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Since you're not willing to do what you're about to ask your son to do, I guess there aren't a lot of options.
Before I ask one of my kids to make a sacrifice, I am usually willing to do it myself first, rather than pass it down on them.
I don't think it's fair either, but I think my wife should be the one to tell her mother that she should not expect use of the vehicle she no longer owns. I think my wife has to deal with this.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440
I don't think it's fair either, but I think my wife should be the one to tell her mother that she should not expect use of the vehicle she no longer owns. I think my wife has to deal with this.
Since your wife has use of two cars, and you have your own car, it does seem that offering her the one that's not a company car would be a good solution.
OR, allowing your son to use that SUV and the mother in law to use her old beater that your son now owns might work.
If I were visiting, and the 3 of you have 4 cars between you all, it does seem there are enough cars available to make everyone mobile.
So you're just fine with telling your son HE has to give up HIS car for his grandmother to drive whenever she wants on her visit, but when people suggest you or your wife provide one of YOUR three cars for her use or rent her a car for while she's in the country, you have a long list of excuses.
Gee, I wonder why he is upset with you?
I have just decided to stay out of it. I told her how unfair it is to our son, but she seems to be convinced that this is the only viable option. Like asking her mother to rent a car for herself is disrespectful in some way. I'm fine with it because I'm not getting any more involved. If logic (rent herself a vehicle) or decency (feeling you are entitled to a vehicle you no longer own) are ignored I have to bow out. Its between my wife, son, and MIL.
Since your wife has use of two cars, and you have your own car, it does seem that offering her the one that's not a company car would be a good solution.
OR, allowing your son to use that SUV and the mother in law to use her old beater that your son now owns might work.
If I were visiting, and the 3 of you have 4 cars between you all, it does seem there are enough cars available to make everyone mobile.
I would agree except for the fact that she is careless with her cars. She drives them into the ground, and expects her husband to fix it. Last summer while she stayed with us a week before she left she backed into a pylon leaving a sizable dent in the right rear quarter panel. To make matters worse she didn't say anything, until we asked her about it (she tried to park the car in a spot where we would not notice immediately notice it. This was the reason I refused to fix the vehicle while it was in her name. I only spent the money to fix the car after we became the official owners. To make matters worse anytime this pattern of behavior is pointed out to my wife she gets defensive. This is why I have washed my hands of this matter.
I think son should move out, take the car with him, and not respond to any phone calls/texts from his Mother, Grandmother, or you.
He bought the car. Are you reimbursing him 3k if grandma damages it? Your wife should let her mother drive her car or her mother should rent one. Which if she is as careless as you say might end up in a fiasco with the rental agency. Uber might be the best option.
BUT, if it were me, I’d ask grandma to drive me to work every morning when she wanted the car, and also pick me up. Problem solved.
I told him to request that she do this first, but also warned him that she will more than likely come up with reasons or excuses as to why she can't fulfill his request.
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