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"You can have whatever you can afford" said dear old dad.
Plus pay for the Insurance.
Sounds like a 1988 Dodge Pickup is more her need.
That's exactly what mine said. which is why I didn't own my own vehicle until I was 26. I still went to college at age 18 though, and was officially emancipated at age 19 and lived on my own. You learn to make it and make do. It's a great lesson, btw.
I used to hitch rides with other students from my college for the 1,000 mile trip home and back in exchange for gas money. People used to advertise empty spots in their cars at winter and Christmas break. Is this not done anymore?
I was one of the ones who advertised empty seats in my car, during the one year (senior year) that I had a car. Made for some fun road trips. I too wonder if they still do that. If so, it could be a good option for OP's daughter to travel to and from school.
Our daughters sound pretty similar when it comes to being hard on vehicles ! ha !
#1 Daughter - we got her a brand new Nissan Altima at about your Daughers age. Yes we paid for it. Probably a mistake but we could afford it and thats what we did.
#1 Daughter was hard on that car. Dad of course cannot stand a vehicle to be damaged and i would want to get it fixed up when we came home from Overseas from work to visit. Lots spent at Body Shops - by the Bank of Mom and Dad...again mostly it was all Dads choice and ms gamboolgal just stayed out of in between me and # 1 Daughter - ha !
Once repaired - next visit home her vehicle would be hair lipped again - almost certainly !
About 10 year later - #1 Daughter came to visit us and the Altima needed a good bit of Maintenance. Dad once again took it to the local shop we use and $4K later had her a in good shape/safe vehicle, albeit a cosmetically "challenged" vehicle.
Well I'll be danged if within a couple weeks of fixing her car up - she traded it in on a New Toyota Rav-4 ! I would have rather took that $4K to the Casino and lit Hundo's on Fire shoving them into the Slots or playing me some Pokersszzzz....
We of course paid for Half of her new Rav-4. Again, she is #1 Daughter and is doing well - on her own, working, no problems of any kind. A good girl - just hard on vehicles. We like helping her out - when she'll let us as we tell her we want to see her get the enjoyment now - not after Mom and Dad have crossed over to the Jordan and she gets a good inheritance.
She came to visit a month or so ago and unsurprisingly the 1-1/2 year old Rav-4 has been beat to Hell.
ms gamboolgal finally Layed The Law down to me and all I did was have our Shop do Basic Maintenance and buy her new tires. But No Body Cosmetic Repairs....
ms gamboolgal is right of course. ha ! She has been since I met her over 43 year ago !
MKTwet - I said all that to let you know - that there is many Dear Old Dads like you and us out there. I feel your frustration.
If I had to do it all over again, without a Doubt I would have let ms gamboolgal handle it all ! Hell, ms gamboolgal took care of our finances, the house and the kids forever as I was busy working oversea's and that was the way we were for near to the last 20 year before I retired.
Hell, I remember ms gamboolgal laughing about how expensive #1 Daughters Dance Cheerleading and Proms were and later college for the kids - she and the other Moms would handle it by just not telling us Dads what it all cost ! Ha !
Good memories and good pictures - they do grow up fast !
She needs to take some traffic school. A new car won't help bad driving. No way would I buy her a new car or pay for insurance, she can do that herself, but also needs to understand it is her poor driving.
Reminds me of the old saying, a poor workman, blames his tools.
Yes, for her safety and the safety of others, she should enroll in a driving education school.
Maybe everyone could use a refresher driving course...
You're quite the stalker but yes. 2 of them was by her especially the ebike one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man
Could you expand on this last part? Do you mean travel to college in the sense of going to and from the school at the start and end of the terms? Or do you mean commuting from where she lives (your house or the dorms) to her classes? If it's the former, I would recommend planes, trains, and automobiles, namely the one in which you drive her there, give her a hug goodbye, and then drive home. If it's the latter, then it's time to learn the campus shuttle system, or else buy a bicycle.
Anyways, she's drove my BMW around to go out with her friends and I've seen her Instgram driving her friends around showboating. Then after the 2 accidents which I had to address to my insurance company why I didn't name her on my insurance I just pledged it was a one time deal. After she's driven the older BMWs she didn't want to step back down to the older BMW which didn't have as many bells and whistles.
OP, you mentioned that your daughter had two accidents this year. What was her accident rate from the ages of 16 years up until the two accidents? Teenagers are notoriously bad drivers for the first 5 years (I believe it's been said) but your daughter has 2-3 years of driving under her belt. Is her driving getting worse instead of better with more years under her belt?
I'm hardly parent of the year so no judgement here. And yeah she may be entitled, spoiled etc etc. But the concern would be that her driving is actually getting worse. Or is that not the case?
I said if she wants her own NEW car she can work and pay for it herself. If she wants a car from me and my insurance she gotta play with my rules.
I have a rule when it comes to large purchases with my elder son (15). He has to have skin the game.... Most of his purchases are done with his own money. Larger things like a violin or guitar which I contribute to his upbringing in a good way, he still has to pay a percentage but probably smaller. He even paid a percentage on a lawn mower so he can earn extra cash mowing neighborhood lawns.
Trying to instill a certain respect for money and the work that earns it..... if you give her expensive things which she doesn't respect or try to protect/maintain, then you are just instilling a sense of entitlement.
My first car I worked summers to save up for... bought a junker and had it towed. At the time, I lived in an affluent town.
Worked on getting it running. My father paid insurance, provided the parts, and tools. Since it was my own money and sweat, I had a wonderful respect for that car... didn't matter my friends had new fancy cars. My father was so impressed that I took responsibility and respected that car, that he rewarded me with a brand new Jeep Wrangler (they were cheap at the time) as a graduation present. That Jeep carried me through the next 20 years; college, my big move across country, into my first home, and first child.
My brother (14 years younger than I) was raised by his mother. He was given a Honda Prelude and later a VW GTI. Both crashed... never worked nor maintained them. My father did. Today, he has a problem with taking responsibility... can't even support himself.
I earn a decent living... your daughter's cars are nicer than any car I have ever bought for myself.
Already decided on my son's first car. Its going to be a two seater compact pickup. Carry stuff for lawn work, college or whatever. Only seats 2-3 people so less likely to be distracted with a car full of teens. As always, he has to have skin in the game... so he is already starting to save up and plans to start working during summer.
Last edited by usayit; 06-09-2022 at 05:17 PM..
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