hand to others instead of extending a finger in accusation. It's good for the soul.
So, to answer my initial question: I feel a lot of drug addicts are being raised by drug addicts (either alcoholics or pill-poppers, or worse) . . . I don't know any specific cases - it's just based on numbers/conjecture - there are a lot of alcoholics and a lot of pill-poppers, and many of these have kids.
I belong to a FB group for relatives of addicts and a lot of those people talk about having to "hide their pills" from the addicts. They talk about sleeping with the pills, locking the pills up, etc. I want to ask why are YOU taking so many pills, but have refrained. It seems very common.
I only take one RX daily (for thyroid). Would never be "popping pills," or "hiding pills."
I think it has become a way of life in the U.S.
That, and the booze industry is so huge - and "partying" is now a full-time activity for many.
Memorial Day is coming up. In the past, none of these random holidays were anything more than hot dogs, potato salad and for some people, a couple of beers. Now, every holiday is an excuse for many people to get completely wasted. Society has really changed in this respect where getting wasted is a sport now.
The people that I know that either hide or lock their medications up are ones that go to pain management that have signed a contract saying their doctor will not replace pills that are lost or taken by someone. I believe the only time the doctor will write a new script is if there is a break in, the patient has a police report.
People that I know that have bought drugs off the street are ones with legit pain issues where doctors wouldn't listen.
Your daughter sought help for her mental health issues and is working a program. I have nothing but admiration for people who put in the work to change destructive habits.
I have little sympathy for those who adopt labels and become victims - not people who own their stuff and do whatever they can to lead positive lives.
SERIOUSLY? ME????? ROFLMAO. Bitter about WHAT? I am the furthest thing from bitter you will ever meet. I am grateful and fortunate to have such an intelligent, compassionate, and caring kid.
I've read your posts, and people's reactions to them, both in Mental Health and in Psychology. I am aware of how you view the mentally ill.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 05-24-2019 at 02:55 PM..
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