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Why wouldn't the mom open the door for her daughter?
Maybe because she was getting tired of playing Step-n-fetchit for her little tyrant of a daughter, and thought the girl could open the door herself? The mom said through the intercom that the door was unlocked.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-22-2022 at 06:13 PM..
Unless there's another post somewhere where he said he thought about it?
Yet he did refrain from doing it to her. People say and think a lot of things. I've heard people say when they have kids, they're going to take the belt to them if they don't behave. Then, once they have kids, they don't do those things to their children.
Either way, he should move on from this relationship. It's very clear that he and the child's mother don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to disciplining children.
The mom has no idea of how to parent. She gives a phone to a 7 year old, she caters to her, accepts verbal abuse, and spoils her.
The OP came from an abusive childhood. These two are never going to agree on how to raise this child. If you possibly could agree on a method of childraising and do it together, consistently, it could work. But you two seem miles apart on how to raise a kid. She is too lenient and you sound like violence might be okay.
Yet he did refrain from doing it to her. People say and think a lot of things. I've heard people say when they have kids, they're going to take the belt to them if they don't behave. Then, once they have kids, they don't do those things to their children.
Either way, he should move on from this relationship. It's very clear that he and the child's mother don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to disciplining children.
OK. So he didn't just say he would "think about it." He said he would do it.
Idk, When mine was seven, one of us either drove him to school and picked him up or walked to the bus stop with him and met the bus in the afternoon. How did this kid usually get in when she came home from school?
Not at all impressed by her parenting style, but these guys who come into these kids' lives and suddenly become an "authority figure" right off the bat are a whole different level of just plain wrong.
The relationship won't work. She's going to pick the children over you every time. Since you didn't want kids I don't think you will like being the Dad. Take yourself out of the picture before her kids bond with you.
I'm dating a woman with a child and when her 7 year old came home. She rang the doorbell, and the mom spoke through the ring doorbell that the door was open so she can come in herself. Her child sat outside and told her that she wanted her mom to come answer the door. So her child sat on the steps for a couple minutes because she refused to open the door herself.
Eventually after about 10 minutes the child opened the door herself and came in and walked straight up to her mom and said "next time you're gonna answer the ****ing door." I was blownnnnn away that she spoke to her mom like that. Then her mom just told her she can't talk to her like that and made threats of taking the phone away for the day. Then her mom said "apologize" then her kid said (in obviously empty words) "I apologize."
She asked her "what would you like your punishment to be?" The child said "nothing", and then that was the end of it. Then, LITERALLY, five minutes later her mom offers her an ice cream cone, and let's her just watch tv while she sits on the couch eating it.
I am not the father and I don't have any kids, but am I wrong for thinking to myself...."uhhh how the hell do you let your kid talk to you like that?"
I mean, if that was my kid she would have gotten back handed before she ever finished that sentence.
I feel like the mother (my girlfriend) is rewarding that kind of behavior and she's going to grow into a monster when she gets older. And her child has absolutely no respect for her. She never punishes her. She never follows through on threats/punishments. I feel like this is also going to damage our relationship.
Can somebody please explain to me what is going on with my girlfriend and her daughter? I mean, I don't have kids so that's why I reached out on this forum. Because I dunno, maybe every 7 year old tells their parents "you better ****ing do this" nowadays?
The kid sounds like a classic case of oppositional defiant disorder. Has the Mom considered taking her in for an evaluation/treatment?
At any rate, Mom's current cute little bundle of defiance is going to turn into a very dysfunctional adult. Plus, can you imagine what this kid will be saying and doing once she gets anywhere near puberty? And if you were to stay with Mom, you'd better be well prepared for an extremely unpleasant home life. But you know this already.
When I was about 5 or 6 one of my classmates showed me how to "flip the bird." I thought I had learned a cool new skill, so I tried it out on my Mom. I have never seen her quite so angry before or since. I got locked in my room with no TV for a week! My Dad who usually took my side, not only approved of this punishment, he thought it should have been twice as long.
After that I never even so much as whispered a dirty word until I hit college and my classmates taught them to me.
Anyhow, run as fast as you can away from the Mom. Most of our lives are already hard enough. Why make your own even harder than it needs to be?
At any rate, Mom's current cute little bundle of defiance is going to turn into a very dysfunctional adult. Plus, can you imagine what this kid will be saying and doing once she gets anywhere near puberty? And if you were to stay with Mom, you'd better be well prepared for an extremely unpleasant home life. But you know this already.
I agree with this, but not for the reasons you might think. Mom has introduced some very unhealthy boundary dynamics into the mix (such as allowing some guy she's just started dating — read the OP's prior posts — to act as an authority figure in the child's life). Who knows how many other guys she's dated who were allowed to take a position of authority over her kid. So Mom is at once very lax but at the same time very willing to let whatever boyfriend du jour have a role of authority in her daughter's life. Not good. Not at all.
I'm not sure what to make of the kid ringing the doorbell and all that; it is normal anywhere for seven-year-olds to ring their doorbell to get into their own homes? Was she coming home from school, and why wasn't Mom meeting her at the bus stop or picking her up from school? She is seven.
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