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It seems that there are many more children with mental health issues now. I'm really amazed at the number of children we know that are on meds. A few have parents that did drugs, which could be a cause, but others don't have any history of substance abuse.
I know it's extremely difficult to parent these troubled children.
Just remember that for every kid and parent out there that is that matches the stereotype of today's kids, there's another dozen kids playing football, getting knocked down, doing their homework, doing chores around the home, being polite to their parents, teachers, and others, and growing up to be productive adults. My oldest said something very profound when we were discussing the "everyone gets a trophy" meme. She said, "Yes, everyone got a trophy. Then I turned six." The kids know the difference between the freebies they got (and frankly cared more about the pizza party than the trophy) and the awards they earned.
I don't get it. I was brought up to know how to deal with life as it comes to me, in the way best suited to serve myself, my family, and our community. We were told to do well in school, learn to debate, learn the value of objective thinking and applying it to real life circumstances.
If we came home crying, Mom told us to get back out there and "buck up." We were told life isn't fair, learn to live in the real world. If we had a weakness to overcome, we learned to do that, or suffer the consequences. We were told it's a big world and we are small. Little fishes learn to swim dangerous waters.
Now what do parents do? Did parents expect the world to cater to their young? It doesn't happen.
Nowadays it seems parents cater to their kids. They chauffeur them from one activity to another and park them in front of a screen when they're not being chauffeured. As a result, they don't know what to do when life sucks, is boring, or gets difficult.
Nowadays it seems parents cater to their kids. They chauffeur them from one activity to another and park them in front of a screen when they're not being chauffeured. As a result, they don't know what to do when life sucks, is boring, or gets difficult.
I agree with this. Seems as time goes on parents have this mentality of, I want my kid to have everything I didn't ! Could be anything from material things to traditions to how you get along. There are so many expectations people seem to have of what life will be like when they have kids and you just can't plan everything no matter how fortunate you might be. Many households have two working parents these days and I find it's still the mom that gets most of the kid/household tasks. There's also lots of talk of be present, be there for like everything even kids practices or school pick up drop off. I'll admit that I hate school pick up and drop off. This year my kids take the bus. Parents have so much pressure to be at everything the kids take part in and be happy about it all.
In previous decades I think there was more of a village. Kids played outside in the neighborhood, there was more sense of community. I don't find that quite as much these days. And yes I'm sure electronics are part of the blame. Parents get a lot of guilt about things too. Could be from remembering things as a child and thinking oh my dad always got home late or my mom never played cards with me.
My family rarely sits down at our table to eat unless we go out to eat.
I have a suspicion that the imaginary "parents" being conjured up in this thread are found mostly in two-parent, upper middle-class, non-minority households. That's what everyone's picturing, right?
I think parents raise kids differently but there is more involvement from the parents today. Is that good or bad? It seems good for the kids, makes parents feel better about themselves but why are there so many more mental health issues from both parents and kids today?
I paid $50 to drop my son off today at an art class. I don't feel guilty. He is learning things from someone else and interacting with kids he normally wouldnt be. I am here at home with my daughter who has a cold so it's not like I'm on the couch watching tv.
I don't think ipads should be babysitters but parents do need to learn that they don't need to spend every minute doting on or catering to their kids. Helicopter parenting. Usually those parents are annoying as all hell. There should be a happy medium.
My family rarely sits down at our table to eat unless we go out to eat.
And why is that? It sounds like you regret it, but if so, why not do something about it? Is it really that hard to do? A friend of mine's family was the same way; when I visited for a week, dinnertime tended to be a bit chaotic or unpredictable as to who would be in attendance. Sometimes the only reason everyone wasn't able to gather at the same time was, that the dad had promised the day before, to take one of the kids out for burgers as a reward for something. Small, easily avoidable factors contributed to the absence of a family dinnertime.
Maybe structure to the family life isn't a priority these days? Is it that hard to organize personal schedules around a dinnertime?
I have a suspicion that the "parents" being conjured up in this thread are found mostly in two-parent, upper middle-class, non-minority households. That's what everyone's picturing, right?
Only you. Good parenting doesn't care about race, religion, household income, or any of the factors that society focuses on. I picture the parents from my kids' school nights. From lawyers to trash truck drivers and everything in between. United by the fact they all cared about raising their kids well.
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