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This is dog abuse. I think you need to take the dog to a no kill shelter and concentrate on developing an understanding about the responsibilities of rearing a child. If your partner cannot take proper care of a dog, I have to wonder about her ability to take care of a baby, which needs almost round the clock care in the early weeks.
Your partner is acting like a child. For everyone’s benefit, start talking about how to be good parents. Get couples counseling if necessary.
Right now the untrained dog is a distraction and a source of conflict between you. You need to concentrate on learning how to be good parents. Both of you need to do this—not just gf.
I really get annoyed by people like your partner, who thinks getting a dog is all fun and games until it isn't then abandoning him to a shelter; all because both of you is damned lazy to train the dog properly. A dog is a HUGE lifelong committment!
i rescue dogs from a boxer rescue orginization and after our 2 boxers passed away 5/6 years ago, we had a toddler and a preschooler kids and decided NOT to get another dog until our kids were older. My youngest is 7 now, so we just adopted a 3 year old rescue a month ago, fully knowing all that it entails, the cost, time and committment. A baby/child is a TON more work, so i don't think you guys are even ready. Rehome the dog to a deserving home and get yourselves to counseling.
I've just reread my earlier post. I want to emphasize that it takes two parents to raise a child, if two parents are available. I mean no disrespect to single moms or dads. But there are two of you, it took two of you to make the child you are expecting, and it will take two of you to raise him or her.
But, you need to rehome the poor dog first, IMO. Then concentrate on learning to be good parents.
I dont know - she avoids talking about it) and there's no talking to her... I said before that the babies safety isnt something I'm willing to gamble on given the dog has shown aggressive tenancies and shows a lot of jealousy when the cats go near her and instead of us coming to an agreement she actually told me that if I dont want the dog then I should leave?
Am I in the right to be worried for my sons safety and by that I don't just mean I'm worried she'll continue treating the dog like a baby (she constantly lays with the dog in her dressing gown on mornings etc) and try to hold them together as she dreams of and the dog being untrained and jealous snapping or biting him but it urinating and stuff on the carpet a baby will be crawling around on? What should I do?
I think it might be pregnant woman abuse of the mental kind.
She obviously loves the dog, and he cant handle that. Cats leave hair and litter box dust, and even spray all over the place, even on clothes - and he doesn't mention that, just the dog's urine on carpet. The dog wont be jumping on counters and in a crib but the cats will.
He isn't helping, why? Cause he's not there?
She tells him to leave. Sounds like its her place. He talks about training but she doesn't feel up to it - its hardly unusual for pregnant women not to feel well - he cant take the dog she obviously loves for training? He's not going to be living there so there would be no point in him getting involved in training the dog? He's never going to want it to heel or fetch or sit or stay or anything?
Could be a language issue, but he sounds like a psychopath to me. Very manipulative. And he wants to put her through the stress of giving up this dog she loves while she is carrying this son he claims to be worried about? Seriously? Is he hoping the heartbreak might cause her to lose this second baby?
I once knew a couple from Minnesota in 1982. They were living out of a camper at Fontanelle Reservoir in Wyoming. He worked on an oil rig, and his wife stayed at the camper. It was summer, of course. No trees. She was breastfeeding their baby, and all she wanted was a folding chair so she could sit in it with the baby more comfortably, instead of being confined to the hot camper. He gets paid, and they go shopping. They come back with the usual staples, he had bought a toy fireman's hat with a revolving light on it for himself. How come no chair for her and the baby? He didn't have enough money.
IIRC, she left him too.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 07-06-2020 at 08:01 PM..
I dont know - she avoids talking about it) and there's no talking to her... I said before that the babies safety isnt something I'm willing to gamble on given the dog has shown aggressive tenancies and shows a lot of jealousy when the cats go near her and instead of us coming to an agreement she actually told me that if I dont want the dog then I should leave?
Am I in the right to be worried for my sons safety and by that I don't just mean I'm worried she'll continue treating the dog like a baby (she constantly lays with the dog in her dressing gown on mornings etc) and try to hold them together as she dreams of and the dog being untrained and jealous snapping or biting him but it urinating and stuff on the carpet a baby will be crawling around on? What should I do?
I think it might be pregnant woman abuse of the mental kind.
She obviously loves the dog, and he cant handle that. Cats leave hair and litter box dust, and even spray all over the place, even on clothes - and he doesn't mention that, just the dog's urine on carpet. The dog wont be jumping on counters and in a crib but the cats will.
He isn't helping, why? Cause he's not there?
She tells him to leave. Sounds like its her place. He talks about training but she doesn't feel up to it - its hardly unusual for pregnant women not to feel well - he cant take the dog she obviously loves for training? He's not going to be living there so there would be no point in him getting involved in training the dog? He's never going to want it to heel or fetch or sit or stay or anything?
Could be a language issue, but he sounds like a psychopath to me. Very manipulative. And he wants to put her through the stress of giving up this dog she loves while she is carrying this son he claims to be worried about? Seriously? Is he hoping the heartbreak might cause her to lose this second baby?
I once knew a couple from Minnesota in 1982. They were living out of a camper at Fontanelle Reservoir in Wyoming. He worked on an oil rig, and his wife stayed at the camper. It was summer, of course. No trees. She was breastfeeding their baby, and all she wanted was a folding chair so she could sit in it with the baby more comfortably, instead of being confined to the hot camper. He gets paid, and they go shopping. They come back with the usual staples, he had bought a toy fireman's hat with a revolving light on it for himself. How come no chair for her and the baby? He didn't have enough money.
IIRC, she left him too.
The refusal to train the dog is longstanding. The pregnancy is new. At least that is hiw I understand it.
The refusal to train the dog is longstanding. The pregnancy is new. At least that is hiw I understand it.
I think we simply disagree.
Sure, we can disagree. We are also simply hearing one side of the story. At any rate it would be nice if he could post back and answer some questions -
1. Why he is over-protective regarding the dog, but the cats are not an issue? That's a big one.
2. Why he cannot help her? Is it because he is not living with her and not going to be living with her? (Therefore, he cannot be asked, tbh.)
This is also a big one. I mean, if someone cant handle puppy poo (yet can handle kitty poo - and more than one kitties poo) wait till they meet baby and toddler poo! Woohoo!
3. Most importantly, he has already experienced the demise of one pregnancy. He knows he is going to have a son. He is worried about the welfare of that son. But, he is not worried about the welfare of that son so much that he is willing to help her with the dog, or worried about stressing her by continually arguing over the dog, or worried about the massive stress she would obviously incur if she had to give the dog up. Um..where is the rationale there? Why isn't he worried about stressing her?
He's looking for validation here. I would have no problem validating him if he has some reasonable answers that would clear up my concerns/confusion. We are simply taking his dramatic display of the dog as fact, but his reasoning doesn't jive with what he is doing right now, which is nothing but complain to her and stress her.
If that is where his head is truly at, the dog is the least of his future son's problems.
Im not saying you agree with me or need to, but the past is the past. She missed her window of opportunity to train the dog herself. He's not going to step up. Excuse my ignorance here, but where is the love?
Last edited by ComeCloser; 07-08-2020 at 04:24 AM..
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