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Ditch the diapers. Don't even have one in the house.
Take her out shopping, and if she pees or poops her pants, then she's just going to have to wait until she gets home to clean HERSELF UP. Put a large plastic bag down for her to sit on for the car ride home. If you have to go to two or more stores, then go. MAKE her uncomfortable.
You are enabling this child. Peer pressure at school will be BRUTAL for her if she poops herself in class. She'll be teased terribly. Do this for HER.
So I've had some family try to get me to go down this route since they have had it work pretty efficiently for then but I feel like it might be going to far for her so I haven't done this yet. And I have taken her to some doctors before and they were able to rule out any physical problem with her and told me to take her to a therapist. When I took her to the therapist though they told me they believed she was using the diapers as a sort of safty blanket since she is really against things changing on her life apparently.
Good for you for really trying to get on top of this. And great you have checked with doctors and therapist. Now just stick to your guns and keep letting her be uncomfortable. There have been great suggestions here, like no rewards, equal money for diapers to money for toys, etc. I think you will have success but it won’t be easy. Motherhood is the toughest job you will ever love!
Good Lord. Consult an old granny who didn't have the modern conveniences we do today, and ask how she managed to train her children. I'm sure, back in the day, there were several to train.
Try not to overthink this. After a meal, snack time, play time, take the child to the bathroom. No more diapers. If the child soils him/herself, they wash out their underwear. Liners under the sheets for the bed. Extra Tide on standby. Give your child kudos when they are successful. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Consistency is key when potty training.
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My guess is, she has a diaper fetish, which is surprisingly common. If you google "diaper fetish", you'll find it falls into two categories - people who never want to grow up and are jealous/wistful for the unconditional love babies get, and people who are sexually aroused by diapers.
By the age of 6, she's well past the age of the stubborn 3 year old who just won't be bothered to stop play to use the toilet.
And my guess is, this is her life. She'll likely learn that it's unacceptable in public, and will choose to wear diapers only at home.
(And I'd be VERY surprised, if you have a regular pediatrician for well-checks, that the question hasn't come up very forcefully about her refusal to potty train. A pediatrician doesn't keep over looking that after about the age of 4).
Hello everyone just wanted to say thanks for the advice and give an update. So far we haven't made to much progress I was able to get her to go an hour without an accident which is great but the problem is that for bedtime I let her wear a diaper the issue is that Ive found her a few times trying to put on her nighttime diapers during the daytime so she still doesn't seem to interested in the idea of potty training. Also if anyone has any more advice on how to get help her bladder and bowel control that would be great thanks everyone.
Also if anyone has any more advice on how to get help her bladder and bowel control that would be great thanks everyone.
This thread is full of very specific advice on how to do that.
Step One: Ditch the diapers. Cold turkey.
It's obvious she knows what she's doing. So stop enabling the diaper habit. Like we did with pacifiers, you will need to go through one weekend of hell, washing the sheets, etc, or put her on a sleeping bag on the floor if you need to, and then this will be a distant problem and you'll wonder why you didn't push her at the appropriate age.
I have been trying to ditch the diapers but I don't think there is much she can do when she's asleep and what I mean are like what are some things I can try to help strength her bladder and bowels along with the no diapers.
I have been trying to ditch the diapers but I don't think there is much she can do when she's asleep and what I mean are like what are some things I can try to help strength her bladder and bowels along with the no diapers.
These are the things I recommend:
- less juice, NO soda
- prompt her to pee often during the day. She has to retrain herself to recognize the urge to pee
- Cut off ALL fluids 2 hours before bedtime.
- Actually get rid of ALL diapers. She has to know that this isn't an option anymore.
- Take her to the bathroom when you go out so she is comfortable going in bathrooms other than at home.
I actually used this nighttime alarm. It wakes the kids up when they start to wet the bed:
She has to understand that it won't STOP her from peeing at night, but just sounds the alarm when she starts to go in her sleep. There are also tips on their website.
Good luck. I know it's scary, but you will get through this, probably sooner than you think.
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