Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My kids are not complacent. It's been perennial question for me - why other kids look so complacent in comparison to mine. They are just free spirits. To get trhough with an idea into their heads ("You have to listen to the teacher!") - it will never happen until they grow up into it on their own. At 3-4, my dd was a monkey in her ballet class - a child that jumps crazily around out of boredom. By 5, she grew into listening to teachers due to her sheer curious mind.
The same with my son - you tell him 5,000 times the same thing - he will not get it until he's ready. So when we enroll into recreational things like swimming, I have this in mind and do not have expectations. Just going with the flow. Hoping that, like his sister, he will mature somewhat for school by 5.
Kinda long answer, just wanted to explain why "has he learned" from a single occurence would never happen at this point with us. In another swim class, a male teacher reacted to him differently, sorta "Hey buddy, come on!" - and he listened better. Depends on the teacher, too.
Sorry to hijack, but I really appreciate this post. Really do. It gives me faith that my very spirited 3yr old is gonna be ok in the big, big world
To know that there are others out there is reassuring when you feel you are the only one with "that child" that doesn't sit still when all the others do...
My son has been in kindergarten for a week now. His teacher is very strict and regimimented (sp), which I knew beforehand and still decided to put him in that school (there is only one class). However, now he has come home and said that timeouts are spent marching in place while facing the wall! There was nothing in the information about this policy! It did say that the first timeout is 5 minutes and the second timeout is 10 minutes. Red flags are going off like crazy for me on this!
On the otherhand, he likes school. He had a 10 minute timeout today for "being noisy" and said he liked marching (he jogged, he said). I don't want to switch schools because he has two friends in his class and we move soooo much, so I want to keep the switching of schools at a minumum.
Any thoughts on this? Am I over re-acting? I also know that this teacher doesn't like a lot of "parent interference," so I don't know if I should even bring this up. But it does make me mad. Yet, my son could use a strict schedule.
Ugh!!! Parenting is so hard, now add in teachers!
I'm gonna play teacher here b/c I was one.
50% of what your child tells you about school is true. The other 50% is not.
50% of what children tell teachers about their parents is true. THe other 50% is not.
He may have been put in time-out & to add to the story, as many times kids will do, he gives it some flare saying he had to march in place. Maybe he started marching in place on his own. Maybe he is so excited by the things going on in kinder that his mind is starting to grow & expand & everything b/c that much more dramatic even if it is not 100% true. Kids do this. It's healthy & normal.
Now, maybe it is true. If so, not so sure what to say b/c most schools would not necessarily allow the marching for some reason or the other. Not sure what her point is about them marching but can see why she has them facing the wall.
I am NOT infering that your child is lying by any means. I am just saying take a breath & look at the situation.
If you are concerned, contact the teacher. Too bad if she doesn't want "interference" (which I find a tad bit strange). She may not care for you walking up to her at the beginning or end of the day & confronting her as she is trying to organize class. THAT sort of interference is not necessary nor appreciated.
If you have her email address, shot her an email or call the school & ask for her to give you a call. She will. She has too
Other than that, be ready for lots of "storys" about teachers & kids & teachers & kids & teachers & kids.
You are not overreacting but you are assuming. To make yourself feel good, get in some sort of contact with the teacher.
I absolutely agree with 121804 in that kids do not always tell accurate stories. Sometimes because of their own interpretations, other times confusing things. So with anything that seems out of whack confer with the teacher to hear the other side of the story before anything.
First, let me say that perhaps the OP's son did march sometime during the day, but not in time out. Marching is a common activity in transitions....let's march down the hall to lunch. That keeps them focused on moving forward so they don't get sidetracked. So maybe he combined them in his thoughts for the day.
Or perhaps he began marching while in time out and the class started laughing because they thought it was funny. Then the teacher extended the time out due to his actions.
You just never know until you ask.
For instance, something that happened to me.......
I had a K student tell his mother I choked him. I most certainly did not! However, this is what he told mom who immediately came and complained to the director, wanting me fired instantly. (This was a private Kindergarten class in a child care center where the owner/director taught the class in the mornings and I taught it in the afternoons.)
Here's what actually happened.....
We took the kids on a field trip to the local Stock Show held in January, so very cold weather. It's very crowded, so keeping track of the kids was an important factor going between buildings and such.
At one point this little guy got cut off from the rest of the line of kids by a large group of bigger kids/adults. I was bringing up the back of the line in order to make sure we kept track of them all, while the owner was at the front. After the bigger folks passed he started veering off in a completely different direction. I called out his name as there were 3 or 4 kids in between he and I and they were beginning to follow him as well.
I made my way as quickly as possible towards him and he still didn't hear me so I basically had to reach over the other kids and grab him to stop him. Being January everyone had on heavy coats. The only thing I got hold of was his hood and that stopped him. He was clueless that he almost got lost.
Therefore his story was I choked him, because when I grabbed his hood and he had to stop suddenly, it of course pulled on his neck.
If the accusation hadn't been so serious it would have actully been kind of funny. However, it really upset me that he had no clue as to the seriousness of his not paying attention and what could have happened to him had I not gotten to him and stopped him. I certainly didn't choke him in the way he told the story to his mom.
Thankfully the owner/director herself had not only been there but seen the entire thing, all the while turning the rest of the group around to come back to me and the boy. She told her that I did not do what her son told her and then explained what happened.
His interpretation was I choked him. I suppose in his own little world that was true. However it was far from the truth.
as far as 'strict and regimented' IMO maybe she should be...she is pretty much setting the tone for the child's future. They need to learn early on that education is first and foremost about learning, rules, respect adn all the other important stuff. Sure they can have fun and friends...those are the perks
Yes, that is one reason we decided to go with this school. I think he will benefit from a strict schedule. My son also came home the first or second day and said some kids got time outs already. I thought it was a bit soon, but regconized the "setting the tone" and might be actually good so the kids know right off how to act in school. I was just alarmed because marching in place at the wall is not your usual time-out punishment and was never, ever told to us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804
I'm gonna play teacher here b/c I was one.
50% of what your child tells you about school is true. The other 50% is not.
50% of what children tell teachers about their parents is true. THe other 50% is not.
....You are not overreacting but you are assuming. To make yourself feel good, get in some sort of contact with the teacher.
Yes, I totally understand kids stretching the truth or misunderstanding reality. And I'm not about to take my son's words for granted. Yet, I was shocked at what I heard and a little unnerved. I thought I would write hear first so I could better handle talking with the teacher.
I am highly suspisious of the "noisy" part. However, I don't doubt the marching part. And here is my problem--I have a problem with the marching, but he doesn't. He asked if he could jog in place instead of marching (which was granted). He told me this with a smile (I think its because he sees his dad exercising).
I feel like I need to let it go. As my husband said, "If it works, great!" But it still seems harsh to me, and I guess what is really getting to me is that the rules and consenquences were outlined to us in paper on the first day, but how those consequences would play were not (I double checked). I feel that if you are going to have disciplinary actions that are outside the norm, you should inform the parents of it. Well, you should inform the parents anyhow. When the paper said "5 minute timeout" and "10 minute timeout," I figured it was head down on the table. When he told me kids had to "march to the wall" during the first week, I figured it was marching to the wall and standing there.
Ugh. I will call and make an appointment with the teacher tomorrow. There has been such a total lack of communication with this school that its maddening!!!
Yet, I was shocked at what I heard and a little unnerved.
I guess what is really getting to me is that the rules and consenquences were outlined to us in paper on the first day, but how those consequences would play were not (I double checked). I feel that if you are going to have disciplinary actions that are outside the norm, you should inform the parents of it. Well, you should inform the parents anyhow. When the paper said "5 minute timeout" and "10 minute timeout," I figured it was head down on the table. When he told me kids had to "march to the wall" during the first week, I figured it was marching to the wall and standing there.
Ugh. I will call and make an appointment with the teacher tomorrow. There has been such a total lack of communication with this school that its maddening!!!
Not sure why you are "shocked". It didn't bother your son; it bothered you as you said. Not trying to sound rude, but you don't even know if the marching really even occurred. Therefore, at this time, the rules that were laid out could have very well been enforced.
You "figured". But you are not the teacher. These are not your rules. Therefore, you need to go to her & specifically ask how she implements time outs. This is not unreasonable on your part & the teacher should expect parents to question her rules. It goes with the territory of being a teacher & setting rules.
Lots of things are going to happen to your son in school b/w teachers & b/w other students. There are going to battles worth fighting & those that are not worth fighting.
Just call the teacher & talk to her. It seems that issues with the school are upsetting you & now little events are going to seem much more dramatic than they probably are b/c you are not comfortable with the teacher or school. This is not a good way to spend the year, so taking care of it now is a really good idea on your part.
Good luck! Kindergarten is suppose to be a fun time for child AND parent
I don't know what I would I would do...but on a side note...My 4.5 year old is now "enjoying" her time outs...the marching thing just might be the trick.
Am I the only one who has no problem with the marching?
My kindergarten and first grade teachers used that. Often, kids act out in class because they're antsy and full of energy. These days, recess is cut short (or completely out!) and most schools have little to no center time anymore. By having a kid march or jog during time out, the teacher is getting some of that energy out.
Am I the only one who has no problem with the marching?
My kindergarten and first grade teachers used that. Often, kids act out in class because they're antsy and full of energy. These days, recess is cut short (or completely out!) and most schools have little to no center time anymore. By having a kid march or jog during time out, the teacher is getting some of that energy out.
I wouldn't have a problem with marching for a while, but ten minutes seems a bit much. I would also be concerned if punishments were being used, that differed from what I had been told.
I didn't read the whole thing - so forgive me if I'm repeating something someone else said. I have a 6 year old who is going into 1st grade. She had the WORST time in Kindergarten. It was full day - but so was her preschool where she excelled. She had a very inexperienced/young teacher and my kid never really respected her. I WISH she would have made the kids march in place. And think about this - the marching gives them something to concentrate on - so they are not standing there fidgeting and looking around and calling attention to themselves and further disrupting the class. If all of the kids march - then when someone is in time out no one is going to be checking them out.
Kindergarten is a big adjustment for kids and I am a firm believer in starting out on the right foot. The teachers have to set themselves up as the authority figure - they have to run the show with 20+ 5 year olds. I am ready to jump off a bridge after dealing with one 5 year old sometimes!
This is your child - of course you're gonna jump on stuff and get worked up - but if he likes school - that is the biggest indicator that everything is okay!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
