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LOL I live in Texas and my daughter and I have a grading system based on (gasp) race or ethnicity when it comes to whether kids in general are well behaved or not. (Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.)
From best behaved to worst, GENERALLY SPEAKING:
African American
White Non Hispanic
Asian
Hispanic
Middle Eastern boys
I know - there are others. I also know this may be considered terrible by some people but I don't care.
Kathryn --- You said what I was considering saying.
There's a restaurant we go to from time-to-time. A server, who is an older lady, always remembers us. One day, she was telling us stories about some of the badly behaved kids she's encountered while on the job. She then whispered to us which groups she noticed that had poorly behaved kids. We agreed with her.
The story I mentioned in my previous post about the boy who shot his water gun at me, despite me telling him not to, was a Middle Eastern boy. When I asked his mother why she was letting her kids shoot people with the gun, she never apologized to me. JMO, but I've noticed that a lot of Middle Eastern women seem afraid to discipline their sons.
As you said, it's "generally speaking" and there are exceptions to the rule.
It depends on what you mean by "unleashed." As a parent, my main job is to prepare my kids for adulthood and being on their own, no? So you start small. Which means, in a restaurant, they can go find the bathroom on their own. They can go wander around a garden or outside area if there is one. They can quietly go check out displays such as the live-lobster tank or what not.
As long as they are not being loud or destructive and ruining your lunch or tripping up the waiter, why shouldn't they "branch out" from being at my side in a relatively safe and confined space?
Per the bolded --- How old do kids have to be, in your opinion, to be able to go to a bathroom by themselves? I ask because stories abound regarding very young kids going to the bathroom only to get molested by a perv.
I refer to the unruly, the unleashed, the uncivilized kids that I (unfortunately) encounter as not housebroken. Further, they're becoming more and more commonplace, unleased and screaming at top decibels at restaurants, stores, movie theaters., public transportation, etc.
Frankly, it's beyond annoying, and it's unnecessary.
While my kids weren't perfect, when/if they did act up/out, they were called out, and normal behavior ensued. It's called parenting. Punishment for unacceptable behaviors were extra chores around the house, loss of privileges/computer use/car use.
Nowadays, it seems the parents are too self-engaged to bother with parenting. Those of us who have "been there, done that" wish to go out in public, do our business in peace, and do not wish to be disturbed by the undisciplined of this world.
My parents kept me engaged with conversation and word/guessing games. "I'm thinking of a color." "I'm thinking of an animal." It was entertaining for me, but they must have been exhausted.
I definitely disagree with this. The beauty of having worked as a Security officer on a diverse property is you get to see it all.
Black kids and white kids were running in a close tie.
The others on the list never displayed inappropriate behavior on the property where I worked.
Interesting. Every single time I've seen them in a store or restaurant, they were exactly as I described. Which is - often horrible.
Anyway, my kids are 38, 36, 34, and 32. They just always behaved in public. I mean, they might have misbehaved once but they didn't misbehave twice.
I remember one time, when the kids were little, we were going out to eat after church and I said "Let's pick some place that has something everyone likes," knowing that two of the four always chose chicken strips no matter where we were, and the other two generally chose hamburgers. Anyway, suddenly my youngest daughter (second from the top - LOL) decided to get crunk about it and she began pouting. I said "Look, 1) it's expensive for me to take you all out to eat so I don't want to waste money, and 2) this is supposed to be a treat for everyone, including but not limited to me, and your pouting is ruining it for everyone else and 3) the place we're going literally has something for everyone and you can have anything you like there under one condition - no pouting." Well, she kept on pouting anyway, and pouted and snarled to the table and while we were waiting for the waitress. When the waitress came around and asked her what she wanted I said, "Oh she's not going to order anything - she's going to sit in the car and wait for us." I could see the car from where we were sitting and it was in April so it wasn't too hot or too cold. She could not BELIEVE I was putting her in that car. But here's the deal - I wasn't going to have her ruin everyone's meal.
So I had to keep an eye on her (she didn't go anywhere) during the meal, but everyone got to enjoy their meal and she learned a lesson. And I didn't care whether anyone else thought I was being a weirdo or cruel or whatever.
And she never did that again either. Nor did any of the other kids.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 10-17-2021 at 06:48 PM..
I also see people complain when parents give their kids phones while at a restaurant. We usually do a mix of coloring and phone. Someday soon this will all be over with the little ones as they grow out of it.
Yes, I visited friends I hadn't seen for several years and treated them and their two children, about 8 and 5, out to dinner. Both kids had tablets and were playing games before and after the meal. They were quiet and not bothering anyone.
I'm sure some people would insist the kids were rude to not pay attention to the conversation, but I don't think the detailed discussion we were having about marine geomorphology, my friend's PhD research field at the time I visited, was going to hold their interest very long. One person's "rude" is another's "quietly occupied."
Yes, I visited friends I hadn't seen for several years and treated them and their two children, about 8 and 5, out to dinner. Both kids had tablets and were playing games before and after the meal. They were quiet and not bothering anyone.
I'm sure some people would insist the kids were rude to not pay attention to the conversation, but I don't think the detailed discussion we were having about marine geomorphology, my friend's PhD research field at the time I visited, was going to hold their interest very long. One person's "rude" is another's "quietly occupied."
As long as the sound is turned off, it seems like a great way to keep them happy. The beeps and boops from some kiddy computer games can be annoying to other diners.
But on the theme of unleashed...
I was one of six kids (and assume any children that annoy me are karmic payback). We often went out in a pack, with the wandering youngest brother on a leash. One day we were playing in the river, and the leash got caught on a log that rolled and shortened the leash until my brother was dragged into the water and nearly drowned. Somebody must have told mom, because the leash was never used again.
I remember years ago when I worked as a Security Officer we had several very nice eating establishments with spacious patio seating.
It never failed to amaze me why the parents would sit down and eat and allow their children ( under aged 10) to leave the enclosed patio area and run around the property, play in the flower beds, etc....
Those were the days in which I was ready to resign. I got tired of telling the parents and children it's not appropriate behavior for the property.
I don't have any children so maybe there's something I'm not understanding about parenting.
I am almost 35 years old and hate sitting still myself. I would hardly fault someone 1/5 of my age for wanting to explore.
If the flower beds are the problem, put up a fence.
It's not complicated.
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