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I wonder if she was employed as a "consultant." AKA: temp with a college degree. I must admit young people are being exploited by companies nowadays. Would she get unemployment if she was a consultant?
Either way, she got COVID money along with everyone else last year, would have qualified for food stamps and other benefits based on her (lack of) income and assets, etc. And of course she always had the option of moving back home to get back on her feet instead.
She should contact the alumni services at her university and see if they can help her hone her resume. They quite possibly have a list of employers that she could apply to.
This is a hard situation you're in. It's made harder by your wife who I think is being farrrr too lenient.
Can you compromise with the wife about not setting a budget, but at least setting standards on what you're willing to pay for? Can you set a budget on shopping expenses to $100 a month or $0 for dining out? What employed person splurges on nights out at the bar or extravagant purchases at the mall? That's not normal and I wonder what your wife would have to say about those purchases.
P.S. For what it's worth, I am in a technical field in ecommerce and graphic designers are pretty much always in demand in my field. I'd be shocked if she really couldn't find a job for the past 11 months. Personally, I suspect she is taking her search very lightly.
I know a couple in which the man desperately wants to retire and the woman desperately wants to move to the beach... But they can't because they're still supporting their spoiled hippie 30-plus only child as she sits around doing nothing...
I know a couple in which the man desperately wants to retire and the woman desperately wants to move to the beach... But they can't because they're still supporting their spoiled hippie 30-plus only child as she sits around doing nothing...
WHY???
I don't get it, but to each his own!
He should retire, they should move to the beach and they can buy a beach house with an enclosed first floor apartment with separate entrance for their hippie kid to live in. If their kid wants money, they can work at the hot dog hut or some other beach establishment.
He should retire, they should move to the beach and they can buy a beach house with an enclosed first floor apartment with separate entrance for their hippie kid to live in. If their kid wants money, they can work at the hot dog hut or some other beach establishment.
The kid lives in another city (hippie city) and state that she prefers with a non-productive boyfriend and thinks of herself as an 'artist,' although not a self-supporting one.
Our daughter is 26 and has been unemployed since March of 2020. She was working in graphic design, but got fired right at the start of the pandemic. She was pretty scared and upset about it and so what we agreed on is that we would financially support her, from rent to cable bills, everything. We did this assuming that she would try and find a new job and be back on her feet soon.
What I soon started realizing is that she began to see this as a vacation that just fell from the sky. I'd call her at 10, 11 in the morning and she either wouldn't pick up, or she'd pick up, sounding groggy, as if she'd been startled awake. More and more, I started seeing debit card expenses spent on shopping and dinner out.
When I would ask her about job searches, it was always vague, rarely did I get a position title or a company name.
After this last round of expenses, which included several hundred dollars on clothes, several hundred on nights out, I called her and told her I am about ready to pull this plug. I explained that she does not get to just call it quits at 26 and live off of my money. I promised her I'd be hawking her and checking in on everything. When she sends job applications, I want company names, position titles, and who she reached out to in order to set up a phone screening. I told her I'd be setting her up on a much tighter budget, which, up until now, she hasn't had.
My daughter isn't my youngest, she's the second youngest, I have 1 son who's younger, 2 are older. They're all self-sufficient and she should be as well.
After she and I finished our call wherein I laid down the law, she called my wife and complained that my new rules were going to be very stressful on her. Her going to her mom, hoping for a good cop-bad cop dynamic is nothing new.
My wife believes that we shouldn't put her on a tight budget, nor should we pull funding completely. My wife seems to believe that any day now, or daughter will be hired, but, I'm not sure how she's going to be hired when she's out shopping on a Tuesday afternoon and grabbing drinks with friends on Wednesday night.
How harsh should I be?
We told our daughter that the Family Bank was CLOSED except for truly emergency situations.
Every penny we gave her would hurt us in retirement and we wanted no part of that!
Your daughter is not a child. She is 26 and if she would wake up and get her ass out of bed, she will find something. It might be a gas station clerk or in her field.
Your first paragraph cracked me up. Her rent and CABLE!
All your wife is doing is enabling her vacation!
Time for you to put your foot down, or you will be in deep do do in retirement
Cut her off. She can get a job; most everyone is hiring these days.
OP's problem is that he can't unilaterally cut her off. At least not without risking divorce.
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