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This seem to be a case of parents not being A-OK with their 15 year old (or younger) daughter having sex with a HS senior. Some might say those are parents who are involved in their kid's life and setting some boundaries.
I thought we were supposed to look down on lazy, neglectful parents and out-of-control kids.
These are the consequences of breaking the rules.
Don't want your BF in jail? Don't want to go to jail? Be responsible about your own sexuality by either waiting, or letting your parents know the reality of your relationship. Old enough for sex = old enough for honesty.
This seem to be a case of parents not being A-OK with their 15 year old (or younger) daughter having sex with a HS senior. Some might say those are parents who are involved in their kid's life and setting some boundaries.
I thought we were supposed to look down on lazy, neglectful parents and out-of-control kids.
These are the consequences of breaking the rules.
Don't want your BF in jail? Don't want to go to jail? Be responsible about your own sexuality by either waiting, or letting your parents know the reality of your relationship. Old enough for sex = old enough for honesty.
This is actually how I see it too.
Remembering high school, there is a WORLD of difference between 18 and 15 and a freshman/sophomore might be very easily led by that older guy, who's almost in college and seems like "practically a man," especially as compared to her frosh peers. People may think it's dumb to put restrictions on "just" a 3-year age difference but at this time of life, three years are pretty huge.
Uh oh....guess I'm gonna get in trouble for losing my virginity when I was 14!
In all seriousness, when I was with CPS, I had a 17-year old male client who spoke about wanting to have sex with a 14-year old female. I spoke with him concerning this and I think his feelings were hurt by my words (No, I didn't use profane or vulgar language) but the bottom line was I instilled two words in his brain: Megan's Law.
Uh oh....guess I'm gonna get in trouble for losing my virginity when I was 14!
In all seriousness, when I was with CPS, I had a 17-year old male client who spoke about wanting to have sex with a 14-year old female. I spoke with him concerning this and I think his feelings were hurt by my words (No, I didn't use profane or vulgar language) but the bottom line was I instilled two words in his brain: Megan's Law.
I agree with Zen when she points out that people alternately complain that parents are too permissive and society is going down the toilet over lack of "parenting", and then hint how silly it is to try to oversee the sex life of someone who's recently out of middle school because it's so fun to have sex as a young teen and brings back so many great memories. Which is it?
If it's "let fly, it'll be fun for them and they'll chuckle about it one day," great, then I never want to hear another word out of anybody about how kids today have no restrictions and parents are afraid to lay down the law and kids figure they can do whatever they want to do and oh noes, look at the lazy slackers that's producing and ZOMG IT'S ALL THE PARENTS' FAULT. I mean that's fine, but pick one, people.
I don't talk about "parenting today" or "kids today" like that very much because I AM a parent, and it's hard. You do the best you can do. But growing up, I knew kids whose parents were a nice, respectable nuclear family from a good neighborhood, who went totally bad. I knew kids from poor, broken homes, and sketchy neighborhoods, who were really good kids. Sometimes you do "everything right" and yet STILL...still. The kid goes some wild direction you never predicted.
And some of the wildest, most rebellious people (as adults generally) I have ever known, went to private boarding schools, or religious based schools, growing up. Ain't that just the thing, you pay a fortune to put your daughter through some frou-frou Catholic school or some such, and she grows up to have purple hair and a nose ring.
And teenage sex is just one of those things. It is incredibly difficult to control a teenager who is determined to do it. The best practices as I see it, is to educate the heck out of them, and keep the lines of communication as open as humanly possible. My Mom got me on the pill the minute she learned I'd had my first time. And yes, I did proceed to go wild and have a whole lot of partners, but I used protection, never got pregnant, and didn't catch anything. (Well, didn't get pregnant until my family booted me out of the nest with no instructions on how to go get free or cheap health care or pills anymore, at age 18. But hey, I wasn't THEIR problem anymore, and I WAS an adult, so who cares if I got knocked up and stuck with... Yeah, I'll stop. I'm not bitter, can you tell??) I wish there were as reliable a method as pills, for boys, I don't really trust condoms 100%, and I've emphasized to my sons that optimally, they should be using condoms, and other methods as well. But the #1 prime directive is not "make sure they are your exact age" it is, DO NOT GET ANYONE PREGNANT.
As far as I'm concerned, about age 14 to about age 24-26, you're going through a whole grey area of no longer a child, but not really quite an adult (even if society says otherwise.) I hate the sheer arbitrary-ness of the 18 year old cutoff, as though on your 18th birthday something magically happens and makes you responsible enough to "adult" properly.
This seem to be a case of parents not being A-OK with their 15 year old (or younger) daughter having sex with a HS senior. Some might say those are parents who are involved in their kid's life and setting some boundaries.
I thought we were supposed to look down on lazy, neglectful parents and out-of-control kids.
These are the consequences of breaking the rules.
Don't want your BF in jail? Don't want to go to jail? Be responsible about your own sexuality by either waiting, or letting your parents know the reality of your relationship. Old enough for sex = old enough for honesty.
I pretty much agree with you.
Sounds like to me, the parents were never happy with the relationship and took the first opportunity to do something about it.
It is hard for me to believe that there is an 18 yr old male who HASN'T received the speech about sex with underage females. I find it difficult to drum up much sympathy.
Uh oh....guess I'm gonna get in trouble for losing my virginity when I was 14!
JerZ, is this,what you meant about the bragging and weren't-we-cool attitude about early teen sex by some adults? I must admit it sounds extra strange coming from someone who works with vulnerable children.
I don't talk about "parenting today" or "kids today" like that very much because I AM a parent, and it's hard. You do the best you can do. But growing up, I knew kids whose parents were a nice, respectable nuclear family from a good neighborhood, who went totally bad. I knew kids from poor, broken homes, and sketchy neighborhoods, who were really good kids. Sometimes you do "everything right" and yet STILL...still. The kid goes some wild direction you never predicted.
And some of the wildest, most rebellious people (as adults generally) I have ever known, went to private boarding schools, or religious based schools, growing up. Ain't that just the thing, you pay a fortune to put your daughter through some frou-frou Catholic school or some such, and she grows up to have purple hair and a nose ring.
And teenage sex is just one of those things. It is incredibly difficult to control a teenager who is determined to do it. The best practices as I see it, is to educate the heck out of them, and keep the lines of communication as open as humanly possible. My Mom got me on the pill the minute she learned I'd had my first time. And yes, I did proceed to go wild and have a whole lot of partners, but I used protection, never got pregnant, and didn't catch anything. (Well, didn't get pregnant until my family booted me out of the nest with no instructions on how to go get free or cheap health care or pills anymore, at age 18. But hey, I wasn't THEIR problem anymore, and I WAS an adult, so who cares if I got knocked up and stuck with... Yeah, I'll stop. I'm not bitter, can you tell??) I wish there were as reliable a method as pills, for boys, I don't really trust condoms 100%, and I've emphasized to my sons that optimally, they should be using condoms, and other methods as well. But the #1 prime directive is not "make sure they are your exact age" it is, DO NOT GET ANYONE PREGNANT.
As far as I'm concerned, about age 14 to about age 24-26, you're going through a whole grey area of no longer a child, but not really quite an adult (even if society says otherwise.) I hate the sheer arbitrary-ness of the 18 year old cutoff, as though on your 18th birthday something magically happens and makes you responsible enough to "adult" properly.
Well, in a lot of ways, 18 IS the magic number. At 18, you can vote. At 18, you can join the military. At 18, you can enter into legal contracts. At 18, you're done with mandatory schooling.
Again...what 18 yr. old has NOT gotten the lecture about sex with underage girls?
I'm totally speculating, let me be clear, but I would BET that boy was warned to stay away from the daughter. Probably more than once.
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