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And there is no assault charge if it is committed out of self defense.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Don't know what high school you went to, but if that wasn't an assault charge I got hit with, I don't know what it was. Better check the receipt from that $351 ticket I had to pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skbs
My daughter got beat up by kids of friends of some our relatives who were at a family party. They were older boys holding her down and kicking her. She is five and was so afraid all she did was grab at her sweatshirt and try to roll up into a ball to protect herself...
Smart kid! I'm glad she made it out okay. Stories like that make me so mad. And don't get me started on the school district's lazy, laissez-faire attitude, or we'll be here all day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
This may sound terrible but we have always told our kids they better NEVER start a fight but they had better never leave one unfinished either.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Don't know what high school you went to, but if that wasn't an assault charge I got hit with, I don't know what it was. Better check the receipt from that $351 ticket I had to pay.
As much as I would like to comment, I have no unbiased information on your case. You, along with anyone else, can defend yourself from violent assault. If you could not prove it was self defense in court, then either it was not self defense or you just got the short end of the stick.
I go back and forth on this a lot. I was bullied quite a bit when I was younger and don't want my son to go through that. My son is 4 and had been getting pushed and hit by other kids his age (at day care). I didn't think they started that young. He tends to just stand there and take it. I think he is confused most of the time that other kids would do that because he is pretty even tempered. I can't believe I did it but I told him to push back if they pushed or hit him. I refuse to let him hit because of how strong he is. Even the pushing has me worried. But what am I to do? At least he hasn't mentioned anyone pushing or hitting him recently which is good.
I always walked away but that never stopped them from bullying me. Eventually I will teach my son self defense. He will not go through what I did. But he is too young to learn how to really hurt someone or understand what he is capable of. He hit me the other day by accident while we were playing and ouch did it actually hurt! I would not want him hitting someone his age like that.
Years ago my cousin was expelled from at least 2 preschools for fighting. Preschool!! They don't care who starts it these days.
Although, there was a fight at my stepsons high school this past year. Who got expelled? The kid filming it with his phone since they are not allowed to be turned on in school
Sad to say, rationality is hardly a constant in adults so there is obviously a greater dearth of it in kids. Not that I have been there, but it seems the playground is somewhat analagous to the prison yard. If you accept bullying, more will follow and this can scar your whole time there. Resist and even if you lose, you earn respect.
Every situation is, of course, different. So good decision making and judgement is the first lesson. Can you walk away? Well sure, if its Rhett Butler being challenged by a geek and everyone knows Rhett is taking the high road in not killing the geek. Fast forward back to the playground- its wise to walk if you are being ganged up on or someone is pulling a knife or worse. But if the consequences are such that it will invite more abuse, no, stand up to the thug.
My son is almost 1 year. When he is old enough, he will be trained in boxing and martial arts. I will teach him that all hell will descend on him if he starts any crap. But he will also be taught not to take any and to stand up for his friends and for those weaker. I figure he will be picked on once or twice. After he kicks the crap out of the bully, it will no longer be a problem.
Not necessarily. My son was in a class where they had a "no tattle telling" policy. The teachers would not listen to the students regardless of what had been done to them, typically cutting them off with a "you need to learn how to handle it yourself." I understand this to a certain extent, but children who are being physically violent against others should be handled by adults, not their peers. Unfortunately, after considerable discussions, this was not happening, so my child eventually received parental permission to stand his ground once he started coming home on a regular basis covered in bruises, scratches, lumps, etc. from head to toe. The parents of these kids are typically just as bad, if not worse, than their children, and do not believe that their "precious little angel" could possibly do such a thing, regardless of the number of witnesses.
This "solve it yourself" strategy gets taken WAY too far nowadays IMO. Adults need to teach or give children the tools to "solve it themselves" and this works better when their is a conflict or disagreement, rather than bullying. My children's previous school had a conflict resolution corner where kids went, and there were steps they had to follow in terms of having a discussion about the conflict and if needed the teachers came in. It wasn't perfect, but at least it was a framework.
With bullying, its an inherently uneven relationship, where one child is exerting power over another. What I'm reading in the above comments is that as parents, we don't want our children to be on the wrong end of that equation. But I don't think you can always train it out of every child with martial arts or whatever. I think there are intrinsically passive kids and its hard to parent them to become assertive.
A lot of the stories I've read here, it was only when the bullied got a hold of the situation -- through their own self-awareness-- and changed that relationship that they were able to stop being bullied.
Also, I think unfortunately, there will always be bullies, and as adults we need to be involved on the playground, etc., because not all kids have the self-awareness to realize that they don't have to be on the wrong end of this uneven relationship.
With bullying, its an inherently uneven relationship, where one child is exerting power over another. What I'm reading in the above comments is that as parents, we don't want our children to be on the wrong end of that equation. But I don't think you can always train it out of every child with martial arts or whatever. I think there are intrinsically passive kids and its hard to parent them to become assertive.
Fair point, but consider the alternative. Its a challenge, but everyone has courage and part of our job as parents is to help tap into that reservoir of courage.
Hey, I was picked on briefly until I quickly realized the score and I supressed my fear and stood up to them. To this day, I still do not like confrontation (this website excepted) but there comes times when a person has to protect not only his physical well being but his spiritual as well. Being bullied shatters both.
I can already see my boy is going to be the cheerful, mellow type. Nonetheless, I pity the bully that starts up with him.
Fair point, but consider the alternative. Its a challenge, but everyone has courage and part of our job as parents is to help tap into that reservoir of courage.
Hey, I was picked on briefly until I quickly realized the score and I supressed my fear and stood up to them. To this day, I still do not like confrontation (this website excepted) but there comes times when a person has to protect not only his physical well being but his spiritual as well. Being bullied shatters both.
Right, I'm not saying give up - but even with self defense and parental lectures - it takes some kids a long while to develop those skills (some to greter effect than others) and in the mean time, telling them "work it out yourselves" is also bad parenting/supervising.
Fighting back does NOT make you a life long agressive person.....when I was 12 [well over 50 yrs ago] I was picked on by a kid in my class.... finally I had had enough and waited for him behind the neighbors garage...I stepped out and proceeded to "explain the facts of life" to him.... and when he said "I give" I reiterated what I had said.....
Right, I'm not saying give up - but even with self defense and parental lectures - it takes some kids a long while to develop those skills (some to greter effect than others) and in the mean time, telling them "work it out yourselves" is also bad parenting/supervising.
I hear you. My boy is only 11 months, but I am already planning on getting him self-defense training and mentally rehearsing the lifelong lesson on ,not giving crap, but not taking it either'.
Its a tall order, but like with all things, we do our best.
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I'm glad she made it out okay. Stories like that make me so mad. And don't get me started on the school district's lazy, laissez-faire attitude, or we'll be here all day.
